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1.2k · Mar 16
The River Boy
It's my only friend,
when the others leave,
I never sleep,
for the water never ends,
My friend is crying,
So I try and clean his eternal sorrow,
I sit and listen,
There is no other way,
No other place,
but here,
by the river.
Part 1. The only one I could turn to when it was just me.
925 · May 5
These Pages
Even when I'm lost,
I come back here,
to these pages,

I tell them about you; my love,
about me; my lust,
write down my thoughts; my loss,

so even when I'm gone,
you can always,
find me in these pages,

hear my cries; my tears,
share my lies; my fears,
feel my love; my dear.
I live through my poetry.
Went for a walk with the love of my life,
dreaming,
thinking,
of all the wasted time,
coping,
loving,
we laugh but eventually cry,
regretting,
forgetting,
what it's really like,
losing,
hoping.
711 · May 5
Silence deafens me
Hey,
what's up,
it's not the same,
this way,
I can read what you're saying,
I can hear what you're saying,
but I can't hear you at all,
the look in your eyes is silent,
the pain in your voice is silent,
your laugh is silent,
I can't love in silence,
I cry when I realize that,
I may not hear you again.
I hate texting
564 · Mar 16
The Many Faces of a Liar
What do I see,
in the clear mirrored,
a shattered image,
not a reflection of who I am,
a mask,
weaved from the lies of a scared child,
a poor shield from judgement,
the mouth twisted into an infinite smile

Tears streaming down,
her hands tracing them down to my neck,
fear,
my mistress,
it seems you ended my torment,
after an eternity,
however the chains of my past still bind me,
to you,
she traces my jawline,
a knife,
that I now wield,
The mask shatters.

What do we see,
a lone child,
scared and misguided,
blade in hand,
defiles God's temple,
out of hate for himself,
loved by some,
who are blinded by love,
respected by others,
who can't see past the mask,
hurt all who believed his truths,
an evil thing love is,
worthless to all who believe his lies.

The boy longs to cry,
tears flow no longer,
the boy longs to bleed,
until blood flows no longer,
he should die,
we should all perish,
for the sins of a dreamer,
can never be atoned for,
for even now,
I love you.
Part 2 of 'A Lover's Insecurities'. Was I showing them who I wanted to be or who I really am?
This melody; these lyrics,
I know them word for word,
from a love-time ago,
for it tells a story of you and me,
not through words,
or melodies,
but through memories,
beautiful in of themselves,
but poison me with painful nostalgia,
I hate these songs,
they smell like you,
make me think of you,
deleting them from my playlist,
was the first step towards,
making new memories,
and singing new songs,
without you.
Music can bring memories of happiness and pain
472 · Apr 29
Equivalent Exchange
A single tear,
a million cries,
a million fears,
produces a single sigh,
one cut,
leads to a million stitches.
Reopening old wounds.
469 · Mar 15
Love is a Drought
How can I love you?;
                                       Teach me.
But I leave you;
                            im back.
                    Now
In the water,
you are  swimming with me,
                                                    where?
Dr­owning beneath the waves;
                                                        I beg
                              Water
I am dying from thirst.
We were together but you were never mine
462 · Apr 7
Fields of Solitude
Alone he sits,
in the field,
waiting for the birds to migrate,
from an eternal winter,
he hears their song no longer,
except when she smiles,
only when she's around,
does the sun fulfill its duties,
warms him,
for he is cold from the rain.
I'm alone.
459 · Apr 16
Suffering in silence
The field was all he'd known
admiring the flowers
the butterflies
the snakes
they poisoned the field
the snakes.

The river is all he knows
Listening to the hum
of the river's flow
the trash
it polluted the river
the trash.

The field is all he needs
longing for the rich harvest
Of knowledge
the snakes
do not scare him
the snakes.

The river is the one in pain
the fish mourn
their home is dying
the river
it must be cleansed
my river.
The boy of the field and river.
417 · Mar 16
The Moon's Sorrow
My old friend,
the omniscient moon,
do you still chase the Sun?
you should settle for the stars,
they sing to you,
if you cannot see,
I selfishly ask,
guide me on the path,
to the treasure I seek,
that hates you so.
Thank you my friend but it's my turn to tell you it's time to move on from her.
371 · Apr 17
A Guide's Lullaby
Oh, my fair lady,
what a surprise,
the angel of thought,
may meet her demise,
love is her savior,
love is her crutch,
love is the one,
that's broken her trust,
will he betray you,
how will you know,
love is a cruel mistress,
beautiful though.
My love is a road that I do not advise you to follow.
The noise of the river,
tells tales of love,
he says it's fake,
like all things of the heart,
but there is truth in his lies,
and lies reveal the truth,
he hurt those he loves,
love is a beautiful thing,
but is death's disciple,
he thanks her for the feelings,
and the memories,
but hates her,
for they are only memories.

