The lights of the day fades from blue back to black
and darker shades of silver grey*

Lately all my thoughts are all over the place
All just a mess
I want to pretend it never happened
Like you never left
But I wake up everyday and you're not here anymore
You're in another place
in another town
with other people
while I'm stuck her on my own
all alone
without you

how was I supposed to do?
all you've done?
be brave?
How would you think I'd be okay?
All I feel,
Is it's not real
And I'm ashamed.

Ashamed that I can't be what I thought I'd be.
I never thought it'd hurt like this

Time seems to have repeated itself again
I shouldn't have made the same mistake twice
Shouldn't have been selfish and held on so tight
Shouldn't have told you that you where my shining light
Shouldn't have thought that things could get better
Because they did

That's the thing,
It DID get better
and now...
it's all like it never did

Because I'm stuck in the middle
or worse still...left behind
confused and unable
to stand on my own two feet
this isn't who I was supposed to be
I was supposed to be stronger than this
I was supposed to better at this
Why can't I be like you?
I wasn't supposed to be this weak
But I am

And there are days
when I feel like I don't...
Don't  want to be better anymore
I can't be fixed
I'm not a car
There are no spare parts you can find
because I'll never run right.

But
then I hear your voice
and you say
'Who are you to say you're not okay?'
'You're only what you let think of yourself'
and if I let go,
How would I ever know?
All the endless possibilities?
Because you help me find the person I want to be!
Me.

&
I'm learning that
feelings are there
because they demand to be felt
So I wont shut them out
Like people shut me out
I'll be in little details
That people don't notice
But whoever notices me for me will know..
I wont pretend that things don't effect me when they do,
When I can feel every tiny thing.

I will learn to be brave..
I will find a middle ground
I will find a way...
Back to where I feel happy,
safe,
warm,
Back to the place that seems like a distant dream..
a place like home.

Hey there sunshine ray,
Time to wake up and come out & play
Break thru the tiny cracks of a shattered old window
& illuminate where all darkness resides
Brush away all the gray, and the pain of yesterday
Warm the rosy cheeks of the cold sleepy faces
Drop like raindrops,
not leaving a single place
untouched.

Hey there sparkle glow
Shine wide and bright & remind those,
eyes filled with tears of loneliness
of hope.
Transform the plain morning into golden kissed flames
Fill the bubblegum blue sky with tiny bended rays of sunlight

Sunshine, sunlight, pierce the veil
&
Drown away the worries of the  night
Fill the day with your crystal clear lemonish’cream’vanilla’icing.
Skip thru the puddles and tickle the sides of those who forget they could laugh over the small little things.

Hey there sunshine ray,
let your droplets of orange orange crimson sparks……
Spark and radiate and **** throughout the air of tiny million atoms filling the world with sunkissed stars,
Rain and flood all corners of the earth
Paint the flying dust specs swirling in the wind and grains of sand
Dazzle the view of the silent watching patient ones
Turn the leaves from green to emerald
and flowers to rainbow dancing peakcocks swaying in the breeze

Hush the world under a spell
with your droplets of sunshine.