Please put me down

I let you take me above and beyond
Soaring through the galaxies..
You've showed me the brightest stars
and the kindest planets
You've showed me compassion
in ways I've never known
You've showed me honesty and love..

But please put me down.
Bring me back to earth.

I don't want to fall from all the way up here
I don't want to be abandoned out here..

Please bring me back,
Where I know what to expect
and even though it's less than what I deserve,
at least I will know where I stand.

We feel so deep that we reach an abyss

We feel nothing because we feel everything all at once

Our hearts are trying to send too much data to our brains--

O v e r l o a d !

The innocence that remains inside of me
Darla, is what her name shall be
Running through the forest as if she were free
Wearing an old fashioned white dress with scrapes on her knees
The lightest shade of blonde hair that you ever did see
Dirt on her hands while her seat for supper remains empty

Darla, oh Darla, where might you be...
Chasing the butterflies and buzzing with the bees
Napping in the meadow is where you may find thee
Dreaming of Darla, she and I are dancing
Away with each other, where I wish I could be her and she wishes she were me.

I can't write out what I really mean to say
All I can bring myself to do is cry and cry
Until I am breathless.

And I am ashamed of what I have done
I hold the most regret in my heart and feel the pain of my choice every single day

I wonder what you would look like
And what you would laugh like
And of what color your eyes and hair would be

And I just don't understand how I could ever be forgiven.

I wish so desperately I could go back and choose differently.
I become so angry now when I hear women and men talk about abortion
I want to scream and cry until I am drained.
I hold my stomach and wish I hadn't been so selfish

I wish I could hold you, every minute, every day
I wish I had you sleeping beside me with a sister you would have loved so dearly
And she would have loved you more than anything.
She would have protected you... Which is what I should have done.

It's been a year and a half. You would have been one soon.
Maybe walking by now.
I wonder if you still grew, with God up in heaven with all of the other millions of children who should have been here.
I wonder if you can see me and my tears.

You still consume my thoughts
As if you made your bed there and are forever sleeping..

I will never make peace with the decision I made.

You're so used to trickery
I wonder if you've played tricks on me
You see, I would never know if you had
Because you're a trained elite.
Taught to keep secrets and analyze society
Prepare for the worst, yet remain calm
You stand guard for traveling families
While dismantling bombs.

Do you pick my brain and take notes
On my answers and reactions?
Do you see me as a potential hazard to society
Or a person with love and compassion?
I know you must remain strong all day
with your guards standing tall
But with me, I promise,
You may let them all fall.