My mind taunts me,
with memories of once was,
a love song I once knew,
that ended in heartbreak
and heartache,
two souls too kind to let go,
too foolish yet they know,
every second with each other,
without a lover,
hurts.

My memories stab me,
with pictures of what once was,
a painting we once drew,
that depicted heartbreak,
in its purest form,
of bliss,
a time that I still miss,
the time that we both missed,
yet we knew what we both wanted,
believing it was all enough,
every second I spend regretting,
bleeds.

My dreams torture me,
with ideas of what could've been,
a story we once wrote,
that ended in date nights,
and wedding vows,
a story of love and lust,
a story unfinished,
a story blemished,
by the realities of the world we created,
we are happy,
together in a place,
a place that never existed,
and that,
kills.

Lantern through the mist,
lets me see the man at the foot of the bridge,
little to no effort to stop me,
for all who cross,
know the danger,
the price,
or simply have no choice,
under the lantern,
I stand next to the man,
who reeks of sad retribution,
and speaks of imprisoning freedom,
I take a step forward,
forward with no conviction,
so I go back,
with newfound respect,
fear and envy,
for those who crossed before me.

What do I see,
in the clear mirrored,
a shattered image,
not a reflection of who I am,
a mask,
weaved from the lies of a scared child,
a poor shield from judgement,
the mouth twisted into an infinite smile

Tears streaming down,
her hands tracing them down to my neck,
fear,
my mistress,
it seems you ended my torment,
after an eternity,
however the chains of my past still bind me,
to you,
she traces my jawline,
a knife,
that I now wield,
The mask shatters.

What do we see,
a lone child,
scared and misguided,
blade in hand,
defiles God's temple,
out of hate for himself,
loved by some,
who are blinded by love,
respected by others,
who can't see past the mask,
hurt all who believed his truths,
an evil thing love is,
worthless to all who believe his lies.

The boy longs to cry,
tears flow no longer,
the boy longs to bleed,
until blood flows no longer,
he should die,
we should all perish,
for the sins of a dreamer,
can never be atoned for,
for even now,
I love you.

My old friend,
the omniscient moon,
do you still chase the Sun?
you should settle for the stars,
they sing to you,
if you cannot see,
I selfishly ask,
guide me on the path,
to the treasure I seek,
that hates you so.

It's my only friend,
when the others leave,
I never sleep,
for the water never ends,
My friend is crying,
So I try and clean his eternal sorrow,
I sit and listen,
There is no other way,
No other place,
but here,
by the river.

Even when I'm lost,
I come back here,
to these pages,

I tell them about you; my love,
about me; my lust,
write down my thoughts; my loss,

so even when I'm gone,
you can always,
find me in these pages,

hear my cries; my tears,
share my lies; my fears,
feel my love; my dear.

This melody; these lyrics,
I know them word for word,
from a love-time ago,
for it tells a story of you and me,
not through words,
or melodies,
but through memories,
beautiful in of themselves,
but poison me with painful nostalgia,
I hate these songs,
they smell like you,
make me think of you,
deleting them from my playlist,
was the first step towards,
making new memories,
and singing new songs,
without you.

The noise of the river,
tells tales of love,
he says it's fake,
like all things of the heart,
but there is truth in his lies,
and lies reveal the truth,
he hurt those he loves,
love is a beautiful thing,
but is death's disciple,
he thanks her for the feelings,
and the memories,
but hates her,
for they are only memories.

The noise of the river,
tells stories of lust,
he says it is a welcome enemy,
for it tempts him,
lust is of love but love is whole without it,
the stories are accounts of dreams,
for lust does not love him,
not anymore,
he is chasing after her,
looking to atone for his war crimes,
in the battle of love,
his hidden wounds **** him slowly,
he dreams a happy nightmare.

The noise of the river,
preaches about salvation,
his says his old friend awaits him,
loves master,
he wishes to see me too,
he gives an account,
of our beautiful evil that awaits,
I stand up,
my distorted reflection,
portrays me clearly,
but not at all,
I smile,
                           pure
a low life does not deserve this,
**** it all
as I shake his hand
and plunge into the river.

The feel of the river,
reveals true sorrow,
I envy the river,
for he has a plan,
had a purpose,
I failed,
so they all left,
they are upstream,
smiling,
I wish to take their smiles away,
as I let the river take me,
I lost my way,
the river is all I know,
he will help me achieve my dream,
of unleashing beautiful carnage.

The noise of the river,
and myself,
we are one,
                                        we always were,
I understand you now,
my friend,
you taught me about hate,
this world is just to spite you,
I hate it too,
you hate me now,
because we share a conscience,
not for long,
now I am the welcome enemy,
the river still flows,
with all its trash.

Insecurities show our true nature,
I showed you who I am,
hand you a blade,
                                               my trust,
too many people have abused,
you too?
                           Stab me in my heart.
Help me.
                   I still breathe.

I say I'm trying,
more like hoping I'll be ok,
I know I'm trying,
lying in everything I say,
I promise I'm trying,
end up thinking about you every day,
I swear I'm trying,
to **** myself every night.

I felt no longer,
cried out no more,
I hide my cuts from the world
I bleed internally.
The cuts got deeper
I pushed it myself
I hide them from myself
there are no scars
for my wounds never healed
I bleed eternally.

If death is what you desire,
I'd happily grant that wish,
a multitude of tools I could list,
noose, knife or fire,
You could have your pick.

If you have the conviction,
tired of your earthly woes,
let go of all your worldly holds,
I must ask
If there's truly no convincing,
why do you still wish for someone to hold?

You can sink deeper,
deeper in my mind,
as you drown in my thoughts,
drown in this thought,
hold your breath,
follow the signs,
follow the sounds,
you'll hear your name a lot.

I can imprison you,
have you in my heart,
am I the prisoner?
bathe in my love,
lips say I love you,
out loud,
heart says I need you,
need you around.