Building walls
Impenetrable
To everyone
Except you

I allow you in
Just so you
Can tear me apart
From the inside out

i am not the girl you will fall in love with upon first sight
i am made of late nights, busy days, and a long hard past
i am not a pair of legs
i am the sum of all my thoughts
and everything i aspired to be when i was little
i am not a pair of almond-shaped eyes
i am a soft kiss on your cheek and your face nuzzled into my neck when it's 2 am and you can't handle everything
you will not fall for me upon first sight
but you will fall for me
slowly
as you get to know me
and i wouldn't have it any other way

And every time I think of you,
I think about an unfinished dream and not knowing
whether to fight for it or just leave it like that
and forget it like it would just fade away like
morning dew.

And every time I think about that unfinished dream,
I think of murmuring your name
on your ear while
we're lying on a field full of sunflowers
and kissing the spring rain and summer air because
our love is in the air all over and
again.

And every time I think I will fight for it,
fight for us,
I think of your sweet lips and
your radiant smile you'll show me everyday.
But then I think that maybe you don't feel
the same way as I do,
maybe it's just unrequited and
I'll bury myself in a wallow of shame and broken dreams
Or maybe you love me too?
But then, we will stand against the world
with your palm fits in mine
with thunderstorms and mother nature
try to tear us apart
when forget-me-not blooms among the gentleness of dandelions.

And every time I think I will just leave it like that,
I think of those nights I will spend regretting
the missed chances to hold your palms and
to stare deep inside your pupils,
my favorite objects in this whole universe

Not such a big deal
Right?
It's only three digits
Only 100 works of emotion
Now I'd say works of art
But my words aren't that
They're emotion
They're feelings
Thoughts, impressions
One hundred.
How the hell did I get here?
I would have thought
That by now
I would have given up
Stopped at twenty-three and a half
But one hundred?

I like it when you're tired
And when your thoughts and words go
Go go go
And never stop.
They're unfiltered
So I see the true you
All your crazy thoughts
Your weird plans
               We should invent an artificial sun
                               that runs on solar power!
And we act foolish
Completely immature and playful
And I get to see your crinkly-eyed smile
And hear your hushed giggles
Whenever you laugh at the silliest things
And it's truly beautiful

I'm outside of nowhere,
Knocking on door,
You're going to ask what's in store?
But I couldn't tell you,
It's white, but glows black and blue,
with nothing holding it,
But still standing like it is a good fit,
I knock again,
Like a writer with a pen,
I feel like I will be happy once I go in,
But nervous because of how it might end,
Feeling a deep breath escape,
It opens.

Another bus ride,
Seeing the cities as a tide,
Taking it in for a brief moment,
Witnessing humanity's atonement,
A collective of its wonder,
As the streets and the construction ring across the ocean like thunder,
But as I sit I also pay attention to it's greatest blunder,
Old lady,
Standing while a young person stares down at a phone,
Do they see her?
But a kid in the back,
Grabs her bag and helps her into the seat,
In one simple feat,
The balance of human's plays in synch,
I stand with headphones in,
My eyes absorbing life that exists,
On this small city bus,
The enchantment flirting with love and lust
My music is playing my soundtrack,
To their lives