You'll never be her

She was my first. She was my first date, my first love, the first one I wanted to build a home and have a family with.

Her face was the first to meet my family. Heck, she became part of our family. She was the first girl my mother loved for me.

She too was my first heartbreak; the first one to build me up and break me down. Her knowledge of me was the same as my knowledge of myself.

But she too will never be you.

She'll never be the one who picked me up when I thought I was never going to get back up.

No matter what she does, she'll never be able to love me as much as you do. She'll never know me more than I know myself like you do. She could never make me realize that I'm worth more than I think I am. She could never make me feel any happier and more contented like you could.

My love, know that you should never compare yourself to my past. There's a reason why she's there and you're here with me right now. The reason is because you are the one I love.

You are a gift from above. You are my present. Everyday I pray that you remain my present when tomorrow comes, and God knows I would do anything to keep you.

So do not bother yourself about it. Shed your worries away, for as much as you'll never be her, she will never be you.

Don't wait for me
In broken dreams
Of dying stars
With crying eyes
You will never wake

So void of feeling
Maybe I should go for a drive
Yes, you know me
& you know that I am not alive
I am machine dream overload

Too many waves
Too much commotion
Too many thoughts
And too much emotion
Back and forth, up and down
The world is rocking, I think I'll drown
I'm losing touch, I can't commit
I can't help it, I'm sea sick.

Too many people
Not enough air
I'm a prisoner
Tied to this chair
Too fast, too slow, side to side
No privacy on this stifling ride
I'm losing my mind bit by bit
I can't help it, I'm car sick

Slow me down, silence the storm
Its 40 below yet I'm still too warm
Too much chaos I can't breathe
I retreat inside, cuz I can't leave
Shattered glass, bottled up tight
Too scared to quit, too tired to fight
Im losing this battle, I've lost my way
I'll lose my life, if I delay
This fear inside is swallowing me whole
Will I ever calm my tormented soul?

Was I aware of it at first?
The heavy baggage that it carried..?
Feeling of exile, its sinister smile glaring; mocking me so
A disruption of my tranquilly-
Catastrophic ghosts concealed their true demeanor
Not one word of concern ever wept my little way

An interval of time permitted itself to be of un-importance
Immune to flaws-
Yet imperfection quivered in its path
Bewildering at it was, I never did notice its power; its strength

In its pity and sorrow, I was caged
Wandered around aimlessly, only to crash constantly
Refuse to understand; deny all its signs
I believed that I was formidable, courageous-
but it was only a **TORTUROUS MASK of ONE