If I could express
In the most eloquent way
The need I suppress
To hate you every day

The Simple Alignment
Of pen on paper
A simple consignment
Of words to vapour

My god, the darkness that broils behind this grin
The dark resentment, every present within

But I digress
I smile and whittle away
Accepting the stress
That comes with every day
No matter the anger
That singes me like a lit cigar
No matter the danger
Of that burning to my heart

I smile, grin and bear it so to say
Till one day I snap, and throw it all away
Toss it to the wind, that cold bitter grey
Till its whipping envelops me
Its pressure that of an endless sea
Until the earth connects, and I cease to be
God have mercy, set me free

Communication is the key
but my hands are shaking
as I start the ignition

-h.w.

A letter to my Tourettes

Dear Tourettes Syndrome;

I was diagnosed with you as a child.
I would try to hide you, but it failed.
You bruised my wrists and shoulders,
You made my palms red.
You caused me pain.

Kids would point and laugh, because they didn't understand,
You were the cause of my bullying.
How could you do this to me?
I didn't choose nor want you,
But I learned to deal with you.

You expected to be loved.
But I don't know how I feel.
Maybe I love you,
Or maybe I HATE YOU.
You hurt me physically and emotionally,
How could I love you?

It's funny through all the pain,
You stayed.
It's not your fault,
I was made and you were just another part of me.

I was ashamed of you,
You were a disgrace.
But as I said you are a part of me.
And I have accepted you,
Although I don't always like you,
I'm proud of you.
Despite the pain,
I want you to stay forever.

- StefC

My heart is breaking
Piece by piece
It's not just a metaphore
Not anymore

I feel it in my chest
Right in my heart
These pangs of pain
You said it's for the best

But how can you decide
What's right for me

I can't let you be

But I'll give you that space
If you could just look at my face

I'm sorry I tried to understand
I went too far
Into those walls built from scars

The tears run down my face
There is no light in this place
You are the sun
But you always run

I'll let it go
If I could just have
Things as they were

Not a fabricated distance
That is only another wall

Please look at me
The way you used to
I miss seeing your face

Your sincere smile
I cannot erase
But I fear
I made it disappear

Publishers love jello
cool, gleaming, white hot jello
one morning i imagined that i was
writing in filth
the snow was the earth
the earth was jello.

deep.
milk.
fire.
silhouette.

down be die
down be die,
how slowly i dream
how fast i create

rapid feet
less armour
less clay.