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9.7k · Dec 2019
Last Christmas
brinn Dec 2019
the cold air
can be seen
every time
we take a breath

my tears sting
as they race
down my cheeks
to soak into my scarf

my hand has
gone numb
and no longer had
yours to hold

Christmas music plays
jingling merrily
as my heart
shatters to the beat.

the words
dancing off your lips
hanging in the air
as if they were mistletoe

”i’m sorry”
i watch as you turn your back
and walk away
for the last time.
2.6k · Jan 2020
seashell
brinn Jan 2020
your smile
reminds me of seashell.

it’s pretty
beautiful, actually.
you may think
it looks like every other seashell  
but it doesn’t.
your seashell is special.

i want to keep it
all to myself.
but i know it’s selfish to
find a beautiful seashell
and take it, keeping it
locked up on a shelf.

it makes me feel
like i’m home.
that seashell reminds
me of all the times
i’ve spent in the place
i love the most.

but when you look
inside
it’s completely hollow.
there’s nothing behind
that seashell.
it’s sad just how empty it is.
879 · Dec 2018
last christmas
brinn Dec 2018
last christmas
we stood around the tree
and laughed and opened presents.
i didn't realize last christmas would be the last.
the last time we would sit in that house and eat and watch movies.
the last time we would smile at each other while
not worrying about our problems
for just that one day.
the last time
we would be a family.
the last time i would be happy.
the last time that we would all be happy.
if i had realized last christmas would be the last, i'd savor every
moment. every laugh, every bite, every
movie, every smile. i would
relive that day forever;
last christmas.
669 · Feb 2023
sunset
brinn Feb 2023
and so you decided
to drive down to see
if you could find the end of the sunset
like you always dreamed


it hurt to watch the sky get dark
and know that the light took you with it
i could never chase the sunset.
instead i wait here, for the beautiful sunrise.
589 · Feb 2019
high
brinn Feb 2019
my highs are so high
unbelievable
and truly captivating
they almost make me forget


that my lows
are
so
low
505 · Feb 2019
cigarette
brinn Feb 2019
he was like a cigarette

bad for me
even though it feels good
and i knew i shouldn't
but i took a drag

and just like that

i'm buying packs
every other day
and smoking whenever i can
i feel my lungs
crying and begging me to stop

but i can't
i can't stop
i can't stop loving him
473 · Feb 2019
love
brinn Feb 2019
the thing about love
is you don't realize
until you do.

and once you do
it's all you do.
395 · Mar 2019
tears
brinn Mar 2019
in the dark
all alone
it's the only time
i let you out
where no one
will see you
and your sounds
won't be heard
357 · Jan 2019
move on
brinn Jan 2019
move on
  move on
   move on
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                                                              ­                                              i can't
sometimes no matter how many times you tell yourself you just can't...
357 · Feb 2019
want
brinn Feb 2019
when he kissed me
the other night
the only thing i could think
was how much more
i wanted to be kissing you
327 · Jan 2019
always
brinn Jan 2019
and no it won't always
be easy
there will sometimes be hard days
but you will get through them
306 · Jan 2019
im sorry
brinn Jan 2019
im sorry for hurting you
i never meant to
but i did anyways and
i cant take it back.
hurting you hurts me more than anything.
im sorry.
im sorry.
im not asking for your forgiveness or understanding.
im just sorry.
and i wish i could tell you this.
247 · Jan 2019
so bad
brinn Jan 2019
do you ever feel
like you messed something up so bad
that for a minute it doesn't feel real
but then you remember the feeling you just had
you hurt someone in a way they can't heal
and you can tell they're very sad
and you really wish you didn't have to deal
with yourself because you're too mad
243 · Oct 2018
Dreaming
brinn Oct 2018
Last night I dreamt
That You were here with me
That You left that girl
And realized I was The One
For You.
You kissed me
And I swear, for a moment
It felt real.
So much passion could not
Just be a dream.
But seconds later I woke up
And I checked my phone
Only to see that she posted a picture
With You.
I laid back down and
Closed my eyes,
Because that's when I realized,
My dreams are the only place
That You and I are together.
241 · Jan 2019
funny
brinn Jan 2019
i think its pretty funny
how the poems i hate the
most
are usually the ones that
succeed the most.
230 · Dec 2018
crush
brinn Dec 2018
it's pretty ironic how you
call it a crush
i used to think it was due
to that feeling you get, the rush.

when just thinking of him makes
you blush and feel
butterflies. you dream of him and it takes
waking up to remember he is actually real.

hearing his name
can make you smile
like nothing else. trying to tame
that feeling will take a while.

when he sees you and gives a smile and wave,
you feel extremely happy.
and that moment you will save,
despite it being sappy.

but then you see him one day
with somebody new.
he looks at her in the way
that you wish he looked at you.

you turn away because you can't bear to watch the rest,
and you swear you heard
your heart being smashed to pieces in your chest
and you realize that crush is the right word.
229 · Dec 2019
I know.
brinn Dec 2019
I know.
I’m naive
I’m gullible
I’m daydreaming
I’m out of my mind.
I know.

