i'm trying to
rewind,
to start anew,
but every
word i use
is tied to a
particular
time, and i'm
stuck in that
line of history,
a never ending
story,  even
with a different pen,
crossing it out
and starting
again, i can't just
leave, maybe the
epiphany is that
we're always here,
that we grow up
in the same soil,
means we all
share in the
toil, that we create
it after all.

oh give it any name,
a martyr, king,
clown, fighter,
warrior, film star,
singer, cricketer...

but tell me
that the road
will last
this monsoon,

that it will not
soon resemble
the great craters
of the moon,

that you will
not dig up here,
suddenly
remembering
about some
buried gold...

tell me, will
I ever say-
*"let us walk
down our
good old
road again"

You took a trip with Lucy,
to leave a world of pain.
She showed you a kaleidoscope of colors, but just left you feeling insane.

And then you danced with Molly, under the flashing lights, but all that did was make you sleep with a different girl that night.

This girl was named Addy, you thought you'd finally found the one. She made you feel so motivated, like you could get anything done. Then she left your heart racing, and made sure you couldn't eat. After 3 days you finally left her, because she'd never let you sleep.

You met a girl so opposite, she went by Mary Jane, with her you felt so at ease, she took away the pain. But your mother didn't like her, and neither did your dad. After awhile you realized that she didn't make you feel any less sad.

So you run back to the other girls,
although they never left.
They aren't too hard to find
when they're always sleeping with your friends.
Just one call and the girls will be back into your bed.
They're hard to get rid of once you let them in your head.

Colour Blind

I don't see the colour of your skin.

I see
the colour of your heart.

Is it dark and putrid or
is it the color of a soft and lilting tune?
Is it filled with warm tones,
or cold?
Hues of ice and snow,
or gold?

Do you give or take?
Do you love or hate?

I don't see race or faith,
I just see you-
your energy, your words, your actions.

I see you; I just simply
see you.

I.

No, don't go now. Please
don't go now; the fog is creating ghosts
out of people and we're breathing clouds out of our mouths.
Tell me about that time when you held your breath
under the lake for six years and still survived;
tell me how if I do that, it'll never work.
I'm not a sea God
any more.

II.

My knees tell better stories than my tongue
ever did, please don't; wretched hive harangues
the mind in a plague, can't you see I'm holding you down
and telling you you're all I ever wanted,
you're all I ever wanted; your head is the stuff of dreams
you're all I ever wanted; you can put your arm
right through me and only feel mist;
I am fog. I'm creating ghosts out of you.

III.

Make it up to me in a rainbow of hues of grey;
at the end of it I'm holding my ribs open. I've never
been more colourful and sad at the same time.
You're the mirrors to my house; stay
has always sounded better than don't go

yet neither seems to work anymore.

Despite the heart which is froze
Hatred runs fluidly
Like the water in shattered glass
Like the blood in broken bones
Like the flames in our homes    
This hatred
It speaks to me
Like drugs to an addict

When it tells me to shoot
                                         I relapse and
                                       aim for the sky

I said..
In spite of my own humility
Hatred runs deeply
Like the roots beneath the dirt
Like the pain beyond the hurt
Like this poem before your eyes

I despise 
                Way too many lies
                And so little truth  

I said..
I hate beautiful  
It cripples me deeply  
For you are my pity
My pain and their pleasure

When I am high
                           I'll collapse and fall
                        Far from this place
                        Of rotten bliss

I said..
Look at me        
Blood misrepresents me    
For I am cut differently
This pain isn't felt
Like the emptiness
Residing in your cup
It is felt
Like a toxic
Living inside the gut
Like these words
Traveling directly
Towards the stomach

I mean..
             Although this addiction kills me
           Hatred is also the remedy
          It is all I need to truly appreciate
          The little love I have left.

how many times do you sit alone in your room whispering to yourself
"he doesn't love me"
over and over again
and when are you going to give up
and realize you've
been right all along.