Everything i write feels unfinished.
Just like the conversations we have,
the thoughts i push away,
the sobs that are hushed,
the time that is rushed,
and every time i beg you to stay.

Dear Academia;
I took the adderall
because I thought
you wanted me
to be a machine.  I didn't
understand that
amphetamine tasted
like candy once you
got used to the way
your jaw locked and your
ears rang.  Dear
academia, did you
see my face when you
read my GPA, did
you see the way I stayed
up too late after my
after school activities
trained me to live with
anxieties?  Dear academia,
why am I afraid of the mirror?
Why did you teach me how
to write a perfect paper but
never prepared me for
the look in his eye when he told
me he didn't love me either.  Dear
academia, i'm ******* and you're
swallowing me, does the sting
of your impulses feel better
when you know you're eating
my hard earned money?  
Dear academia, why
do you give me empty promises?  Why
should I spill my blood with
this diploma, list
my ethnicity and birthdate
next to the insignificance
of what you think makes me
worthy, do
these details feed your
impending due dates or
are you just getting off
to the idea that
only the educated few
know how to
think straight?  Dear
academia,
I tried my hardest
to let you fool me, I
can feel your ego fattening
beside me as I watch your
children scramble for their
ideas of monetary
gluttony.  You're increasing
our wage gaps, do my late night
tears fuel your addiction to epistemic
poverty?  Dear academia, you
taught me to think critically.   I am on fire
with the matches you forgot
you hatched within
me.  Scorpions occasionally
eat their parents and I hate
to admit that this ****
has me hungry.

42.
Aged, but not old.
Handsome, but not boyish.
Passionate, but confused with this.

22.
Young, but wise.
Beautiful, but naïve.
Quiet, but not stupid.

20.
Years between us.
Does it matter? Said my brain
Let me speak. Replied my heart

3.
Months together.
No more.
No less.

0.
Time has stopped.
And what do I see?
A happily puzzled face,
Looking back at me.

I liked it when he pulled my hair
When he growled and sunk his teeth into my neck
An emotionless grudge ****
Without any love or bare skin

I liked it when he told me I was *****
When he laughed in my tired face
And pushed me to the couch
Smothered me with a pillow

I liked it when he owned me
When he turned me black and blue
In the heat of all his passion
And with his bare hands

I liked it when it hurt
When he smiled before he left for the night
Every moment that I loved him
The best moments of my worn out numb life