Wrap the thorns around my wrists like serpents slithering for a feast;
the ones who breed to bleed me dry unknowingly making me feel alive.

I'll bathe myself in light from a masochistic moon and listen to shadows on the walls moan in pleasure,
a deadly pleasure
that echos through my haunted veins;
wrapping their legs around my waist
and running their fangs across my lips.

They dig their claws and I pull them closer
hiding a smirk that even they cannot see, for I'm the boy you can't destroy
as I make love to
demons in the dark.

I just want so badly to find someone who will actually love me instead of lying to my face. I just want to find someone who won't slip up on what my name is because some other cat's got their tongue. I've never felt so unimportant to anyone but you, and I regret every second I spent loving you and spoiling you with every fiber in my being that I could muster. But I don't regret leaving you because my value has shot up since I left, and my standards have risen beyond expectations that will never be met and carnal cheat codes. The toxicity you made me shoot up is no longer in my veins and I can finally say I'm clean of you.

you're in my veins and i can not get you out
you're all i taste at night inside of my mouth
you run away because i am not what you found*

i miss not knowing what your favourite song is right now
if i did i would memorise every word as i fall asleep tonight
i miss not knowing what you're reading so i can ask about the characters and watch your lips move as you speak
i miss your body
having it to hold
whether i'm too hot or cold
i miss your shallow collar bones
and drowning inside of your eyes
i'm trying so hard to forget
i'm thinking i never will
at times i don't want to
sometimes i think i could be happy with you living inside my head forever
but memories fade
the way you faded from my arms
and i feel more alone than ever without you to wish me goodnight or make me eat breakfast in the morning

i no longer get drunk under the sun
in public parks where children play
talk to girls who get on their knees for fun
and fight boys who are more broken than me
i grew up in a city
with too many faces
for any one person to stand out
you grew among fields
and still to this day
i'm tortured searching for your face in the crowd