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 May 2015 Rhianecdote
Riya
Autonomy
 May 2015 Rhianecdote
Riya
When you feel like you're drowning,
Sinking into the deep,
Darling, don't you dare utter a scream.
Don't call out his name, her name, or any name at all.
Fight, darling.
Swim up, up, up.
Push yourself.
But don't you dare count on anyone else.

They won't come running,
They won't risk their safety for yours.
Oh, darling,
Don't be naive,
There is no white horse or a brave, manly knight.
It's all fairytales to help you sleep tight.

They don't exist sweetie,
None of them do.
They don't really cherish you.
They don't know the value of a diamond,
Not unless it was on display to the world.

Remain chaste my sweet,
You're not just a stop on the way, my dear.
You're a destination
They aren't worth even one single tear.
how many times do I have to say
I miss you until it becomes poetry

how many since it mattered

how do I tell you I haven't let
anyone touch me since you
because as long as your hands
remain the last
you still exist here somehow
how do I tell you that doesn't even
begin to describe it
how do I tell you all the places you
touched me still sing
like a phantom limb

how many days did it take
for your mother to ask about me
if I'm ever coming back again
what happened to me
what happened to us
what did you tell her
and how bad did it hurt to say aloud

how do I tell you even the simplest
things are crippling without you
how breathing is wasteful
when there's no other lips to taste it
how badly my body has pined for
yours again

how cruel must you have been
to make me want like a child
to lead me senseless
to the brink of everything
I ever wanted
to lead me giggling and trembling
touching your face
and to leave me here alone
without a warning
heaven was not heaven when I
entered it alone
all this love I have to give
is shot to hell if I can't give it to you

so how many times
do I have to say I miss you
until it becomes poetry?
because I'll do it
I'll do it and do it until it matters
to you
Blood on my alarm clock
                  You felt so real
         I'm awake too early
           I've got time to ****
                   I close my eyes
      But can't fall back asleep
     Now you're only with me
         In every bad dream
 May 2015 Rhianecdote
anon
I don't think words are more destructive than thoughts. I think it's worse when the same thought repeats itself through the night and then you blame yourself for thinking the way you do. There's no off switch to negativity. You can't stop the flood of insecurity. You can only hope you're strong enough to stand your ground against every wave.
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