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 May 2015 Nik Bland
Kasey
Despite
 May 2015 Nik Bland
Kasey
Despite the fact that he doesn't drink coffee--
he hates the way it smells--
He sits in whatever coffee shop I am,
And watches me sip my coffee black.
So my soul has decided that this is love,
That this is truly love,
And I never had a say in the matter at all.
"I have found the one whom my soul loves"
There was black coming out slowly over my face

Actual words and sentences
A small picture of a smiley face


I involuntarily grinned back
Adding a black mole
- or was it a dimple?
- to the face



I write the things I am happy for
Because I lack people to be happy for



I think a bit more
And add in names of people I should probably talk to


'I will get around to talking to them eventually,'
I think now.
I hope I still do later.


I write some equations and mathematics reminders
- they make me feel peaceful


The universe calls out it is 4 AM

I hear the birds sing.



It's nearly dawn
- and my eyes smile back.
I was scared that my poetry would suffer as I was lifted from depression but here's to the creative process that can stand anything.

I have heard that "We accept the love we think we deserve," so I am going to try to start accepting love, even in small ways. This is literally a shout-out to all the people who have been leaving positivity everywhere on this site, in my life. I am going to rebuild my strength. That starts with seeing that even in my loneliness, there is joy and even with my joy, there is sadness, and accepting their duality.

Thank you to those people like Ketoma Rose, belleb, wolf spirit, Pradip C, Izshe, Olivia Kent, K Bala, Rai, Nik Bland, Timothy and so so many brilliant poets out there who remind me that there's strength in me still. And woah! I know I am missing out like a wholeeee load more, but that's pretty much all I am going to type in. Just know your sentiments are wholly and fully appreciated and that I go back to read some works and all comments at least once a week or when I'm feeling really low or something.

Also, this does not mean my sad poems go away. They'll still be here by the truck-load but I'll pitch a happy one in from time to time on this stupid long journey I've decided to undertake. Anyway, I hope the poets I mentioned see this or I am going to feel really stupid. Oh well. Sentiment still remains.
I don't know about the world
I have never believed in anything
anyone

But I believe in her

To the end of the universe
Because when the stars burn

And heaven decides it has had it
Hell wants me
My soul is shattered
And pulled everywhere at once

When I can't stop the shaking
The earth floor is pulled out
From beneath my feet

When my world fades
I look around furiously

But I cannot see what everyone else
Focuses on

And I cannot understand the colourless
World around me
Just blurs and shapes
With white noise surrounding me

Standing in the middle of a crossroads
With lorries bearing down
Without brakes
From all directions




My god,
I believe in her





*she'll be there
I don't think I've ever had anyone else
 Feb 2015 Nik Bland
Kasey
Oh to be loved by you.
To hear the whisper of the words slip up your lungs into your throat
And out of your lips.
And into the air around us, crawling into my ears and nestling
In my heart.
To be held safely, cherished in your arms.
Oh, to be loved--
Actually, honestly, loved--
By you who I love with an honorable, cherishing, true and unfailing love.
To be loved.
To be loved.
To be loved.
 Feb 2015 Nik Bland
Kasey
Because there's no silence in my world
Or peace,
It does not stop here.
The noise, drops of rain and
Screeching tires,
So visibly loud
I can't sleep in my own bed,
Do not
Stop
Growing
Living
Existing,
Here.
 Nov 2014 Nik Bland
JP Goss
Stare at the universe for a little while, you’ll see
Something resembling you and me: a quite sobbing vacuity
Draining all pellucid stars of luster and bravery.
I won’t be home for the rest of my life, hard as it is to take in,
Something went missing in what never was
That all the timbers strip away at the passing years
In anger and patience that slapped me in the face
When I said I’d never be happy again. My pockets are full
Of icy penance for crimes distance and apathy revealed.
Shimmer do the walks ways in the missing parts of the night sky
Shaped, somehow, by you and every blazing heart
Is a comet to earth: ******* vibrantly a poorly strung bandage.
And every light to cross the concourse of hopeless prophesy
And my constructs of relative suffering, an oil-light suicide.
History is always-already the behest of malignancy, but it’s sweet
The protection as I’ve weaponized every interaction to be,
We could have been cause-and-effect and danced like
Idols, gods, and fools in the sky of our experience, but
The God of Small Things, I, bear down on dis-eases rejection.
Like surgery, the tiny cells bereft of the cause of blood, the cause
Of complaint, can do nothing but new hearts reject.
 Nov 2014 Nik Bland
Tara Fear
You are my Kaleidoscope,
I look to you for change,
You are my Kaleidoscope,
Vivid, beautiful and strange,

I look to you for star dust, half moons and golden suns

You are my Kaleidoscope,
A wild array of colour,
You are my Kaleidoscope,
I stare through every blissfull hour,

I change my life, hope and dreams,
To reflect your ever-changing themes,
You are my Kaleidoscope,
A visit that is exquisite,

You are my Kaleidoscope,
I will never tire of what you show,
You are life and air to me,
To my eyes you are all they know.
consider                              your existence

justified    


if you have              won  one



heart
Never again
in the swirling maelstrom
will we dance together.
Your firey eyes
cut to the bone,
and in the flicker of a dying fire
I can barely see
that I am once again alone.
I once compared you to a fallen angel,
all glowing sword, and a fist
shaking in defiance of the heavens.
But, the horror, the horror of this sorrow
is a razored rain, falling in torrents.
I cannot ever touch you again.
I would rather drown,
in the blood, shed by this shower,
than to never again waver
in ecstasy, beneath the thrumming genius
of your potent power.
Oh, but sorrow, bitter sorrow,
I shall never again dance with you
in the swirling maelstrom.
Forgive me, lovely creature,
I knew not what I had done.
 Oct 2014 Nik Bland
Redshift
is that
heartburn in my chest
or is the battery acid seeping from my over-charged heart creeping back up
fighting to get out
expel itself from this sinking ship.

you don't ruin everything.
everything ruins someone
and everyone ruins something.
the circle of life
rides its line
ruthlessly
cutting into the track fate laid across my wrists.

you can't recharge dying batteries. leave them alone too long and they leak a hazardous acid
touch it, and it'll eat away at your fingers

just try and take it out of me.
i dare you.
try to make me better.
it'll eat away at you too,
just like it eats me.
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