Don't call me a fool
just because I don't fit your bill.
I am made of mistakes
and ugly laughter.
I am a before,
a right now,
and a happy little after.

I am gritted teeth
and burnt roast beef
and tired eyes
and skinny lies
and bloated bellies
and tiny tellies.

I am shattered hearts
and missing parts
and miniskirts
and false new starts.

I am that one channel
your parents don't let you watch,
or a giant, messy void
called a black ink splotch.
I am peer pressure,
irresponsibility,
and midnight crises
pushed into a fleshbag
to walk around the world.

Don't control my life
just because you can't control
your own.
I have my own place in this world-
-a place called the throne.

You look at me
Like I'm the only girl you see
Your eyes tell me:
I'm the most beautiful creature
But now I see
That could never be
'Cause now you're leaving me
And there's nothing left of me

You took my breath away
And searched my soul;
Told me everything nice
And everything- lies.
You made me believe
Everything you were trying to deceive
But now I see
It was all a make-believe

Now you're letting me go
With nothing left of my soul
You act like it was nothing
While I stand here,
Still not understanding
I hope you're happy
That you had dragged me
Back into reality
Where faith, trust and pixie dust,
Never really existed

You took me for awhile
Into illusions and fantasies
You made me hope for more
I'm sorry
I didn't realize,
that was all

Everyday I grow more and more tired
Tired of living in reality
I fall for my dreams and fantasies

I wonder when I'd live to wake up more
and be happy genuinely right to the core
maybe it's when the memory of me broken gets torn

Do not wait for the morrow
Or better days to come
For once arrived all tomorrow
Will soon be naught and done

Gently comes new sunrise
And nothing wanted achieved
Time like this only flies
And this few believed

Life to all seems sure and long
But time is only just fleeting
To say 'tomorrow' is all wrong
For there's an end to all heart beating

If you want something - do it now
For this day could be your last
In this time you must plow
Or it might just go too fast

So when your day gently does come
Hope all you wanted would be completed
And you're not thinking of what wasn't done,
But rather that you did what was needed

They said, stars shine brighter when they're further away from you.
I guess that's the most logical reason to what we are now.
I'm just a star gazer who can never gaze upon your bright lit up face from such a short distance.

maybe I don't understand
the things that are at hand
but what is your goal?
your personality's as black as coal

I felt it in my gut
that this whole thing was going to rot
you left me standing there
in a place I couldn't bear

but who am I to judge
we're not in a court of justice
I don't have a gavel to declare you guilty
to prove to others such false humility

maybe God is just testing my patience
making me remember all of His faithfulness
my sufferings are yet to end
but my scars remained for God to mend

maybe it's just me
who grew numb to the word "sorry"
which was repeatedly said to me
so many times it's lost its meaning

maybe it's just me
who's having a hard time to forgive
when my patience is broken
my feelings are shattered

it's weird that I don't know
I feel my eyes as they dampen
why do I let these things happen?
I have yet to find an answer

part of me says to stay away
how much does this hurt weigh?
so much pain in one day
but a meaningless sorry can't make it okay

Unwrap me.
Strip me of this vessel.
Shake this bottle,
this container,
until the insides bubble up.
Challenge my everything.
Yell.
Scream.
Cry out your battlecry.
I will do the same,
matching your tone,
copying your voice.
I will do the same
until I can no longer speak.
I will best you
in this contest of screams
until I feel the redness in my cheeks.
I will shake the mountains
with my voice alone.
Every word I say
sets a landmine off,
so let the explosions come.
I have so much more to say.