i guess he did win...

*** i miss you so much&

i wish u were with me making me sin.

Theres nothing i can do to convince you that i care....
i wish you were still around so i could prove while your there....

Listening to him only brainwashes you....
theres nothing on heaven on hell that i woouldnt do for you...

I miss laying on the bed and just talking.....
you always had something intrestring to say....

I always thought you seemed older then what age u did say....
But some actions made me think ya ur young born in may.

I wanted to know more about you and tell you my secrets too
I guess that wont ever happen now.....

I just need to get over you.

I miss laughing with you....
I miss you pushing my hair behind my ear like you  used to do....

I miss you talking to me....
explaining certain things on how they should be,....

I miss having *** with you....
you were game for anything ....
there were things i did that I never do.....

but most of all......

I miss spending the weekends or my days off together.....
I miss you now and i know it will too be forever!!!

I know youve moved on and sadly its without me~
Even thou thats not how it was  intened to be...

We had so much fun when we were together...
Doesnt matter now but i wanted you to be here forever...

I loved to cook and make food for you ...
I didnt even get to make the best dishes like i wanted to...

I hate that you and I dont talk anymore...
Not when you Become another person....
I dont like that and want that no more.

I want to talk to YOU.....
like we used to do.....


But I know you never will


and Im trying but its so hard to swallow that pill!!!

Mons getting better *** I spoke of you....
she didnt shed a tear like she would ususally do.

I told her about a happy memory...
and I smiled really big at the end....
and she did she.

Today is Thanksgiving and we need to be thankful,
but its hard you see....
since this will be my moms  last time for Thanksgiving turkey.

I am ever so grateful to be able  to share today..
and I will take many pics so I can always remember all she may do or say!

Its just sad to think that this will be the last....
but then again, one day too we all must pass!

I have 2 recient guys i was seeing....

One is old and should be  or act like a normal adult...

the other is younger and sort of wild and fun.....but a youngster..

the youngster acts more like an adult then the adult does....

How sad is that (for the old man?)