You'll love her with all your skin, tongue and lungs.
The way that the air is just so much more crisp whenever she's in proximity to your hands.
It turns the scattered dust in the atmosphere into magnifying glasses
Aimed directly at her
Spotlighting everything you wish you could put into words but can't
Because she's just too ******* unbelievable
That even if you tried, you would offend yourself and the gods with how little it compares to
The love she makes you feel in reality.

You would do everything for her.
Hold her until your bones start to crack
So that she'll understand just what you mean
When you tell her that you'll never let her go.
But she still doesn't get it.
She'll never understand that when you tell her that you want nothing more
Than to let your dust be her dust, her words to be in your cheeks
Her nose to be your daughters nose
You mean that you want nothing more than to keep her forever.

But you never will.
Because you never stood a chance.
You thought that by giving your whole self over to her she would offer you the same respect.
That's not how this world works.
It never was.
These valiant efforts of yours are now dubbed selfish and inconsiderate by others
For not taking her feelings into account.
Because she doesn't know what true love is.
She never felt the need to have you near.
For her daughters smile to be your smile.
For your hands to cradle her head when she's sad.
To let you talk for hours without listening to a single ******* word you're saying,
Because she's lost in the sound of your voice.

Because she doesn't know how to accept anything she isn't willing to give.

falling asleep in the morning
i woke up at night
with the moon hovering
over my coffee
but it was just the light
the shining down
on me like a voice saying,
you cannot bury yourself
in the gloom
of the night
and the moon
it does not shine
just half its light
and the moon
will never be as bright
as when lovers and dreamers
first found the night.

Around me people are moving
Buzzing, swarming, fluttering
And living.
Legs moving but I am stationary
Stationary as a pencil
And my life is being written for me
And every slip outside the lines
Is erased - reluctantly
Not without grudges
Leaving contorting smudges.
And the world around me changes
But I am stationary
And they can live without me.

'Our little lives are rounded by sleep'
As ambiguous as a dream
Deceiving; nothing is ever
As simple as it seems.

holding on too tight
too weak to hold on any longer
finger by finger
hope by slipping hope
there's nothing left to keep me up
slipping away
from your grasp and mine
nothing left behind
falling forever
i left nothing behind me
there was nothing to leave
a carcass dropping
floating down
the corpse is empty
she hasn't survived
so why ask?
ask if she's alright?
can you not see?
she never survived the push
she never survived the pain
she never survived the fall.

.


And in the
   simple glint
       of sharpened
           steel designed
                for the simple
                    slicing of those
                        tasteless foods
                             that I can not
                                 consume without
                                    the bitter taste in
                                         my mouth
                                             perhaps I
                                                can find a  
                                                    release at                                        
                                                       last  from
                                                      ­    the   pain
                                                            ­  that   can
                                                             ­    crush  me
                                                       ­             everyday
                                           ­                              with
                                                            ­               not
                                                             ­             even
                                               ­                         a warn-
                                                           ­               -ing