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And that's how you lose him,
Your ignorance,
Thinking it's bliss,
Your avoidance,
Thinking it's brave,
When he tries his best to make you
Smile,
Tell you it's alright to cry,
Make you believe you deserve,
Love,
Happiness,
And the whole world,
If he could, he would;

But that's how you lose him,
When you decide it's just a game,
Thinking he's another player,
Like the rest of them,
Even though they have different names,
And he's shown nothing but how he's not the same;

So that's how you lose him,
And you're the one to blame.

@byizn
They can prescribe
Pills to make you sleep,
Pills to make you happy,
Pills to stop the anxiety,
Pills to make you
Walk around
In a drunken haze
So that you can't connect
With the world enough
For it to hurt anymore.

They could give me pills
To help me get through work,
To make me smile at strangers,
They could give me pills
To fix my insomnia,
They could give me pills
To drown out the loop
Of anxiety
I'm constantly
Trapped in.

But could someone give me pills
To stop me from hurting him,
Him,
The thing I love most.
I'm like a white hot iron,
Sinking into his flesh,
Making it sizzle and
Bubble,
Making smoke curl up
In curvy pictures.
Can they give me pills
To stop that?

They can prescribe pills,
To stop your sneezing,
So help make your second
Personality
Shut up,
To stop your mood swings.

But can they give me pills
To stop me
From being so tired
From fighting every instinct
Of dysfunction I have?
I'm an artist of self destruction,
My brush strokes are skillful,
And aged with experience,
The colors make it stand out,
When you focus on it long enough.
Can they drug me until I forget
I can't even tell I'm hurting
The man I love
Until it's too late?
Can they give me pills to tune out
The reality that my own father
Molested me,
And that it will haunt my actions
For the rest of my life?


Can they give me pills to stop that?

CAN THEY GIVE ME PILLS TO ******* STOP THAT?

It's a whip that stings across my back,
And face,
Constantly,
It thrashes at my body,
It will always be there,
And if you get too close
You get hit too,
And I have to watch you,
Praying you'll leave me.
Why do they think I don't let people in?

Because they can't prescribe me pills
To stop that.
Wall clock,
Tick-tock.
Slaves to all of time.
Fear,
Block.
Heart-drop;
Failure to comply.
hypnotised
It's closing in
once again
water falls
leaves descend.

Night becomes darker
light deprived of its ember
fumbling around, on knees
struggles getting harder.
Inspirations and aspirations.
Nowadays, I don't even write nearly as much as I used to. Not for the reason that I don't want to, but I just have so much to say. By the time I get it written down on paper I find myself blank. Grasping for straws with nothing meaningful to say. I've been so caught up with life & all it's let downs that I never sit to actually write them out. Yet, here I am 10 PM at night on my couch, writing.

I am pondering the meaning of my existence. Wondering, does God have a plan for my life, does He even hear my prayers? I'm quite positive I am not the only one who lays up at night thinking these thoughts.

However, I know one thing is for certain. I wasn't put on Earth to get the extravagant house or even the nicest & fastest car. Those are merely toys that break down & have to be fixed every now & again. Kinda like our lives.

We head down a path that seems to be great, then we get there & realize it wasn't at all how we pictured it. See that's what scares me the most. Having got so far into life, but still have yet to get anywhere meaningful.

After all, that's what we're intentionally striving & searching for is meaning. If we weren't, then why try so hard at school or working to get the next BIG promotion. Reminds me of the story in Solomon (which I have yet to fully read.) It explains that he had it ALL yet in the end he says, "it's ALL just meaningless, meaningless."

**Which leads me to ask, where should we go from here?
 Nov 2016 Scarlett Fuentes
SZ
If there is
Just one thing I could do differently
I would go back to that night
And catch every single tear
That fell from your eyes
Just wanted to know if I could go home
You've kept me here far too long
I've stood in the drunken downpour
While you berate me with your stubborn core

I miss all my friends and the ones that let me in
There's ink missing from my timid pen
Yet here you are to offer it back up
Right when the chaos erupts

And here we go again
With our sparks and our ends
Are we dancing for ourselves when the lights cave in
Or can we even distinguish the love we began with
Its just for us and all that we extinguish

You and I
You and I
You and I
All for you
Inspired by Jeff Buckley
If a thought is not put into a word, in turn, into an action,
How much value does a thought truly have?
A thought is not heard, nor is seen.
Instead a thought provokes the strongest sense of all,
A thought is felt.
Only the mind with the thought can feel the weight it bears.  
A personal bond is created at that moment.  
There is a sort of intimacy between them.  
A privacy that cannot be revealed,
That is until a word stumbles off the edge of one’s lips.
Evermore,
That thought has been shared,
which now is up to interpretation and judgement.  
Once exposed to the air we breathe
The original thought becomes polluted and loses its purity.
The thought evolved into a word,
Now anxious to become an action.  
So distant from where the thought developed.
An action can truly affect others regardless the intensions.  
You can guarantee an action will become open to the public.  
It can been seen, it can be heard.  
We tainted this thought and raised it into the beast of an action.  
At the simplest form you have a thought,
It is simplicity where you find beauty.
Enjoy the simple things in life,
Because it is a thought that spark the smile.
When we talk about value the worth is in the heart of the consumer.
Value is subjective and is not numerical.
So when asked, how much value does a thought truly have?
The answer is immeasurable.
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