The noise of the river,
tells stories of lust,
he says it is a welcome enemy,
for it tempts him,
lust is of love but love is whole without it,
the stories are accounts of dreams,
for lust does not love him,
not anymore,
he is chasing after her,
looking to atone for his war crimes,
in the battle of love,
his hidden wounds **** him slowly,
he dreams a happy nightmare.

The noise of the river,
preaches about salvation,
his says his old friend awaits him,
loves master,
he wishes to see me too,
he gives an account,
of our beautiful evil that awaits,
I stand up,
my distorted reflection,
portrays me clearly,
but not at all,
I smile,
                           pure
a low life does not deserve this,
**** it all
as I shake his hand
and plunge into the river.

The feel of the river,
reveals true sorrow,
I envy the river,
for he has a plan,
had a purpose,
I failed,
so they all left,
they are upstream,
smiling,
I wish to take their smiles away,
as I let the river take me,
I lost my way,
the river is all I know,
he will help me achieve my dream,
of unleashing beautiful carnage.

The noise of the river,
and myself,
we are one,
                                        we always were,
I understand you now,
my friend,
you taught me about hate,
this world is just to spite you,
I hate it too,
you hate me now,
because we share a conscience,
not for long,
now I am the welcome enemy,
the river still flows,
with all its trash.
Part 2 of 'The River Boy'. He was the only one left and he gave me a tempting offer. I could've taken. I didn't. Was  wrong?
345 · Apr 16
A Guide's Tale
Oh, my fair lady,
I think you must know,
The path you will take,
will cause you much woe.

Oh, my fair lady,
don't go with him,
maybe just maybe,
he still loves her within.

Oh, my fair lady,
he did not see your worth,
he will come back,
as you were his first.

Oh, my fair lady,
beware of a man,
you may be so lonely,
confide in your friends.

Oh, my fair lady,
he may be the one,
he's taken you places,
you've never gone.

Oh, my fair lady,
prophecy fulfilled,
he confessed his feelings,
are you so weak-willed?

Oh, my fair lady,
you feel betrayed,
this is how stories,
of unfaithfulness are made.

Oh, my fair lady,
he offers his help,
maybe you  love him,
the feelings you felt.

Oh, my fair lady,
he's lead you astray,
seems like this time,
he came to stay.

Oh, my fair lady,
angel of his thoughts,
I pray he won't hurt you,
hope you have a plan,
one that's well thought.

Oh, my fair lady,
I think he loves you more,
you both are not the same,
as who you were before.

Thank you, my love,
I wish you were mine,
my heart longs for you,
alas, there's no time.
Everything comes full circle.
336 · Jul 20
Distance
Will it weigh on your mind,
will it weigh on mine,
what happens when unfaithfulness goes unpunished,
it happens when you love from a distance,
couple that with time,
do feelings remain?
probably will fade,
you'll love another,
forget about me,
don't lie,
I've seen it happen,
multiple times.
It breeds uncertainty
323 · May 2
Pages
No one knows me,
like the pages of this book,
the tears that fell,
the tears that wanted to fall,
the meaning,
the feelings,
in each letter,
the intent,
in every word,
the surprise,
in the end,
good and bad,
poetry,
is my escape form life without pages,
because I don't know when my story will end.
Poetry, my friend
They are around me,
Their love surrounds me,
I know this,
I loathe this,
I can see them,
clearly,
at night I can not feel them,
clearly,
when I live in fear,
of myself,
when my thoughts make me shed tears,
for myself,
I feel like,
I wonder,
I wish,
I hope,
I am truly alone.
I wish no one would miss me when I am gone.
288 · Mar 17
Drapetomania
They all hate me,
                                     fear of the unknown,
She'll hate me,
                                      wait,
She hates me,
                                     Love,
She'll leave me,
                             ,         ask
She doesn't need me,
                                        You need her,
They don't need me,
                                       make them need you,
I should go,
                       Stay

