Breathe in.
Pause.
Hold in the air that makes you stronger.
Pause.
Exhale all the worries you trap deep down in your soul where no one ever sees.
Close your eyes and stay still.
Float within your own consciousness.
You are one with who your want to be,
And when you open your eyes, I hope you wake to a new reality.


When You have sadness in your heart i know because I can feel it sleeping out your pores.
You act like you’re invincible,
But hiding from how you feel won’t change how you feel.
It won’t make you anew
You must come to terms with who you are in order to continue.
You need to communicate all that you want to be to yourself.
You are capable of so much more.
I pray that we find peace.

I’m defeated.
Insomnia wraps its hold on me, making sure I’m aware of just how trapping its grasp is.
This is another continuous replay of how I live in the home in my mind.
I want to evict, run for the hill but like the hideous demons that slave me,
my thoughts are one of them.  
I knew it was wrong.
I wanted to stop, look away, go back.
I wanted to do anything but what I’m doing right now.
I’m not.
I am doing this.
no, I did this.
moments pass feeling more and more like years looped around.
there is a sensory overload, then silence.
however, I open my eyes and all I hear now is screams.
tears drop.
I internally feel the battle repeating.
two tears drop, three tears drop,
the screams cease to stop.
the screams are mine.
I gasp for air in what feels like centuries later hoping what I did, what happed was a dream.
it wasn't.
it was all just too surreal.

We we talk, I do it softly.  
I don’t want to say something to upset you.
Sometimes, I feel like there’s a countdown to when I’m going to mess up next, and ruin it forever.

Will you keep me around?

I’m Like a pan of hot water;
You can’t get close until I cool.
But will I ever?
What if I’m stuck like this?
Burning and branding the people I love,
I don’t want that.
What if I boil over
And all my feelings bubble out,
spilling secret truths all over the tile floors?