It’s easy to smoke the pain away

But its hard when the pain comes back the next day

Everything just be so temporary

That’s why I make my body a sanctuary

I praise my thoughts

I’m in a close relationship with my mind
and today is our anniversary

Sometimes I be feeling so out of place

I be wanting you close to me but I’m so use to space

You could be perfect for me but I would still push you away

Don’t take this personally I’m just so use to pain

I hate this tension but tbh I just be wanting your attention

It just ***** cause my hearts not really attentive

I’m in a bad place mentally

Can you make love to me physically

And spiritually heal me inside

I swear I don’t hate you

I’m just inside my mind...

****** my mind
Waste my time

Pull me close
Push me away

Walk into my life
Hastily run away

Show me you are different
Convince me that you are the same

Repair my heart
Tear it apart

I look at the dark side

I expect disappointment

I see that true colors always hide

I fear attachment

I know words always contradicts actions

I have discovered that happiness only turns into sadness

Beautiful clouds hold rain

It's a tragedy waiting to happen

The only way to be saved is to save yourself

I can't be loved if I don't love myself

I never found who I am

So how did I lose myself?

How can something so shallow create depth ?

My mindset is mindless

I have reached my limit

Now I'm boundless

I know my worth

But somehow you made me feel worthless

I was full of energy

But somehow you made me feel drained

So why do I settle for less ?

It's because I'm use to pain ...

****** is ******

That's physical

Pain is pain

That's physical

But depression is corruption

That's mental

Mentally the pain destroys the mind

Emotionally the mind can't destroy the pain

If you haven't been broken you cant relate 

It's a deep feeling that you can't explain

It drives you crazy

Then the thoughts become your passenger

And before you know it the old you is sitting in the backseat  

Thoughts going 90 miles per hour

You become your darkest moment

Blending in with your shadow

 Opinions start to define you

Overthinking becomes your drug

You are an addict

Lost in oblivion

Overdosing on what scares you the most

You tried facing your fears but ended up looking at yourself

you are  your worst nightmare

She craved only attention
  
  Looks can really ****
      
She overdosed on temptation

   Just a broken soul convinced that her only match is pain

 She falls apart
 
Each piece like a drop of rain

   Rejecting love because she couldn't see its face

   Mentally unstable because she's only been surrounded by inconsistency

Stumbling on false hopes

   Hopelessly holding on to what she wish she had

Running through nobody's mind

      Feeling utterly alone
 
 She's lonely

      Searching for just one dose of relief
 
She melts into her mixed emotions
   
 Drowning in her tears
  
She's losing it

Finding nothing but her wasted time

I wanted to save her
       
    But redemption was way too far

She's irredeemable...

Slowly fading away

You use to be my hideaway

Loneliness has become my best friend
 
As I disengage myself from myself

Only you can help me escape my misery
 
I want you

You hurt me yet I still want you

Thats the truth ...

But what if I told you I like the pain

Would you come back ?

Would you be my redeemer ?

Because right now i need you

I managed to cope with our different views

Silently you tore my broken heart

But somehow I still crave you

I adjusted myself to the pain

I became numb to all my senses

Senselessly I fell in love with you

It just hurts me even more because I'm so into you

So innocently into you

So emotionally into you

But loving you won't make you love me back...

She’s a walking beauty

I fell in love with her extravagance

Every moment is magnificent

Her innocence is my perfume

Just her presence alone lights up the whole room

So picture perfect

I’m zooming in for a better view

Cropping out the background

Centering my focus

Her mind is so open

Her thoughts are so outspoken

This girl is not me

This girl is who I want to be

Afraid to mess up

I think he's giving up

Hold up

             Hold on

I've been waiting on this feeling for so long

He said "why are you acting so tough?"

"CAUSE TRUTH IS, I'M 50 SHADES OF TORN UP!"

My tears are now my thoughts

My thoughts are now my fears

I know you'll never love me even if I tried for years

I want to believe that you want me just as bad as I want you

The unbeautiful truth  

That's why I silenced my love for you

It was too loud

The sound drowns out the side affects of you

As I cope with the symptoms

Chasing after your momentum

Kissing your flesh

Trying to get under your skin

I love you but I don't know where to begin

I'm shattered

My Appeal Is Not Visible Or Physical, But My *** Appeal Is Subtle. You Think You Have Me ******* And Stretched Around Your Mind. You Can't See The Real In Front Because You're Looking At Her From Behind. Try Her Out You See She's Insecure And Never Really Sure.            
And I know you know that she's damaged, maybe that's why you're taking advantage . She doesn't know real love because she never had it, and when u touch her she's having flasbacks of herself getting ***** by her daddy.
Shes like a walking caution sign .Cant you see that shes literally on the edge !? but no ,all you really want to see is her lying on the edge of your bed .
Gripping Her Tight And Bringing Fear To Her Eyes. Get Off Me She Says As You're Gripping Her Thighs.  Please Realize She's Young, Only Age 17 And You're 26 Tryna Make Something That Shouldn't Be. She Cries Out Your Name Making You Go Too Far, But One Thing You Forgot Was The ****** In The Car.    
Careless mistakes .. Maybe you should do a double take .. Look at her a little closer .. No , don't look at her figure .. Look deeply . I mean really deep , but don't touch her . okay , now that you got her locked in your focus .. Look into her eyes , then look into her mind.  .  tell me what you see , do you see a naked girl lying on your bed ? Or do you see a shattered girl ?  Clearly she's shattered , her heart is scattered .. But to you , *** is all that mattered .. I know its mind over matter , but do you mind taking some time to focus on something that actually matters