I was seeking happiness, love & someone caring. And then you came along. I was so disconnected from the real world, lived in my fantasy. Never left my room, it was filled with sadness & sorrow.
I often felt like I could tattoo these tears on my eye.
I never believed in love. It had a lot of horrid memories, no good reference was in sync with it, or maybe the facade was just too bad to convince me.
Things changed.... You became what my broken heart desired. Always held me up when I was down. You showed me different paths love can take you. For the longest time I believed I'd never fall in love again. I warmed up to the idea of being alone and started building a life that consisted of me and only me. Then you walked into my life almost as if you were heaven sent you changed me, my thoughts, my perception on love and relationships. You effortlessly become my fairy tale. Honey,You're my smile, you're my cry. You're my confusion.. you are MY answer.  You are what I never imagined myself needing, wanting and missing. Yes, you're The piece that completes my puzzle, my heart and most importantly my life... You're all that and more.

By: @OfentseTsie & @JustKarabo

Dear Adam,
Guess what?
All I have of you is an iPod.
It's filled with your songs
It's filled with your thoughts.

I was in your room
i peered insid a box
I was hoping to find something
but you didn't keep much
Not your ****
or your pipe
or your old secrets

I don't understand maybe we wanted to keep it.
I see nothing of you
this is not your room
you didn't live here, I can't tell
It smells like you and your picture is all over
Your blue painted walls
the room is getting older,
There was a bag of razor blades but I don't know what they're form.
I felt kind o awkward in there sitting with your mom
maybe i wanted to kiss you
before you left
or tell you  you were cute
you knew nothing of my heart
and I knew so much from yours
Im torn.
Being in this room makes me squirm and feel all wrong
you left us in the middle
of a new found fairy tale.

You were no prince and I was no princess
but I didn't want that all quite yet.
I wanted you to know, all the things I wrote ini my heart
but you being here to hold my hand and ill say thats a start.


Sometimes I think you'll come around
you'll say you didn't go
you'll say you panicked and got lost
but really it was a joke.
I know its not true
I know I'll never see you
They found your body
They found your car
you were still hot
because you went so far.

now I'm here with your ashes in my bag,
feeling absolutely mad
knowing that I didn't help,
that you cried for me and I couldn't do
what i needed to.

You are gone and i am here,
Ill spead you out here and there.
your dust will flow for a thousand miles
ill float you in the sea
ill flow you in my favorite rose bush
and under your planted tree.

It's funny how it ends so fast,
how people can be gone.
How drugs can make your mind possessed by heartless hopeless thoughts.

It's wired how I can't hold you,
or tell you how I feel.
I wish i could have yelled at you enough for you to stay here...

you said 'don't lie to me
i can see your eyes'

so we sat on the jeep stop and
talked about feelings i'm
not sure i had.

you wanted i cry on your shoulder
cause you knew my loss

i was unfeeling
'can't do that on demand'

but suddenly it was 9PM and i was an ugly mess
sitting on the ground smoking menthols
wondering what the **** just happened

i was always the shoulder to cry on
so yours was a foreign place

but thank you for taking me places

I shouldn't drink this much

and I was so certain
I felt so sure

I thought you could see me
I thought you could actually understand

I felt you
I really did

You looked into my eyes and I looked
into
Y O U

I felt your heart

I saw your dreams

your aspirations

And there is nothing

not a thing

I want more,
than the privilege of your smile

the charity of your time

I was so sure
so convinced

and here I am near tears
completely unable
to forgive myself

here I am
here I am
and you are so
far away

here I am
hear me
listen

I've ruined myself

i'm rubble for you, dear

my eyes burn
A life spurned

I will never be the same

never again, never again

Despite the effort,
&
attention

Alleyways &the;
Obscure,
you're as close to home as ever

but
a miscommunication
is all I'll ever be

She and I exchanged disdainful glances
across the parking lot. The verbally brash
invitation she gave me at 10:30 two nights
earlier from a low-riding car resounded
in my brain. She wanted our graduating class
to get together and sit awkwardly around
a campfire while a few reminisced
of homeroom and half days back in high
school. And as the last few embers glowed
like residence halls, she would clear
her throat and bash college. She’d denounce
the curriculum, professors, and parking spaces
then praise the days of hurrying through carpeted
hallways and freshmen traffic. To see our classmates
laughing with hands outstretched to the flames
would bring a smile to her summer-chapped lips.
But we’re no longer classmates.
We’re just seventeen people trying to live our lives
outside the confines of Galeton High School. Sure,
we’ll bite our tongues and fake smiles every now
and then, but we’ll never be more than superficial.

You have been greatly misinformed,
who told you you can pick and choose
when to practice unconditional love?

I said no when my doctor asked me if I had suicidal thoughts
Cause for me it's never been like it is in films

I've never pictured it as a circle of blood around the drain hole

It's not a dramatic shot of my feet kicking off a stool a struggle and silence

It's not a freeing pose into the wind

It's not a collection of words to express my apology for the last time

It's not an artistic shot of 50 pills out of the bottle

It's always looked like walking out
A mundane, anti climactic, boring image
It feels tedious because it's been a routine for months
There's a difference between dying and committing suicide
You die long before you commit suicide