I was petrified in fear of consequences that came from acts not yet played out.

And i wept for a life i have not yet lived
I felt remorse for hurts i have not yet caused

And i mourned the joys i may never see

My eyes wide open gazing to a future
That might never come.

I'm yet to comprehend the present.

you removed me
from your public profile
wiped it clean
like i never
existed

i wished you’d do this for so long
i’ve been an *** to you for years
playing a
stupid
game.

but now i wonder
did you remove me from your life too
from your memories
is there no hurt
where once love used to
be?

i hope you succeeded
to forget me
like i never did forget
you

why do i only remember
the bad things i did
but not
the things you said
that made me
angry

why do i
care
when we’ve been nobodies for
years

why do i feel guilty
when it takes two to play this game

i don’t know

i don’t know,

but i want to.

pretty little mind
gone and never found

found but never spoken
make me a promise

remain unbroken

I don't have daddy issues
I have issues with daddy.

i sometimes wish there was a war coming
it is selfish
it is foolish
but that's what i long for

i wish there was a war coming
so i wouldn't have to study
i wouldn't have to work
i wouldn't have to love

i wish there was a war coming
so there would only be worry
so there would only be hushed voices
silent stares in the night
and death and selfless sacrifice

i wish there was a war coming
so i could flee or fight
i could be a hero, a coward
i could be honest at last

i wish there was a war coming
so peace could settle to my heart.

I'm a lesbian
You're being a **** to me
This is irony

when i am dead,
bury me someplace vast,
full of knowledge
bury me in a library
no, better yet
bury me under a shelf
full of books
no, better yet
bury me under a pile of books,
no, get me closer,
cremate me,
bury me between the sun-yellowed pages,
stuff me in
compress me into paragraphs, sentences,
words even
press me into the holes of letters
until i can see the pigment of the ink
and then i shall learn
to read between the lines