I know what you do to me.
But I don’t care.
As long as I get to be near you.
227 · Dec 2018
title
brinn Dec 2018
whenever i write
i have to write the title last.
i am never sure where
my story is going to go
and i don't want a title
holding me back from writing
whatever i want.
i guess sometimes
people don't realize just how
limiting a title can be.
222 · Jan 2019
change
brinn Jan 2019
nothing will ever be the same
i knew it the moment i left
but even still i was surprised when i came
back and everything had changed.
221 · Feb 2019
single word
brinn Feb 2019
all it takes
is a single word
from you
to make me smile
for the rest of the
day
217 · Jan 2019
reflection
brinn Jan 2019
today i walked outside
i was walking around for a while
when i arrived at high tide
i had walked to the ocean, about a mile.

i saw a girl crying down by the sea
she tried to hold them in but the tears streamed down
and i tried to be as quiet as could be
as i walked closer, each tear enough to drown

i approached her and tried to ask "what's wrong?"
but the closer i got the clearer i could see
this girl who's face was tear stained and expression was long
was a reflection in the water, and finally i realized the girl was me.
214 · Jan 2019
10 things i hate
brinn Jan 2019
i hate that every time i see you
i think you feel the same
i hate that i think these scenarios could be true
i hate that i only have myself to blame

i hate that i build you up inside my head
i hate that your smile makes me feel high
i hate the words i still haven't said
i hate that i continue to try and try

i hate that i can't make you see me
in the way that i see you
i hate that no matter how hard i plea
you won't notice the things i do

but most of all the thing i hate
is the hold you have on me and
the simple fact that i would wait
forever just to hold your hand.
203 · Jan 2019
wow
brinn Jan 2019
wow
i think it's pretty crazy, how
you can think about someone
for hours and the only word you can come up with is "wow"
because there are no words to describe them. absolutely none.
you know what i mean, you're thinking of them now.
they light up your world, even brighter than the sun.

it's even crazier that they may not even know
they have this effect on you.
they don't know that where ever you go
you think about them and everything they do.
you try to be discreet and keep it on the low,
but you hope maybe, just maybe, they're thinking of you too.
200 · Jan 2019
naive
brinn Jan 2019
when i was little
i never even questioned love or if i would ever find it.
every princess always ended up with the prince
every story a happy ending.
now im questioning if
love even exists.
195 · Jan 2019
happiness
brinn Jan 2019
people think of happiness
too much in terms of
a destination
and not enough
in terms of
a feeling
190 · Feb 2023
Nothing to you
brinn Feb 2023
I remember when you told me
like it was yesterday
I remember that feeling
and I remember the way
I could barely breathe

Reality hit me in the face
I touch my cheek to feel
The sting is fresh and red
It was surreal
being knocked to the ground like that

I look for something to drown it in
but I'm left without it, choking down the pill
I'm nothing, nothing at all to you
and if it was your goal to ****
I'm dead, as I've always been to you.
184 · Oct 2018
Crying
brinn Oct 2018
For the first time
In a long time
I cried.
I cried myself to sleep
And once I was done
I cried again
And again
Until I had no more tears.
It felt good
And bad.
And now I feel like
Crying.
175 · Dec 2019
perfect
brinn Dec 2019
it will never be perfect
and that’s something
i still need to learn.
perfect isn’t real.
if things were perfect,
we wouldn’t ever feel.
173 · Jan 2019
No sleep
brinn Jan 2019
Recently I haven't been able to sleep.
There's no sound
not even a peep.
Except for that memory I found
deep in my mind, where it keeps
me up. It keeps me bound
to that moment and slowly seeps
out and my head begins to pound.
I slowly begin to weep
as I fall to the ground.
172 · Mar 2019
not sure
brinn Mar 2019
how are you supposed to feel
when you get
the worst news
and the best news
in the span of
five minutes
172 · Mar 2019
every song ends
brinn Mar 2019
when i heard it, i stopped
it was breathtakingly beautiful
and menacingly painful
at the same time

the lyrics, a diary
the rhythm, a heartbeat
the notes were like waves, so steady and calm
the singer was like an angel, guiding me along

it made me smile
it made me cry
it made me laugh
and remember the good times

and just when i thought
the song was perfect
everything i wanted and more
that's when it ended
as every song does
171 · Jan 2019
haunted
brinn Jan 2019
i toss and turn.
in my memory, i feel you burn.
the look on your face
keeps me locked in place
i try to help, i try to scream
but i no longer can. now you're just a dream.
171 · Jan 2020
i miss me
brinn Jan 2020
i miss me
which sounds stupid.
and i know that.
but i used to be different.
i used to have
ambitions and dreams.
i used to think
anything was possible.

i was happy.

