My reprehensible mind
       Slipped you into my dreams last night
    You were there for me
         Cared for me
               Said you were mine

     I cannot say
           I did not enjoy this dream
While it was happening
      It's been a long time
Since I've even thought about you
       But when I realized your words seemed true
    My dream took a turn
                Something morbidly new

      I said the things I wanted to say
          Instead of just saying sorry
And... "It's okay"
         I cursed and I screamed
    I put you down the way you always did me
               I broke your fragile, pathetic heart
       Tore your soul apart

             I was so cruel,
     Yet, I still never reached your level
       With what you did to me
   You'd have made friends with the devil
         I was an angel in comparison
   Enjoying my first little taste of sin

    God, how I loved watching you crumble
                    And fall
          Made me feel larger than life
To make you feel useless and small
          All the times you pushed me down
             Watched me laying,
        Crying on the ground
    I finally had my turn
          How do you like me now?

This may make me seem
         Like a terrible person
     But... I Don't Care
            My dream made me smile
       You weren't there
               You didn't see
All the terrible, painful things he did to me
      
      When I woke up,
   I was finally able to laugh at the past
           Like I never was before
     Truly Enlightening
                 A new beginning
  I'm not in pain because of him anymore
       And *I never will be again

I wanna be your medicine
               To take away your pain
         I need you to take me regularly
To be swallowed whole by you
                              Daily
                  I want you to feel
  That you'd die without me
          And never leaving my side is
     Necessary

          I wanna be your cigarettes
                          To burn for you
     I want you addicted to me
In your mouth constantly
                   I want you to inhale me.
         Every time you
                     Breathe

         I wanna be your music
                     Your drugs
   Your heart and soul
           Your liver and your lungs
I want you to NEED me
             I need to feel that feeling
   The feeling that I'm
                Not just something
                            But everything



Because,
For far too long,
I've felt like nothing.

I wash my hands of you,
At least I try to
My heart still write songs about your unmeasurable beauty
About how talented you are
About how amazing you looked that night
So I told myself maybe I'll get to hear your sweet voice just one more time
Maybe I'd get to see your beautiful smile just one more time
Maybe I'd get the chance to hold your soft hands just one more time
Maybe I won't see you ever again
Forcing me to become a victim of the deadly phrase,"what if"
What if I'd just told you about how felt when talking to you
How you literally made my day even when it was past the point of no return
How pathetic I looked as I waited for you to return my text
What if I just told you these these truths instead of hiding behind this invisible wall
What if I told you I think I'm falling in love with you
Would you say it back
Or would I just look like a fool
what if you were part of my life
Would you be happy
Or would I be the worst guy you ever met
What if...
I could be your guy

I can't breathe
My entire world is crumbling down upon me
It's enclosing on me,squeezing me,trying to pop me like a pimple
Trying to force to become this being that I am not
I CAN'T BREATHE!
So I just scream,"Get off me,leave me alone",
But no no no it does not go!
No,it just get closer and closer,
Whispering in my ear louder and louder!
Why won't you just leave me alone!
You expect me to be genius that I am not
This problem solver at a moments notice
Trying to compare me to them
Well I am not them,I am me
I am not this Almighty smart being
I do not have wings, soaring high above the skies
No,I run in the woods,attempting to hide from judgmental words
I run in the wind,across the seas, burning the words to ashes as I pass them by
Laughing yet crying because I have become exhausted from the nonstop comparisons
No matter where I go they seem to find me
Dancing around my head taunting me
I will never be free
Why won't you just let me be
Why must you hold me in these handcuffs trying to bend me to your will
Conditioning me until I forget who I am
Why...?
Don't you see I will never be like them
I can never be like them
Though I wish I could
I must find my own way
Whatever way that may be,
I'll find it and just be me

No, I don't think you understand how rare it is for me to like you

To just find you attractive because that is fairly common for me

But actually like you like you

Because those are two very different things

Attraction and affection

No, I meant Affection

It should be capitalized

What I mean is

I don't like ALOT of things

Seriously

I’m freaking negative

I am the queen of all pessimism

I don't like:

Bad grammar

When people pronounce words wrong

People who say Pacifically instead of Specifically

Overly optimistic people Example:(Oh your family is in thousands of
dollars of debt your sister just killed herself and your boyfriend just
cheated on you with your mom and you're pregnant with the baby of
the guy who got you drunk and slept with you without your sober permission who happens to have just moved to Asia to escape having to care for you and his baby? Well, you have your health!) –stab-

The number 9 it sounds like it’s on the edge of something. I hate wishy-
washy numbers that don’t go all the way. Resolve to ten already!!!

