I know I shouldn't be scared of you
I know I shouldn't double check the locks
on the doors and windows every night
It doesn't do anything
You always find a way in
You slither into my room
Invading my thoughts
You keep my up at night
I used to stay up to keep you away
You used to be afraid of the light
But now you're not afraid of anything
So I'm afraid of everything
I used to be indifferent
Apathetic
But the constant loss of sleep
And the continuos unbearable stress has made me grind my teeth again
My canines are almost flat
And maybe that's why you're not afraid of me anymore
I am no longer a threat
I'm barely a person and you're not helping
Go back to juvie because I can't
Deal won't your drug anymore
You won't let me focus
Stop standing outside my window
I said no
But you didn't listen
And now I've started sleeping with a knife under my pillow again
I wish you would just leave me alone
But you can't and I understand that
So next time you try to **** yourself over me
Let me know so we can talk
You know I don't like you
And I know you think you love me
But you don't know me
No one can love me
Because
There is nothing left to love
You call me beautiul
And that makes me uncomfortable
Because I hate when people lie to me
How can you look at my disfigured soul
And see anything less than
Complete failure
I'm a mess
But I don't want you to clean me up
Because I can't think in a spotless room
I can't find a thing when it's put away
It's like reverse OCD
But you don't understand that
So you stand outside my living room window
Waiting for a glimpse of me
Because I don't answer the door when you knock
You pound on the door like the pounding in my room
From the rocks you throw at my window
Pretty soon it's going to crack
And the I will have to tell people about you
There is a reason I no longer sleep with my shades up
I don't want you to watch me anymore
So please just leave me alone

When i first met you
You brought a spark to my world
A flame it started
Warm, pure, and bright

When i saw your smile
Its like the sun shined as bright as noon
Or the moon, on a clear chilly night
It brought my world to its toes
I learned to laugh and love to the everyday sun you brought me

When i saw your face i saw the most beautiul thing
And thought the most beautiful thoughts
Like a shimmering sunset over the water on the deep blue water at the beach

When i saw you my world became whole
The cracks filled, the darkness fades
All i saw was the sun, shining in my face
Im greatful to have the gifts you bring me.

Im greatful to have the beautiful inspiration
That i can call. You