Dear dear, Oh my dear.
Shed more tears for the coming year.
Feelings feelings what are they.
I have nothing to say but, stay.
Slowly fading away feelings,
What are they?

The year is slowly coming to an end
All i can think of is how that night ended
A month once the clock ticks twelve
Will these feelings be ever reciprocated
Or it will forever be one sided

Wearing your sweatshirt on a cold night.
I might love this so much.
I actually do..  adore you cooking pancakes.
As much as I adore your lips around me babe.
Maple syrup, able to devour you inch by inch.
You ease my itch with every touch.
I will miss it so much.
I wept as my inner demons talked to me.
Shaking and losing everything all at once.
You never left, my heart rejoiced.
Touched your beard as you heard me voiced, I love you.
Oh, you.. the face you made when i told you.
You deserve so much, too sweet and you deserve all.
I hope I am that much for you to not ask for more.
My sunrise at three in the morning.
My baked macaroni this early morning.
My happiness and everything.

x

You can't let go of what makes you sad because it once made you feel so delighted. You can't and you won't ever try to move on in the first place because you still believe that things might change and it will make you giddy all over again. But as the time goes by, as you go through the process of detaching oneself from that person which is a very disturbing phase of moving on.

You are reminded of all the delightful memories that you had with them but at the same time those memories becomes morbid to even comprehend. You are reminded as well that what you thought was making you joyous, was never the right thing. It comes as whispers from your conscious mind telling you that the memories you valued most was wrong and everything was a lie.

A somewhat alternative reality composed of cobweb of lies. Made to somewhat manipulate you into thinking that they are really interested in you. You kept insisting that there might be things that are real.

You are in denial that at some point the things you thought aren't lies. It felt dreamy and felt like it's real but you were just dreaming while your eyes are open.

Now you're aware that what you feel is the process of detaching oneself to the person who you love so dearly but didn't loved you back.

It's hard every night
I crave for you while I cry
The little world we once had
A bubble where you and I exist
Where the word us defines a team
The adventures we went through
Happened inside that bubble
I became capable of going out and all
But now I'm not anymore able
The bubble we had together bursted
The little world we had disappeared
People came as I knew your secrets
One by one I accepted them all
Just to hear you say I love you once more

A second turns into minutes
As minutes turns into hours
As hours turns into days
As months passed by

Everything went cold
Day by day we get old
And I am left to froze
While I wait for you
To give me a rose

x

We were kissing each other and I stopped to appreciate him. He asked why, “Nothing” i replied. But his lips curled up that it popped a dimple before it became a smile. I smiled back and kissed him on his forehead down to his right cheek and back to his lips.

Deep inside I was talking to him heart to heart, lips on each others lips, touch by touch, side by side cuddling each other. I never had the guts to tell him why. Even when i asked him the morning after, i didn't managed to say the words i have been keeping all night. I made an excuse, to not make it awkward. The most stupidest thing I have ever done.

Tell me how one does simply forget about the little things that does not matter to others but meant a lot for you?

I feel alive. I feel alright
But what is right?
My chest never felt this tight
I can’t breathe but i might

I might as well die
Grasping for air, i need more
Before i close my eyes
Just one more time
And i will die

Die with sadness intertwined
Juxtaposed with over reacting
I need wine to feel fine
I can’t breathe but let it be

I can’t breathe
I’m going to die

I saw you two nights ago with your new guitar from a far
I know we ended things a month before yesterday

I'm okay incase you are wondering
I saw you looking at her and it was starting again
I managed to contain by thinking you're not mine anymore

A year ago we went swimming
Just because I was sulking
You thought I needed some sun
It was a lot of fun

Now I haven't went anywhere but gigs
trying to forget things

Two years ago, we were together
Celebrating Hallow's Eve
In a sketchy place on a rainy weather

Me, you and your telecaster
walking along the stretch of that street
where we saw a fire exit
on a sunny morning
after having some breakfast

Two nights ago, I saw you walk away
with your guitar and everything we had

Let’s stop this madness that you only want me when you are bored.
I want you out of my life you did nothing good.

You made me have false assumptions through your ever changing behaviour
And you have the audacity of turning tables just because things are not in your favour

The Devil was once an Angel indeed
The good deeds i have done does not mean anything to a cruel man

Everything seems meaningless and a laughing stock
I should have known that, you and your hidden agendas was the greatest barrier between us

The more the merrier you say
But what if i tell you that most must go and one should stay and if i say i shall stay
Will you let me or say you don’t want me?

Forget me not i tell you but you already walked away holding another woman’s hands
And it does not bother you that i stand
Watching you walk out of my life

I believe for some reasons we are trapped in our own emotions. It’s easy to say “Have fun, get out and just do it”. It takes a lot of guts to do a thing; Specially, when you have been under the weather for so long, you already forgot who you were before the storm came. Sometimes the storm becomes a drizzle and a little bit of sun goes in the way but it’s still there.

When was the time you remember you have seen the sun shine brightly and you felt its warmth deeply enough for you to shine your way out?

We've had those moments, but storms do come back. And when they come around, we would already know how to navigate the boat we've been on for who knows how long, filled with our dreams and aspirations over the rough seas on a stormy weather; and there will be sun after every storm we go through.

I’d like to say, hold on; you’ll get out of it and eventually find an island where it’s always sunny. You might even find someone on that island who you will call your sunshine. A person who had been sailing through a storm just like you and as the saying goes, no man is an island; that in an uncanny place for there are so many islands yet you’ve met each other.