Movies where there is a completely impossible happy ending thanks to spontaneous magic

Apple juice

Most flowers

Pink (the color)

The Sun

The month of April

Girls who don’t know how to wear pants. Or a shirt. Seriously. Those aren’t shorts. That’s just a belt that ***** at being a belt.

People who try to ****** me

People who freak out at me when I try to ****** them

Mondays

Tuesdays

Wednesdays

Thursdays

Fridays

Saturday­s

Sundays

F!CKING MONDAYS AND TUESDAYS

When people pronounce french words WRONG

PEOPLE who pronounce french words wrong

Reality TV

Holidays that don't even get you a day off from school

Ducks that are yellow. THEY DON’T EXIST the bath toy company is LYING TO YOU

Sticky hands

The color yellow

The color orange

Colors that just seem too… happy. It makes me want to light them on
fire. And impale them.

Obnoxious hair colors

Girls who wear jeans and skirts simultaneously

Overly colorful rainbows

When people talk into your ear and you can feel their warm breath.

Being drenched in water

Character or word limits

Signs

When I get all disappointed because I dreamed someone I hated got hit by lightning and it doesn’t come true

When I wish really REALLY ******* a star but it just doesn’t come true. Then I have to go and fill the grave I had all dug up for them.

Plastic hangers

Man, I HATE plastic hangers

Walking

Running

Standing

Any kind of action that doesn’t include limply lying around

When I look at someone with extreme loathing and they don’t spontaneously combust. It’s very sad.

Raisins

When you THINK it’s a chocolate chip cookie and it turns out to be
raisins. MAIN REASON I HAVE TRUST ISSUES!

But, I do like you.

That’s saying something.

I LIKE YOU.

Really.

Honest.

But you don’t realize how rare that is.

:P

…God, I’m so violent. I should have that looked at...

Well, there's your positivity for the day

Poetry is the voice chattering in my head...
Never lets up... It is the voice for when I'm afraid...
Conjured up from deep looping thoughts...
Vented out through written words when the voice could not.
Necessity forged by the mind and heart.
Feelings and emotions that the core wouldn't carelessly discard.
Poetry is an outlet of sorts, tentatively I can afford.
In this realm, the pen be my sword.
Poetry is everything... Beauty spanning multiple universes...
All we do is try to have it harnessed and channelled into individual artful verses...


An outlet, escape, my hole in the wall,
where I can hide from the Hell in my heart.
You're learning to walk, I'm just trying to crawl
beneath the flak; as it once tore me apart.
I've got my demons, how about you?
Faceless legions strung through my soul;
with ink and paper, they often bleed through
From lines and verses, I regain some control.
So, if you're asking me what poetry means
I won't say much, but I'll show you my scars.
Words and rhymes slash stitches and seams,
but in my unraveling, I see shooting stars.


My escape from the world
A distraction from myself
Instead of a mark on my body
I place a mark upon paper
I watch the ink flow from the pen
Happy that it's black
And not red
It bleeds into the crinkled paper
Mapping out the story
The story of my life so far
I don't think
I just write
Emptying my mind
My messed up mind
But the mess will never truly be gone
Just temporary relief
This is my relief


Poetry doesn't mean something,
Poetry is telling somebody who knows the truth, a lie and making them believe you anyways.


The air I breathe, the life I lead, everything I believe, poetry
The truest, permanent written form, at its finest
Even if it doesn't rhyme, every word is still the dearest
It's my relief from anxiety, my calm when I'm panicking
It's a sight for sore eyes when I wake up with a hangover and a headache
The only way I can express myself, show my deepest heartache
The only happiness I have when I'm depressed, my only friend when I'm lonely
My poetry and yours, day in and day out, is like oxygen to me
I can't breathe without poetry


A poet sees rivers where veins
run, caged birds where hearts
beat against ribs, stellar explo-
sions in place of emotion.
To be a poet means to breathe
through your eyes, to find life
in the weeds suffocating your
lungs, to build an ocean
of metaphors and memories,
never knowing which is which.


Poetry is art in itself
It is our passion that is slowly dying out throughout humanity
Because humanity is slowly forgetting what makes us human
What we survive on and die for everyday
But not us poets...
Our poetry is the chain to what we are
What we fought for all these years
What we die for trying to protect
For poetry is our mortality
Poetry is our life.