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i want to cry
the way the sky gets real heavy
when it wants to rain
but despite the darkness
of this frigid winter
i have taken
23 laps around the sun
i am alive
i am alive
i am fine
A bug-like being crawled up your spine,
Its many feet clicking on your bones.
The movement was scarcely perceptible under your barely bulging skin.

The closer he got to your brain, the faster he clicked.
His anticipation was tangible, translated into your erratic acts.
He saw your thoughts, he smelt your love.

He hungered for your sanity,
With huge, dilated, droopy eyes and a salivating mouth.
It held a long sloppy tongue, that left its sizzling slime along his path.

Upon reaching your brain stem he used his sharp incisors
To take a mouthful of your rational. It fed him.
He rejoiced, throwing his head back in malicious laughter.

With new energy, he slithered around your skull
And barged into your frontal cortex.
Your judgement forever altered, now under his command.

His delight was overwhelming. In his pleasure,
He covered your cells in his hot, heavy breath.
It was poison, acting against all remaining sensibility.

As he devoured your corpus callosum, he spawned another head.
This one small and sleek, covered in slime,
With black beady eyes.

The new head drilled to the core of you and reeked havoc
On your amygdala and hippocampus.
You are gone. You no longer remember how to feel.

He is almighty.
The movement of your limbs is no longer your own.
Your words are first conceived in his belly.

He cares about nothing but consumption and destruction.
He is starved for pain, he needs to breathe in the
Cries of those who love you the most.

You can no longer notice the beauty in
Your daughter's smile, rather you smell the tears
Resting in her eyes still so full of adoration.
Lets talk about your demons
And all your past mistakes
I want to know
All the emotional holes
And valleys
You've tried so hard
To forget
I will love your shadows
Like they are light

I will tell you my fears
And how they shake the ground
I will watch you
As you nod and frown
And you will say
You understand
Just wait till they start to infect you
You wont truly know
Till you're broken
I have a habit of being in unhealthy relationships. Even with wonderful people, I tend to destroy myself and them in the process l.
if home is where the heart is,
and you took mine...
then where is home?
see him
again?
been long
since then

one time
a year
he looks
a tear

we say
"goodbye"
my eyes
they cry

lean in
arms strong
moment
has gone
would have been an honor
to have my heart broken by you

yet without being yours
you managed it anyway

how could this happen
loved too hard, too fast.

maybe it's stupidity
maybe I'm naive

a fool with a open heard
is all I claim to be
lots of emotions happening.
Death is a funny thing.
I pictured him large, intimidating,
With a barbed wire tattoo encircling a large bicep.
I expected to find him lurking in the dark,
With the face of a monster.

Instead he showed up in the daylight, unassuming,
Wearing a bow-tie and a shiny smile.
I only later noticed that under his trench coat,
He hid his secret weapon of cell mutation.

He politely knocked on your door and insisted
To come in and sit down for tea.
Sensing your apprehension, he engaged in silly negotiation
To disguise his true determination.

In the end, he gently took your hand
And slowly pulled you away from me.
He got off on the agony that manifested itself
Within my heart and on my face.
His pleasure increased with each inch he dragged you,
Only reaching ecstasy with the final yank,
When I was sure that my children would never know
Your kindness as I had.
Love is a messy business; even in the best situations:
Two people, two hearts, two souls crash together.
In mock protection they fight against each other,
Against the pleasure, against the possibility.
Claws thrash, tearing at tendons until
The blood spatter is no more
Than a pretty trail of desolation.
Hope is cruel liberation from a secure foundation in reality.
I hope.
On the inhale, desire fills my lungs with fairy dust.
On its release, longing shocks me like an intoxicating form of torture.
I hope.
The first time you called me an "*******" we shared a glance
that sent a lightning bolt down my spine.
I hope.
When you plopped down beside me, your tattoo peeked at me from beneath your sleeve.
It read like an invitation addressed only to me.
I had never seen anything more beautiful.
I hope.
When our minds danced, I realized what I had been missing.
The taste of your raspberry lips lingers on mine.
I hope.
Maybe love cannot conquer all, but you have conquered me.
I surrender to my hope.
I hope for "us."
#love #hope #possibility #wishes
Daydreams rescue me from the harshness of the mundane.
I see us on a mountaintop, I feel your hand in mine.
I experience the safety of your embrace and the electricity of your kiss.
I bask in the warmth of your smile and
Let my heart fly away with hope.
I imagine our home, a small cottage overflowing with contentment.
I imagine our bedroom, a soft bed sits between its walls,
Still disheveled from last night's pleasure.
I see your figure in the shower, as I brew coffee in the early morning.
I feel the desire in the goodbye kiss that makes me late for work.
I envision the power of our love.

However, imagination is also brutal torture,
That sometimes runs rampant through my mind.
I feel my heart break in two, as I see you with someone else.
I watch you loving on her in the way I wish you only did to me.
I see her walk away from you, but the pining in your chest remains.
I am convinced that as I lay here dreaming of nothing but you,
You are consumed with thoughts of her.
I imagine your cries of pain are caused by her absence
and I know that I will never be able to fill the cracks she so
mercilessly hammered into your heart.
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