my heart used to flutter
when you texted me
I would gush at every compliment
but then
I was impatient to be called yours
you cut our situationship off
and decided we should be just friends
it broke my heart
as tears streamed down my face
but soon enough
I accepted it as that
but then
you became distant
and stopped replying to me
you left me on read/seen
it made my heart heavy
and stomach churn
I stopped begging for
your attention
and affection
now I no longer care
I do not feel anything for you
my heart is steady
I don't look forward to
your texts
I barely think of you
I am done
done with this mess
I will wipe my hands of
this situation
and leave it in the past

A woman, who’s really tired,
Hasn’t even go to bed.
It’s past midnight and all over again.
Her bed’s still fully made.

A woman, who’s really tired,
Forgot what sleep is.
She spent herself but stably accepted
Her Destiny’s painful decrees.

A woman, who’s really tired,
Wants simply and plainly to be.
She stopped laughing long ago.
She rarer wants to speak.

A woman, who’s really tired
Of blaming herself for breathe,
A woman, who’s still feeling,
Has simply the right to live!

Diving in and the water is deep , ripples of pain away from me creep.
All around me the absence of sound, the weight and intensity is profound.
I blink my eyes try to clear the haze, questions bubble around me creating an unending maze.
No answers to help me through the confusion. The happiness i had dreamed only an illusion
Im living in a nightmare instead of my dream. And dealing with the staggering reality that no one is what they seem.
Every heartbeat an ache and a cry! pretending I’ve got it under control but its a lie!
The pain is staggering and it makes me sway
I drop to my knees and overwhelmed i pray.
Open my clenched fists help me let go…. the control i never had, cracks starting to show.
Relax my jaw, tension making it ache, all this heaviness away from me take.
Heal my heart from the heavy blows. I feel as though i am bleeding out but no one knows.