I held my phone.
And started to scan your pictures.
Strong surges of nostalgia pile up.
Memories became a movie in my head.

12:51am
You texted me.
"How are you?"
My mind's shouting
"Im not fine. I miss you so bad and it hurts this much."


1:30am
Thoughts are clouding my mind.
What ifs get under way.
Why did we end up like this?
What have we done to each other?


2:58am
A war in my mind's in ******
I cant get you out of my mind.
How's me? I dont know. I dont know.
You left me. I think Im fine. Really.


4:59am
The night's soon to end or so I thought?
The sun will come out in any minute to welcome me.
You were like the moon, you left me in my darkest moment.
And I still have no sun to shelter me.


6am
I was drunk with my thoughts of you.
My eyes are blurry because of tears.
My tears drown me in bed.
I am wrecked.



7:30am
My senses are tired.
They kept on shouting for me to take a glance at them.
I ignored them when you left me.
I havent been okay since then, I guess.


9:51am
The city is so busy like me.
Im tired, Im leaving now.
Now ask me before I go:
"How are you?"
I'll be fine. I hope you miss me too.


11:58am
A lifeless girl in bed with a letter beside her was found.

She spends her day wondering if I wonder about her.
And I do...
How my mind wanders all day back to her,
How her body wraps around mine when I cuddle her in bed,
How elegantly she walks;
How gorgeous she is when she stops stopping herself.
How she looks when she walks out of the bedroom in the morning.
How shy she looks when she wants affection,
How furious she is when someone is being wronged,
How sweet her kisses are when she's missed me,
How focused she is when she's working on a project,
How she folds herself about when she's sleeping,
How she throws herself into everything that she does,
How she makes me feel when she's in my arms.
She who loved me when I felt I couldn't be loved anymore.
She who stood by me in the wake of my madness.
She who waited when I told her I needed to finish my work.
She who wants to just collapse against me when the day is done.
She who wants to have a home for all of our Loves.
She who wants to bring beauty and happiness to the world.
She who makes my heart sings when she sings.
She who healed me in ways I thought I could heal anymore.  
She who wants to wander the earth with me and mine.
She who I seek when the thunder is rolling so she's safe.
She who I feel is genuinely by my side at all times.
She who I feel has been in my dreams as long as I've dreamed.
I find myself waking up from a sleep that kept me for years,
Eyes widening every day
To see everything in the glory that it is around me.
The glory of her presence in my life.
I know she is mine from how her hands twists into mine.
She is mine.
I am her's.
We are ours.

..so
    ..hello my friend
the end's..

             ..i might be one of you
     but then again i might not..


                      ..pluto's not a planet no more..

..i am.. & you are an universe..

                    ..no hands to hold you..no borders..

                           ..if it's not
         ..it's not..

                               ..but you know..

       ..you know..

Sometimes
When I sit on the edge of hill
Taking the fresh air
Mixed with sea salt
And smell of some foreign lands

I Think in myself
This is all what I need

Sometimes
When I lie on fresh cut grass
Leting my body to connect
To the beginning of my self
And feeling the tickles of other beings

I think in myself
That's all what I need.

Sometimes
When I give my hand to a stranger
Or just a lovley word for his tired soul
Seeing his thankful guard
and smile on his face

I Think in myself
That's all what I need.

I think in myself often
How beatiful this world could be
If everyone could just open
And go back to the place
Where they are free.

M.T. 2016

Romanticizing fantasy or refusing to see what’s in front of me-
It has always felt the same.
I have never been scared of silence and stillness
But I’ll take it back again.

I will steal your soul and bones without condition.
Like barbed wire rooftops-
I would kiss your sorrow sans inhibition.

So take me or break me, it's really all the same.
I'm the mirror that shattered and sliced your fingers
                         -your favorite superstition.

You just have the face of one of those people who look like they would cheat

Sometimes
I wish I could just sit
With a cup of hot cocoa
A book in hand
Draped in blankets
And watch the pink sunset out my window

Sometimes
I wish I could just stop everything
And take a nap
Whenever I wanted

Sometimes
I wish life was far more simple
Like it used to be

Sometimes
I wish I could freeze time
Or even time travel
To fix mistakes
To tell myself - why would you do that?!

Sometimes
I wish I could fly
Free like a bird
With no worries
But the next meal

Sometimes
I just wish
I could slow down
Put things on hold
And take a break
From life