When you wake up the nightmares are supposed to be over.
But every morning I wake up, the dream is over and the nightmare begins again.

To my dearest love

now you're in heaven
forever you will run
joyful and carefree
a young girl having fun

always youthful
not growing old
never feeling pain
so I've been told

no more worry
not another sleepless night
you are with God
and all of His might

facing life
without you by my side
is a pain
impossible to hide

when I go to bed
I pray every night
that soon I will die
and go into the light

waiting for eternity
my beautiful bride
soon I'll be there
forever by your side

your beloved husband

It's dark tonight
And I cannot breathe
The hands of time
Are slowly choking me
Tick Tick
Watch the color
Fade from my face
Tick Tock
Watch my body
Fall through space
Caught inside
These hands of time
Losing my grip
Losing my mind
Tick Tick
Why can't I see
What these hands
Want from me
Tick Tock
I'm fading fast
This life is just a memory
That can never last

Every problem is like another bottle.
I'm overwhelmingly drunk of them.
Where reality itself couldn't satisfy my taste of problems free.
Drinking again..

It has been so long
since I sat to type.
Of dreams, and heart things
and what my life is like.
It flows so naturally, I almost forgot...
The way I worked things out
Here in this spot.
Its like running a mile
and knowing yourself better by the end.
Like reading someone else's words written about you,
Words written by a friend.
I don't know where I am going,
But once I read back on where I've been...
I know I'm going somewhere
Different than the place I'm in.

I went to a grand Cathedral and heard eloquent words spoken. I walked down the street and saw a man with a bible preaching. I went to a homeless shelter and saw a man praying thankfully that he had soup to eat. I walked to the seashore and watched the sunset. I then sat upon a rock and thought about it a long time. I then decided where God is not. God is not in the building, or in the sermon that is preached. God is not in the homeless shelter or the food that we must eat. God is not in the sunset or in the warm ocean breeze. God lives most of all with in you and me.

wow
we really need to stop meeting like this -
- in the back of my mind, you strewn across the hardwood floor, me, watching you.
there is so much you'd rather be doing, but ive got one foot on your neck
and the other on the keys

we're never getting out
it's just you and me and the four walls that bind us

i keep going back here, with you again
and everytime i get out im left drenched with guilt

it's funny how i declare how much I want to start living
when im killing myself in the process

it's unintentional though, but i guess that's the equivalent of me saying
"i can stop whenever i want"
i can't
and if the devil is controlling these motives
***** him !!

ive lived in this home for too long to be witty and edgy and declare that
i wanna go to hell!!

i don't
but hell is this feeling, it's guilty
it's you and you know it

leave me alone for like, 30 days
then come back to haunt me again