Have you ever stopped a great addiction ?

Remember the emotions that rushed right after coming to a halt

Feeling cold to the touch
Words filled with pain
Numbness in your mind
A lifeless brain

Did your heart stop while running away

Or

Did you go back without making it a day

Shaking with fear and pain; just to touch him again

Silly pain
15 minute fame
You jump the fence
Just so they know your name
Alone for 16 years
No one knows how you feel
She was afraid of someone
Or heartbroken and in need of attention

When the quiet girl with gigantic problems speaks up its a mouth full no one could grasp in one take

You treated her life like ****
Telling her to be more, fit in
Taking an easy hit
An insecure girl
Thrown in a pit of *******, jerks and fears

You think being the skinniest and prettiest will help you in life, think again

We're all ****** people and yes you're one of them

Blueberry kisses
I get to like the spoon as my mother makes pancakes on this early noon
9 years ago, us on our own
The whir of her voice woke me every morning but now all alone here on a cliff; I stand while she gives her kisses away
16 years but 2 on cloud 9 a needle in my hand, it was only a matter of time;
I take a leap into the fumes I end up burnt but that's nothing new;
I miss my blueberry kisses but now they're all gone.
Do you see why I'm hateful, do you see it mom ?
What happened to blueberry kisses,

for breakfast every morn' ?

Fresh breathe of coffee beans
Clinging and clinking of fine china mugs
Quiet Whisper’s; typing of keyboards pages flipping; sighs from about

At the coffee café
I will make a choice on a stupid ******* book about the love within one.
Maybe I’ll read about a dinosaurs’ life even though every single **** right now hasn’t even seen one.
I could read about death and get more depressed or leave the coffee café for another wasted day.

I walk outside the coffee café to chirping lullabies and cars pacing by. I lay on the grass with the book of my choice: One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish; Yes, I know Im a 16 year old girl with dark brown skin, sophisticated clothing reading a Dr. Seuss book, SUE ME; but let me be free for this rhyming time of Dr. Seuss and this stupid thing I have going on.

You're messaging me back
*Finally

I sliced my wrist at 11:03
I’m sorry I left you
It’s too much for me
I apologized to you as I hurt myself repeatedly

I apologized to the people I feel hate me
Drama ***** my heart dry
When I have to clean my wrist every night

I’m sorry that I was a waste
But you really were my thought of day

I wish it didn’t have to end this way
But my last goodbye will be in my head
I cut too deep into your heart; I will save you the trouble and stab my arm

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving pretty soon;
Hopefully you’ll never see me again

I still love you

**The End

The rain shattered on the rooftops; clashing with my skin;
running into the closest building which felt the farthest away slipping on mud I fell into the storm
of you
Being my home, the closest I've come to something real
Searching for the eye of the storm
Lost in pain, I can't find my way
Stumbling upon something new everyday
I just wish the rain would end and shine one day
The pain feels like acid rain burning my skin on a sunny day
But your smile is a hurricane taking out everything
I want the rain to end but I would never see you again
Into the storm, I fall again but you catching me in your arms
The storm has stopped and I realized that the rainy days are the ones that let me love you more even though the sunny days are the prettiest of all.

My lipstick scetched in your lips
Your love etched on my heart
I think I love you more but physical attraction is what I'm liking for

I covered your face in lipstick stain
As you say I love you over again

List covered dust
Sprinkled over us
All I can do is think of you

Running your hands up my back
Chills shoot through, an impulse erupts saying I love you was just too much

Physical attraction was what I wanted so in the end

"We're just friends"

Everyday with you
I learn something new

They don’t tell you about the hard days
When your down to your last piece of patience

Its not your fault
Nor mine;
This is something new

I am thankful for you and all that you do
But they really don’t tell you about the hard days

When you can't fall asleep
When you refuse to eat

Why wont you let me brush your hair
Can you put on your underwear?
I’ve been chasing you around days

Help me, let me catch up

You’re growing taller and getting smarter

Your training my brain
Testing my restraint

I feel that I am failing you,
I feel you could do better without me, your mommy
But everyday with you,
I learn something new

Because they do tell you about the good days
But never go in depth

From the “mommy I love you" down to the kisses and hugs
You make the bad days seem not so tough
when your smile pokes through the 3 year old " I'm grown" attitude

So we can stay up tonight
maybe share a midnight treat

We can brush your hair in the morning
or tie it up

Who needs underwear
Mommy doesn’t care

Everyday with you
I learn something new

Good days or bad days
I will always love you
No matter what they tell me
Everyday is a new day for me and you

I'd rather learn something new then have never met you

I've seen raindrops on your face
The brightest days you hide away
Like a shattered screen you'll always be broken
Big grins can't hide your pain
I loved you forever but you became to much;
The gift form hell but the burden from above