hi,
i thought about you so much today
and i want you to know
i appreciate you

thank you for being you.
thank you for listening
and
your patience,
kindness,
generosity

i hear that you're exhausted
combating the endless toxicity of your mind
the evil that should've
ended so many years ago

i hear that you're lonely

i hear that you might need a lot right now.

i see your strength
and growth
please remember
it's not a
perfectly
     linear
          path

you're a work of art
and
it's a bit messy right now

i mean--
it's been messy for awhile,
that's ok.

you might not know
what direction it's headed
but
my god,
is it a good one

i see you.

i still love you.

a mind that is trapped
is a mind that is lost

set it free
let it wander

only your sanity the cost

Sleeping through pain is a tumor
Eventually
All emotions become scary
And you'd rather sleep
And starve your soul
And become a martyr for your fears
Than feel anything other than temporary happiness

I am the Apple Tree.
Please, feast

Thank you for destroying me
And I say it with the utmost sincerity
Thank you

For forcing me to walk through the rubble
inspecting brick by broken brick
recognising all the cracks in my foundation

Thank you for forcing me
to figure out all the reasons why
I had been so fragile in the first place

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

an overcast sky
we hurry to the clothesline
the rain gets there first

what does it feel like to be held
not by another body
not by a set of limbs, a chest, a chin
but
by another soul

what does it feel like
to see truth in another pair of eyes
instead of hidden intentions
instead of absence

what does it feel like
to hear a familiar heartbeat
resounding next to your own
reaching through skin
through bone
two rhythms
indistinguishable

what does it feel like
to write poems about
a love that exists

Once, i created a clone of myself.
identical down to the very last atom.

a month later, i killed it-

I could not take it.

it was just like me-
only happier,better than me

and of course you liked it more.