no
no
go away
you've caught me at a bad time
no
no
not right now
I'm busy
so busy
my head is spinning
I can't hang out today
I'm busy breaking mirrors
I can't party all night long
I have to stain my bed with tears
I'd love to see a movie
But I'd rather see scars on skin
I could celebrate with you
but I'm choking on candy confetti
Why scream at a concert
when I can scream
my own self loathing and frustration
till my throat is raw
no
no
go away
I can't come out to play
I'm busy
so busy
dying and dying
and dying

For someone who is never leaving,
I say goodbye a lot
For someone who is never gonna stop loving you,
I deny my love a lot
For someone who needs you like a newborn needs to be fed
I push you away a lot.

For someone who counts every second from the moment i hear your footsteps fade
Till i see you again,
I pretend to be oblivious a lot.

For someone who is burning at the sight of you two together,
I wish you well a lot.
For someone who cries every night,
I still have a lot of hurt inside
For someone who is never going to be first on your list,
I expect a lot.

For someone who remains awake at night reminiscing the little details about you
I avoid any sort of eye contact with you a lot.

You never compromised.

Why should I?

You never gave up your dreams.

Why should I?

You never sacrificed.

Why should I?

You never...

Why would I?

**Because I love...

Maybe the thumping of my heart had not matched
the clicking of your steps because only then would it
explain the havoc on the floor.
It's not your fault, I'm sorry;
it simply fell out of my sleeve and you trampled over it.
Nonetheless, I'm tripping over you once again
but all I find is the pavement to catch me as I fall.

I think the most ****** up part is that
I don't even think what you did was terrible
I mean yeah it's terrible that you hooked up with another girl when you made it seem like you liked me
But maybe it was just a hook up
And maybe you look at me more than that

But that's the most ****** up part
That I'm okay with the fact that you hooked up
As long as the girl didn't mean anything

BUT IT SHOULDN'T ******* BE THIS WAY
I DESERVE SO MUCH MORE
THAN THIS
THAN YOU
I ******* HATE MYSELF FOR EVEN HAVING A LITTLE HOPE IN YOU
EVEN RIGHT NOW
AS I TYPE THIS
UGH
I HATE YOU SO MUCH

Early last night I took sleeping pills
Not because I couldn't sleep
But I didn't want to be up all night thinking about you
It was Christmas Eve and I wanted to be okay if I couldn't be happy
Thoughts of you make me sad

Even with the dizziness that sleeping pills brought,
my drowsy body, and my mental delay
I woke up in the middle of the night
because I thought I heard my phone vibrate
I thought you texted me
But I was wrong

Early last night I took sleeping pills
Not because I couldn't sleep
But because I didn't want to be up all night thinking about you