my head hits mahogany while i wait
but when my screen radiates light
and the beams bounce off
all of my off white walls
you illuminate my world

feel free to knock out a few
of your sweet teeth,
so you can get down to business
drinking this bitter bean juice

i keep screaming that it's just. not. smart.
if you keep cutting ties, you'll never get a job.
for one thing,
short ties look unprofessional
you'll not make much of an adult
without some more support
you need to put yourself out there
and find it on your own

the real world is scary
if the window cleaner would dig a little deeper
and you were less blinded by the shine of my bleached teeth
i'm sure it would be clear

sitting down in the shower
cliché but appealing,
if i could feel a fraction
of the feelings that they're feeling,
the things i've been hearing since
the day i grew ears.
looking for reasons to love yourself
in someone else's clothes.
every year that passes
i've managed to convince myself
was just another mid life crisis,
because i'd be overwhelmed
with another fifteen, twenty years
or how long can a person last
convinced they'll find a romance
that distracts from how they hate themselves.

skim the surface of the body,
still completely overwhelmed.
feel inclined to dive inside,
reside upon the brim.
lily pads meander in
the tear gland of my eye.

i had sought to feed off that
which preys into the autumns
and was myself a parasite,
a meagre knot of pond ****.

in birth i wake
with an overbearing taste
of salt in my mouth.
people are the worst,
i don't want to be one.
but misandry is misdirected
a lack of perspective.
people are the persons
that make up the waves
of eyes and mouths
that i wade into in birth.
and one gentle tide will
wash upon the shore,
that carries me to sea
and i'll be willing to go.
i was assured in birth