I'm laying here
Watching the lightening
and hearing the thunder
And I believe
the sky is my heart tonight.
For  I thought of you
and set my insides ablaze.

If lightening strikes metal
then surely my heart is titanium,
cracked and bruised.
And you are Zeus,
god of the skies,
sending a downpour
making my knees weak
in the storm.

I think Nicole is just in love with me
you said.
Yeah, right. As If I would ever fall for someone like you
I replied.
It was a lie,
Because as those words spilled from my lips
      my heart hopelessly spilled open for you.


and it falls further

Every time you catch my eyes
wandering to your jawline  
(it is quite often).
Every time you say my name
stressing it in all the right parts  
(stressing my heart as well).
and
Every time you walk out those doors
and I begin to count the days to when I will see you again  
(it is 18 days as of now).

Yes. Yes I am in love with you, you're right.*
I whisper.
But you are miles away,
And I am speaking to a memory.

Feeling fail.
A shallow discontentment
only brought about
by the success of others.
Challenges conspire.
Everywhere I look
beauty and joy
laughing
mockingly.
My poor body,
weak and restless,
struggling to breathe
under the pressure.
Water surrounds me,
pounding in my ears,
and it is done.

You say I burned your heart.
Well
Burning,
Like welding,
Is part of reconstruction.

and I'm in the same process myself.


If only I wasn't so sheltered to burn anyone who came close enough to feel my fire.

You tell me
Keep pressing forward
but how can I go on
when I've reached the end?
I have no faith left
I'm standing here
With my own two feet
at the end of the eternal line
and no strength left to take another step
for
from now on
each step will be on hot coals
they will burn.
I like here
where it is safe
by the fire
I can bid my time
until I turn around
and take the easy road
back to despair.