FOR THEIR SAKE

I thought they loved me,
                                           fake,
I think she loves me,
                                            think back,
I thought she loved me,
                                            infatuation
She said she'll never leave me,
                                                        LIES
­I need her,
                                             SHE DOESN'T NEED YOU
they WANTED me,
                                                             ­     NOT ANYMORE
You said I should stay,
                                                           ­                  We were wrong

You should go,
                                        FOR OUR SAKE.
Conversations with myself. The ones that make me hope. The ones that make me want to die.
287 · Jul 20
My Reasons
What is it about sad poems,
or poems about love,
which are often melancholic,
that I love so much,
well for a non-alcoholic,
I need an escape,
cause I sin,
and I bleed,
and it's always my fault,
but when I'm writing,
my pen bleeds,
and these lines don't judge,
the page has no choice,
but to love me,
why would I come here when I'm happy,
no need to comfort someone with a smile.
Why I write
284 · May 5
You'll hear your name
You can sink deeper,
deeper in my mind,
as you drown in my thoughts,
drown in this thought,
hold your breath,
follow the signs,
follow the sounds,
you'll hear your name a lot.

I can imprison you,
have you in my heart,
am I the prisoner?
bathe in my love,
lips say I love you,
out loud,
heart says I need you,
need you around.
Just look around
272 · Mar 16
A Lover's Insecurities
What do you see?
when you look at me,
is it the same as what you say?
Tell me what you saw,
that made you love me,
or not,
Tell me,
girl of my dreams,
maybe it was true after all

What do they see,
when they look at me,
I wish I could hear what they said,
I just know it's not the same as hers,
I hear no love in their voices,
love,
is the difference,
they are blinded by the evil,
but what is shrouded in mystery,
born from fear,
shall stay hidden,
I wish I knew what they saw,
It may be true after all.
Part 1. I always wonder what people really think of me. Is it the same as who they say I am. Am I who they think I am?
262 · Apr 7
Questions for the Moon
Why do you love the dark?
and run from the sun,
it does not make you shine any less.

I wish you were a full moon,
can I see all of you?
So that I can show you all of my love.

Why do you say I shouldn't wait,
You always come back,
in pursuit of the sun,
I wonder,
when will I be your sun again,
you promised,
it will be night again,
I can bask in your light once more,
when no one is around,
and the rain makes me feel,
show me your blood,
show me your love,
it's all the same,
you shine,
whether you acknowledge the sun or not.
Wrote this for my ex she always wondered why I hated myself so much so this is from her pov how I see it.
251 · Mar 16
Isn't that what Love is
A double-edged sword,
so pure,
jealous
and evil,
meant to comfort all that wield it,
All bow to it,
all long for it,
all perish in its wake.
Love is a weapon
218 · Mar 18
An Angel's Smile
To the one that disturbs my peace,
the angel of my thoughts,
your smile a constant reminder,
of our brief infidelity,
it was enough to fall in love,
unknowingly,
it pulled me back,
after I hurt you,
I came back,
After he killed you,
I'll save you,
if you let me,
I warn you,
of nothing at all,
I hope,
you are ok,
I'll wait,
I know you love me too,
I wonder what you see,
because
I am not him,
or them,
or us,
or me,
I will show you my truths,
that's what my love is.
I came back to you like I always do, my love.
214 · May 5
Lost in thought
She lives in my daydreams,
stealing me from reality,
from the one that looks like her,
that is her.
All I think about is being with  her
195 · Jul 20
Our Flame has Died
What did we talk about,
before,
before you forget me I need to know,
know,
know you want him though it's none of my,
concern,
concerned bout how you're doing,
though,
I know you're more than ok and that,
hurts,
hurt by the things that I told myself about,
you,
you're the same girl I've always known but we're,
distant,
distant in the sense that I'm running out of topics to start a conversation with,
you,
you and I used to flow,
where has our river gone?
Sometimes you think you've moved on.
The day I met you,
was the beginning,
of my endless dream about you,
where the taste of your lips,
is magical,
and your beauty,
the result of wonderful imagination,
is this a dream,
this is a dream,
or a nightmare,
since i still lose you in the end,
lose you once again.
Im back : )
171 · Aug 1
Our World
I fell in love with her,
cause I got lost in her world,
that she creates with all of her words
and everything she writes,
so when I look into her eyes,
realize that she must be mine,
A future with her,
A future with more,
maybe house with three living there for free.
The life we envisioned
151 · Jul 20
Symptoms
An old mind,
from thinking,
tired eyes,
from crying,
a bleached heart,
from trying,
all the symptoms of a lover.
Been diagnosed with being a lovesick hopeless romantic.
Dreams,
where I reside,
that's the only place I can love you,
It seems,
that sleep wants me no longer,
So I turn to eternal slumber.

