I've spent my entire life trying to prove to others that I am capable of doing great things. I have always thought that to live, you need assurance, acceptance, & belonging. What I didn't realize is that you are your own person no matter what happens. At the end of the day, you are you. You have the capability to do so many things that you didn't even thought was possible. For god's sake, stop pretending. If you are sad, then be sad. scream your anger. If you are happy then show it, smile so big that you would look weird. Don't hold it in. Be freaking transparent that it sickens you. You have every right to do things on your own, But always remember that everything has its limits. Know that everyone is fighting their own battles, no matter how cliche that sounds, It is **** true. Change for the better. Do things for yourself the most. Be happy. Decide every day that you are strong and you can conquer the world. Take responsible risks, set goals, have higher standards, know how to be contented, & the most important thing? love your freaking self that it bores you. Remember, You deserve the world. Baby, I deserve the world.

It seems now, still, and into forever, meaning and being
arrive incorrectly, deciphered through perspective lacking

the cosmic kind of clarity you think we'd be preaching by now
but here I stand, represented by death and persecution,
******, abuse and defamation, stuck in limbo, curtains half-drawn
waiting to see if I'm one -- winding up just another number

Tell me, have you seen it?
Exposure in drip-drop?
Even though shown, so slightly shone, less than any other broadcast
Lasting less than any length of time divining prime time due process

Still we receive clapped hands and stop,
how could we dare intrude living rooms
and man caves, "Man, flip that tab back to Vine,
let me disintegrate." It seems I live to die in
higher percentage and end the show to
indignation. Happy Anniversary.

Days swift hath flown
As a long storm blown
pain and joy few hath drown
even kings lost their crown

fortune and fame eludes few
sucess and love adorned new
Life for few lost without clue
Many a dreams lost as morning dew

Wars and terror held hearts in fear
Natures fury hath torn loved dear
limping hearts burden doth bear
failed ventures seeking dreams near

though many with us not
thank be to life we got
pain on gain love be not lost
Life lived a beating hearts cost

a time around the sun gone
Ups and down lifes song
though our way right or wrong
Lived and living a blessing in the year gone

in the middle of the night
when everything is at its quietest

i feel a tug at my hair
i feel a nudge in my side
i feel the pull of my hand
i feel a restlessness in my body

something is calling me
a distant land or perhaps a forgotten muse
something is calling me

and i cannot wait to answer

~Another beautiful year gone by.
Thank you for being a part of it!
If you ever want someone to talk to, I'll be here for you this new year.
Have a beautiful Christmas day! Thanks for reading! ^u^~

rest in peace to the teens
who wore long sleeves all year round
so no one would notice what they have done
rest in peace to the teens who drank and drank
to blur out someones name
rest in peace to the teens who just lit one too many
cigarettes just to fit in
rest in peace to the teens who couldn't make it to 2015