i sit with my legs uncrossing on the toilet seat, 7th period
smells of puberty
of wasted ambition and scathing regret of everything
of whispered secrets and sore thighs, ***** dripping out between your lips into the bowl
of tortured angst, of pulling your skin taut and drawing the blade against you over and over, for trusting someone like him
of hope that the next day will be better than today (it isn't)
of high school.

her ring sits on the mantlepiece
worn thin on one side
that dull warm yellow
that gold sometimes takes on

i remember it cutting into my hand
as she held it tightly as we shopped
it was bright and shiny then

she used to wear it on her  longest finger
after dad left us, she left it off for awhile
and then wore it on the other hand

it was tight on her workworn hands then
she took it off again before she went into
this last home, but kept it locked in a security draw

now it sits on the mantlepiece, waiting
for me to find a safe place for it
for it is the little bit of my mother's spirit
that will one day be part of my son's  wedding ring,

Battling depression is;
Clean fingernails
Under fresh pillow-cased beds
When you forget to eat
But in the good way
Paying bills
On time
For everything
Being able to be late just once
Showering always
Scrubbing
Not crying.

If you are a suicide survivor
Inbox me your name
And I’ll add it to my tattoos of others

You guys mean the world to me
And I have my own name on my arm
Because I too, am a suicide survivor.

she was named after the mountains—
her irises flashed white and howled;
her sleep rumbled with the earthiness
of winter; her mind wandered through
fields of

snow.

i wanted to wander
with her. i wanted to bury my head in the drifts
and sink into her core. i wanted
to stroke her gently:

kiss the
        falling

snow.

The moon in the middle of the day,
dogs when they look at you with feeling,
too many coffee granules to keep in balance
the harmony between coffee *** and grain.

Finding Atlantis in your bath tub,
or solace in enemy arms,
the image of flightless birds that
are waxed too close to the sun to stay afloat.

Having a sleepover on Saturn,
or laughing through stomach cramps under water.
The feeling of salt burning your nostrils
to get back at your own humility.

Teachers living at home with their parents,
teddy's with one eye and patchwork smiles.
Wearing a pink dress to a funeral,
watching a loved one slip, slip, slipping away.