and now i have
none of that.
i don’t even feel like a person.
i don’t even feel.
i used to be me.
165 · Jan 2019
but i can't.
brinn Jan 2019
that one moment
you wish you could take back
that moment you hurt the person
that cares about you
more than anything.
i wish i could
have that moment back.
163 · Jan 2019
i wish i could
brinn Jan 2019
its hard to believe in
something like love
when you watch the
people closest to you
fall further and further
out of it
every day.
161 · Mar 2019
inside out
brinn Mar 2019
empty
inside
and
alone
out
160 · Dec 2019
happy
brinn Dec 2019
i used to think of happiness
as a destination.
some place you got after
working really hard.

you might have to endure a lot
to get there
but once you arrived you realize
it was worth it.

it took me too long
to see
happiness isn’t a place.
it’s a feeling

and if you get absorbed in
the idea of finally
reaching a point where you’re always happy,
you never will be.
156 · Oct 2018
the worst
brinn Oct 2018
realizing that you mean nothing
to someone who means
so much to you
isn’t the worst feeling.
the worst feeling is
thinking they love you
as much as you love them
only to have them
turn their back on you
when you
needed them.
the worst feeling
is giving third
and fourth
chances to them
only to have them repeatedly
b r e a k
you. the worst is
having to continuously
tell yourself that it will get better
when it won’t.
156 · Dec 2019
I’m glad you’re happy
brinn Dec 2019
it’s difficult
thinking of you
with her
and happy

it’s not that I don’t
want you to be happy
I do.
I just wish it was me who made you happy.

thinking of those long summer nights
when we were together
in a room full of people
but it always felt like just us two

I know it’s my fault
I should’ve said something
done something
to show you how I felt.

but now I sit in the same room
tank tops have turned to jackets
flip flops to boots
and you’re with her, not me.

I steal a glance
or maybe two
and you’re smile
makes me break.
154 · Feb 2019
dream
brinn Feb 2019
he was the kind of dream
that made you want to
stay in bed forever
even after you woke up
just thinking about it
over and over again
154 · Feb 2019
and more
brinn Feb 2019
he was as bright as a star
he spoke endless dreams
he walked like the ocean
he smiled sunshine
he laughed like a bonfire
he dreamt in colors
he adventured like summer nights
his scent a field of daisies
and his warmth as soft as a puppy

he was everything
and more
149 · Jan 2019
right now
brinn Jan 2019
i'm tired of telling myself
"it will get better"
because i'm starting to live for the future
while the present just washes by
and i don't want to look back
and wish i just lived in the moment
144 · Dec 2019
Colors of You
brinn Dec 2019
the way you say hello
makes me yellow
your cheesy grin and wink
make me feel so pink

my heart that you steal
it feels like teal
i swear it should be a crime
the way you make me feel lime

how you make me swoon
feels like maroon
and your hand i get to hold
makes me feel like gold

but talking to you
can make me feel so blue
the words that you said
burn, bright red

what I’ve just seen
makes me green
seeing you in this light,
has turned me to white

when you left that day
it made me gray
i wish you’d come back
because now all I feel is black.
143 · Jan 2019
hello
brinn Jan 2019
you have no idea how
happy it makes me
just to hear
you say
hello
143 · Jan 2019
poison
brinn Jan 2019
the words sit on
the tip of my tongue.
poison, begging to be let out into the world.
rather than open my mouth and
let the poison and the words
seep out into the world
i swallow them down
only allowing the toxicity
to exude further into myself.
139 · Jan 2019
lucky penny
brinn Jan 2019
i found a penny on the ground
yesterday at eight.
the night was quiet, no sound
as i took the bait.

i picked it up and said
"it must be my lucky day"
the confidence got to my head
as i went on my way.

i saw that boy, my crush
and he looked at me and waved.
i felt my cheeks start to blush
and that moment i saved.

i got home and saw my test
was finally graded online
i looked and saw i did the best
i had ever done. the "a" was all mine.

my friend called to tell me
she got tickets to my favorite band.
i smiled and screamed with glee.
then giggled and covered my mouth with my hand.

i couldn't believe what my lucky penny did for me.
a good day like this was so rare.
i was surprised when i checked my pocket to see
the penny was never there.
brinn Feb 2023
I've never said those words out loud.
I've never felt those words, not truly.
But once they were spoken, they couldn't come back.
And those words were true when they left my mouth.

I knew you didn't feel the same way.
I knew that saying those words wouldn't change anything.
We both knew from the beginning
this wasn't a good idea.

If I hadn't spoken those words
Would I feel any better when I watched you leave?
Replaying over and over how I feel
I don't regret anything.
134 · Jan 2019
alone
brinn Jan 2019
i don't blAme you
for wanting to do
things without me

lateLy it's just
that when yOu're
goNe
i havE nobody.
133 · Jan 2019
what i want
brinn Jan 2019
the feeling you get when
you wake up really early
and drive with you friends
to the water to watch
the sunrise
and even though you woke up
at 4:30 am
you are not tired
because at the moment
all is good
133 · Jan 2019
hurt you
brinn Jan 2019
How can i live
Unpunished and full of
Regret after what i did
To

YOU?
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