Smudged Ink

Smudged Ink Nov 2015

i walk through cities i don't know
exploring the endless maze of concrete

seeing all the different kinds of people
those who down on their luck,
suits with phones pressed to their ears,
college kids lugging around massive backpacks

i think about all of their stories,
the lives they have led
i want to ask
if they could live their life all over again
would they still be the same

so as i walk through busy streets
full of possibilities and dead ends
i wonder what the city has in store for me

#city #philly

Smudged Ink Oct 2015

all talk

i guess it's confusing
the way i say i love talking to you,
but i never message you back

so how did it get to be
that i am the one talking first
waiting on you to respond
and never getting an answer

you were the one person that i was comfortable with
and now we never talk,

or actually you never talk

so i am left talking to myself
hoping that you'll start talking back

#friends #you #me #missingyou #notperfect

Smudged Ink Sep 2015

flying (lying)

i thought we could fly
the way you held me so tight

i was sure i wouldn't fall
that heights didn't bother me
not anymore

maybe it was because of you

if we were close to the ground
i couldn't tell

i thought you were my forever

but i learned
that forever isn't you
that the flying feeling doesn't last
and when you look down
your feet are already on the ground

#love #life #you #forever #disappointment

Smudged Ink Sep 2015

the writer

he is beautiful to me
with his ink stained hands,
hair going a million different ways

hunched over a small book
a pen between his fingers
drumming the table while
bouncing his leg in time

those ocean blue eyes
pouring over the words
making sure they are just so

he scribbles frantically
crossing out sections as he goes
and writing in more

he is lost in a whole other world
consumed by the characters in his mind
that take him to a place only he can see

but when he looks up at me
and the world fades back in
the smile on his face puts one on mine
making me fall in love all over again

#love #man #writer

Smudged Ink Sep 2015

shifting light

how confusing it is to be in the dark
and long for the light

where your vision adjusts to the dim around you
putting things in a new and scary perspective
the place where monsters are under beds
and things can hide all too easy

so you wish for the light to shine down on you
bringing some clarity to your world
to be able to see things for what they are
and clear the cobwebs from your head

but no journey is very easy
and no roads are all that short
so as you make your way,
you stumble and fall

but you pick yourself up again
wishing, wanting, hoping for better
and after all the **** you go through
you make it

the place that you had dreamed of
that makes you feel happy and alive
where everything is golden

#depression #happy #alive #empty #dark #night #late #journey #light #ramblings

Smudged Ink May 2015

monsters in my mind

i've read it in books
i know it can happen
i just never thought it would happen to me

everyone knows what's wrong
but the subject is still taboo
as if the monster isn't staring us in the face

the dark room
that everyone tiptoes around
wondering what today will be like

they don't ask if i'm okay
they don't notice i have the same problem
i just hide it better

so i wait for the day,
where the skies are blue,
the grass green
and everything is all right

knowing it will probably never come
and if it does
it's just momentary

#depression #mother #mental #today #monsters

Smudged Ink Apr 2015

consumed by you

i need you out of my head
you are taking over my thoughts
and all i can think is you

now you are taking over my dreams
something so precious
a place i didn't want you to be

i have become consumed by you
and i don't want to be

so please leave me and my head
go so that i can think once again
so that i can breathe
so i can feel like myself

#thoughts #you #head #nights #rambling #consumed