How to decode
My own intricate being
While I'm stuck in a nonsensical cycle?

I feel my mundanity
Getting the best of me
Convicing me
That my words do not sound
As good as it is, in my head

'It is worthless' they said.

I always miss her when she's gone
I try to tell her when she's near
She thinks she's getting in the way
Of getting rid of all my fears
She doesn't know she keeps me sane
When the rain is pouring out
The sound of banging in my chest
Means she's drowning out the sound

I even miss her when she's here
Under the covers with our hands
Clasped together like we're lost
And we're afraid to let it end

I always miss her cos I'm tired
Of feeling too much again
But feeling nothing causes rips
In my heart that has been worn
So I'll miss her less and less
And maybe then I'll get to be
Strong enough to see,
That she also misses me

The simplicity of my words scare me
The depth of my emotions cannot scratch the surface
A whirlwind of chosen pieces
Fog my mind
I am a slave to a game
I cannot win

How do I become better
At presenting my passions stronger?
I am weak with the thought of failure

It's too late for the sun to save her
Her skin cracks as the cold invades
It sets in,
The unwanted guests of the night

You didn't want to know me,
You wanted to get me,
And got me you did.

My thoughts are holding me hostage
Stuck in a place I built
With the cards I dealt
For my soul's sanctuary

Was it worth the crack of bones
From old brick lies
Hanging round my neck?

she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and naked
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.