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That Girl Jun 2020
It’s that time again.
It’s 2am again.
It’s time to look to the right side of my bed and feel sad.
It’s time to wonder why it’s still empty.
It’s time for me to make a list of why it is empty.
It’s time for me to be ******* myself.
It’s time for me to wonder where I went wrong.
It’s time for me to make a list of all my mistakes.
It’s time to feel sorry for myself.
It’s time for me to break my own heart.
Again.
It’s time for me to play over what men have said to me in the past.
It’s time for my old tinder messages to haunt me.
“Unless I can eat that *** and ***** from the back before marriage Christian girls aren’t as fun.”
“Would you be interested in a nice thick 8 inch ****?”
“I’m looking for a more physically intimate relationship.”
It’s time for me to remind myself the reason why my bed is empty.
Men want the one thing that I can’t give them,
And without my body I am nothing to them.
All I am is what’s between my legs and what’s under my shirt.
And with my legs crossed and my top on,
what could I possibly offer them?
It’s time for me remember that while my choice maybe the right choice,
It’s also the lonely choice.
It’s time for me to remember that even though it feels like it’s my fault,
It’s not.
It’s time for me to daydream until I fall asleep.
Again.
Julia Jan 2020
nothing good ever happens after 2 am
once your thoughts are taken over
by the lack of sleep
you're unable to understand
the difference between right and wrong
between bad and good
playing god on others
but you can't even help yourself
trapped in a spiral of self-hatred
and there's no light of day
that could help you see a way
only darkness that engulfs you whole
and you wait for hours for a single sign
even though it will just **** you more
should i get drunk or overdose
because sleep has long escaped me
i'm helpless without your love
that you don't want to give to me
and i would understand
but i don't want to
and i can't be without you for another breathing moment
you don't even know my name
and i am so utterly obsessed with you
i want to scream from the top of my lungs
but my voice is broken from sobbing
nothing good ever happens after 2 am
like my tears of sorrow and pain
that nobody is around to see
and there's something in my chest
that just won't let me breathe
it hurts me so badly and nobody even knows
i'm so sad but i could be so happy
if you would just love me
it's all i'll ever ask of you
but i just take another shot of coffee
and keep my bloodshot eyes peeled
my heart is racing like it's late to something
and it hurts my head
but you don't care
until the morning dawns and i realize
i haven't really slept in three days
so kids, remember
nothing good ever happens after 2 am
if you know Ted Mosby, then you know
cannabis cat Dec 2019
Good girls and goddess boys
Smear lipstick on the mirror

It would have been one lonely night
Thank you for showing up
cannabis cat Nov 2019
You don’t care
You really don’t care at all
******* and all your desires
I can’t stand you

I have no pity for you
Why should I feel bad
You do nothing but hurt
Not yourself but others

Popping pills like balloons
Exploding organs like bombs
Splatter that **** everywhere
**** yourself in the process

I want to ******* like an animal
I want to feel your insides
Keep me away from my grave
I’ll **** you if you let me fall in

I stopped loving you
I miss doing it though
You smell like warm
I miss your taste

Treat me like a queen
Never stop loving me
Buy me little gifts
Let them eat cake

The worst part is that I remember everything
I want to forget
My head is full of broken thoughts
Death spells spill from my teeth

It’s cold as hell
I loathe your face
I want to destroy you
Slit your wrists like paper

Drown you in acid
Seeing your skin dissolve
Flame up your house
**** those you love

But I have one thing left to say
When I see you it reminds me of a phrase
I want you to be happy
I love you with all my heart
danielle Nov 2019
its 2am and im writing you this poem,
you came across my head.
its weird because you usually don’t,
but here i am, writing poetry about you.

2am and im writing this poem.
its just me, my pen, journal, and this empty bed.
i admit, i am not like this — blunt.
i had a sharp tongue but something happened — you.

i remember how your arms became my home,
how we slow danced in the living room which you always led,
i loved how we listened to each other’s rants,
i loved the times that there was only a thing i needed — you.

funny how we’ve grown,
apart but there’s so much ahead.
this is no romantic poetry for my lad
this is my art of letting go of my thoughts of you.
cannabis cat Nov 2019
I wish I knew you when I was younger
We could have lasted for a while
The butterflies you once gave me
Migrated to another lover

Nothing lasts forever
Somehow I thought this could
Please stay the night with me
I know how to treat you right

Give me a kiss goodbye
Sleep through your alarms
Forget about the day ahead
Lay with me in bed

I think you’re beautiful
But you struck down my heart
Gave it to some undeserving
And I still forgave you

Waste of talent
You’re making me feel ill
I just lost myself
Is this what I deserve?
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