today you looked at me and told me
to fall out of love with you
you laughed
you said i couldn't do it
that i couldn't
look you in the eye
and tell you

so i looked right into your deep brown eyes
that held a mischievous glint
and said clearly
"i don't love you anymore."

i've had nightmares since i was young
ones where i'd wake up
sweating
crying
walking to my mom's room
so that i could sleep with her

when we'd wake up in the morning
if it was still bothering me
she'd make me write it down

she always told me
that things only go away
if they leave your head

but i've written your name
thousands of times
and yet
you've never left my mind

you and me
underneath my grey duvet
covered with only white t-shirts
and mischief

listening to 90s music
and laughing at the lyrics

kissing when the next song comes on
holding each other tightly
as if one of us will
dissintegrate
at any moment

you and me
at the beach
right on the shoreline
where the water meets the sand

kicking off our shoes
and jumping right in
it's ice cold
but you make me feel warm

you and me
fighting about god knows what
yelling things we don't mean
and going to sleep without saying i love you

getting distant
ignoring phone calls
just to avoid arguments
going to the beach
but not with each other

listening to 90s music
but not hearing the lyrics

sleeping in the same bed
but on opposite sides

now there's a you
but it doesn't include me.

i almost died today
i was pulling out of school
i looked to my right
looked to my left
to make sure it was clear
there was a few cars to the right
but i can make it, i have time
i start to go
and there's a car to my left
coming straight for me
i stomped on my breaks
but realized it was too late to stop
so i just went

multiple cars were coming at me
from both directions
and i just went
thinking
"yeah, i have time"

but that's what we all think
that we have all this time
until we don't

i almost died today
and i'm glad that i didn't.

i got in line to get a coffee
and noticed a familiar set of strong shoulders
you turned around surprised
we had one of those
'i haven't seen you in forever'
type of looks
you asked me to sit with you
and before we knew it
we were talking how we used to
without even meaning to

you looked up from the table
and itched the back of your neck
just like you used to do
when you were nervous
"what happened to us? we had the kind of love that people made movies about."
i didn't know whether to laugh
or cry
"well you gave me the type of heartbreak that people write about."

i told myself
that i'd never
do it again
yet here i am