Drink a clock and combine with time
Be once again a work of art
Doesn't it feel so sublime
The world around you falls apart
But you're a timeless interjection
A gear within a counterpart
A ripple in a lake's reflection
A defibrillator to my heart
Your mind is transcendent yet you're here
A physical reminder of the rest
The world is not as it appears
That's why I'll give you all my best

i can't write when i'm sick lonely lost and lovely thinking of you
fading into my sheets for the whole day and the sun was too bright on my face
and i'll eat donuts until the flu decides to say goodbye, farewell
and i'll choke up powdered sugar dancing on the stairwell
singing songs about loving you
i don't think i needed to say it
i think you already knew
a portrait of your mother behind my swollen eyes
does she know we spent the night living between each others thighs
we walk with bottles between our fingers
dipping our toes in cold water
the bridge lights up, the reflection is its daughter

The motherly figure
Locked away in fumes
Smelling of skunk
The green smoke taking her away
To anywhere but here

The man of the house
Glass after glass
Of wine
*****
Beer
Even Listerine
If that is what it took
To get even a slight buzz

I sit alone
Adding another mark to the tally
Behind the mirror
Only a few more
Before it is accepted
For my life to end

The youngest
Unaware of all of the despair
In her family
The only one
Who truly smiles
In our family portrait

What is a family room, anyway?
Repetition, resulting from daily life.
Tedium bringing us together
Like household traditions;

Family prayers around a broken table,
Hollow conversations buzzing like Tv static,
White noise in the background.

The family room is purgatory.

Mundane talk of petty lives
During commercial breaks.
When interaction is obligatory,
What distinguishes us from the furniture?

Gathering dust as we sit
Merely existing together,
We are the portrait on the wall;
Artificial.

go to the doctor
keep weights in your pocket

don't forget to eat
change topic

"i'm not hungry"
eat

"i ate earlier"
don't forget to eat

IF THIS BODY
WEREN'T MINE
WOULD I STILL
HATE IT?

it's the hardest thing in the world,
watching you fade.
I'm waiting until you become dust
all for a more prominent ribcage
and to be able to cut diamonds
with your collarbones.

it's the hardest thing in the world,
watching you cry
in front of your reflection.
your pain is never beautiful
but your soul always will be.
you always were.

it's the hardest thing in the world,
watching you die.
you were always so fragile,
so delicate. I fear you might snap
when I try to hug you close,
with your bones digging into my arms.

it's the hardest thing in the world,
watching you fight.
although, it's not so much of a fight
when you're too tired to
and the winner is guaranteed
and you never wanted to win anyway.

there are some who want a thinner waist
and others who just don't like the taste
of food they feel they do not deserve

some eat cake with their eyes
while others are busy planning their demise
one wants to see bones, another, headstones

one could love themselves if they were just 40 pounds thinner
"maybe i'll love myself if i just skip dinner"
the other has no appetite, a battle with calories she does not fight

a battle, rather, with herself
to **** herself or stay in living hell
too preoccupied to care what is on the pantry shelf

there are some who want a thinner waist
and others who just don't like the taste
of food they feel they do not deserve

I know we've gone our separate ways
But every now and then I still think
Of you, us, and our time together
Then I go through your pictures
And see how well you've been
I still stalk you because i care
I miss you and can't say so
I wish I hadn't let you go
Now we barely speak
I still care about you
But I can't tell you