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I just want someone to love me enough
That the scars seem just as beautiful as my eyes to them
I’m no longer a kid.
I care what people think of me;
the way I act,
the way I look,
the clothes I wear.

I’m no longer a kid.
Back then, letters were only building blocks used for spelling,
Why do they now mark the corner of my work?
Why do they determine my academic future?

I’m no longer a kid.
My tears are no longer spilled over a grazed knee
For now they pour over anxious thoughts-
Will they ever stop falling?

I'm no longer a kid.
We were told to be bodies full of kindness,
because everyone deserves love.
Why are some people treated differently?

I’m no longer a kid.
The world has opened up it’s true self to me
and now I drown in it.

-thelosstpoetjournals
Okay, you think I'm pretty
But will you walk in rivers barefoot with me?
Will you just sit there in silence and pick flowers with me?
Will you be there even when I don't want to be anywhere?
Will you stay after you see what I've done to my ankles?
Will you dance in the rain with me?
Will you hold my hand when something reminds me?
Will you understand when I want to be alone?
Will you be okay with not being okay?
Will you love me even when I hate myself?

I know it's unrealistic
And that the books I read set the expectations high
But I can dream
Was a draft for a while but I've decided that I don't believe in drafts anymore so
There are mornings I wake up
with the whole sea humming inside my chest
not drowning, not swimming — just
carrying it, like a secret too vast to confess.
The salt sits heavy behind my eyes.
I blink, and it rains.

There are nights I lie still and
feel nothing but wind in my bones.
Not silence, not peace ,
just absence stretched so thin, it whistles.
Like a conch left hollow by time,
still echoing a sound it barely remembers.

I am a shore that forgets its own shape.
The tide smooths me down, pulls away,
returns again with a different name.
It gives and takes and gives and takes
until I no longer know
if I am full or empty, or if those are just
two ways of describing the same ache.

I smile like a person who knows
they are not what they used to be —
and maybe never were.
Some days, I am the entire horizon,
wide and unreachable.
Others, I am a single grain of sand
stuck beneath someone else’s heel.

Even in stillness, something is shifting.
Even in silence, I am screaming inside.
And no one hears it but the waves,
who’ve heard it all before
and choose to return anyway.

I am learning that being full
does not always mean being whole.
That emptiness can feel like
a kind of sacred space —
not lack, but preparation.
Not brokenness, but room
for something yet unnamed.

So let the ocean come.
Let it swallow me or spare me.
Let it kiss my ankles and leave.
Let me hold both the flood and the drought
as if they are mine to cradle.

Because they are.

Because I am not just the shore.
I am the tide too.
04/16/2025
You don’t know,
but I orbit you.
Like a quiet moon
around a star
that never looks up.

Just close enough
to feel your light,
but too far
to ever talk.
clearing my drafts ;)
And she fell,
into ice-cold water.
Her legs kicked,
gasping for air
that once suffocated her.

She didn't scream,
reached her hand out,
not for light, but to bid goodbye.

She looked around,
to realize the dark
she had walked into.

Fate laughed,
as she closed her eyes.
Oh, what an irony,
she couldn't swim.
what an irony!
---

There's a creature in this cruel world
Who love's to hurt
And make you blue
He's out there lurking for you, child
He'll take everything from you...

... but oh!
How handsom and delightful!
When he speaks the silver rings!
Come to find out he is frightful
Scorpion with angel's wings

Watch out child...
Watch out for liars.
Those who practice to deceive!
He'll take you down
To his own fires
He will sting if you believe!

But! Oh how beautiful and graceful!
And! How exquisitely you sing!
But. My "friend", you are disgraceful!

Scorpion with Angel's wings

----


SoulSurvivor aka
Write of Passage aka
Invisible inc
Catherine Jarvis
9/6/2016


To any poor woman out there who
had her heart taken away by a
sweet talking LIAR.
This song is for you
I woke up in the morning wanting to pick dandelions from my backyard
so I got up from bed
Went outside
Sat down on the hot pavement
And inspected one

To me it was a beautiful flower
But it was crazy that they are usually considered weeds just because they decided that they weren't wanted
I wanted that dandelion though
so I picked it
I smelt it
Appreciated it
And sat there in silence
Listening to nothing but the birds in the sky chirping to one another

I started to feel bad for the dandelions too;
Not because I picked them out of the ground but because nobody else wanted to
I felt bad that everybody else decided as a society that they were weeds and that they should be thrown out and not admired

I look at a planted flower and I realize that it is no more beautiful
It didn't smell better
And that I didn't want it more

I put the dandelion I picked in water,
And put them in my room

I'm gonna look for the dandelion-like "weeds" in my school now

Thank you dandelion for everything you've taught me
And the dandelion doesn't know why it's even a ****. What's wrong with being a bit different, especially when you're beautiful!?! Do you ever feel like a dandelion?

I don't ******* know
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