Thoughts are blue.

Dreams,
that I despise,
they were nothing but lies,
I lost you when I found you,
My realizations are always late enough to hurt me.

Thoughts are red.

Dreams,
that I envy.
Someone had you first
he will have you last.
How long would I have occupied your heart?
I had you there and now,
but you were never mine.

Thoughts are green.

Dreams,
that I flee.
A world that I don't see you again,
you perish; I follow suit,
The reaper smiles,
Love is a cruel agent of death.

Thoughts are purple

Dreams,
where I am truly alone.
I long for you,
and her.
My heart the only Sun,
in this eternal blizzard
our failed love,
It burns until it turns to ice.

Thoughts are grey.

Dreams,
where I am truly at peace.
troubled by the sins of my past
in the future
I hope you'll move on
I hope you find out why

My thoughts betray me.

Dreams,
I'll see you soon.
My one true love,
I write this to you.
I stayed up for our doomed infatuation,
my eyes fail me now.
I'll miss you,
Girl of my dreams.
As I rest my head
on my pillow of broken promises
The reaper masked as the sandman
fulfills my dreams
of peaceful anarchy.

My thoughts are blank.
One of the first poems I have written and one of my longer ones. Thought it'd be a nice introduction to many of the themes I tend to explore in my writing. I love criticism and a thumbs up are appreciated if deserved of course.
I felt no longer,
cried out no more,
I hide my cuts from the world
I bleed internally.
The cuts got deeper
I pushed it myself
I hide them from myself
there are no scars
for my wounds never healed
I bleed eternally.
Sorry if you can relate
47 · Aug 1
Descent
I've Burned
I've Drowned
I've fallen to a place
where there's no sound,
no light,
explored the ruins of my loves,
leading me to wallow in the darkness of regret.
46 · Aug 1
A Gift is a Burden
We all yearn for talent,
but the burden of potential is great,
the expectations of those around you,
can take you higher,
or drag you down,
so far that doubt takes over,
a beautifully cruel mistress,
poisoning you,
but it is the expectation you have,
of yourself,
that is fatal,
in my case,
if I don't make it,
I choose to die.
Expectations are my biggest enemy tbh
44 · Aug 1
The Bridge
Lantern through the mist,
lets me see the man at the foot of the bridge,
little to no effort to stop me,
for all who cross,
know the danger,
the price,
or simply have no choice,
under the lantern,
I stand next to the man,
who reeks of sad retribution,
and speaks of imprisoning freedom,
I take a step forward,
forward with no conviction,
so I go back,
with newfound respect,
fear and envy,
for those who crossed before me.
Wrote this poem after a suicide attempt and realized that I actually wanted to live. Sometimes just wait a little while, a little longer.
40 · Mar 15
The True Nature of Man
Insecurities show our true nature,
I showed you who I am,
hand you a blade,
                                               my trust,
too many people have abused,
you too?
                           Stab me in my heart.
Help me.
                   I still breathe.
40 · Aug 1
Road Trip to Hell
A silent drive,
s i l e n t,
lights blind me,
before darkness finds me,
no one in the passenger's seat,
not a soul in the back,
only things for company,
are the skeletons in my trunk,
on this long road trip,
we dreamed about,
it's a long,
long drive of despair.
That trip we always talked about.
If death is what you desire,
I'd happily grant that wish,
a multitude of tools I could list,
noose, knife or fire,
You could have your pick.

If you have the conviction,
tired of your earthly woes,
let go of all your worldly holds,
I must ask
If there's truly no convincing,
why do you still wish for someone to hold?
34 · May 2
A love I once knew
Your pain and kindness,
is a love I once knew,
the taste of your lips,
is something I never knew,
the kissing and touching,
is something new,
but not to me,
or you.
I missed you, I'm back now
32 · Aug 1
Forgotten Lover
What if we met again,
faceless and nameless,
strangers to everything but our words,
would you look at me the same way,
with the same eyes,
would we find ourselves again
would we love,
once more.
Or would we be too far to reach

— The End —