You are whispering to me that you love me like:
- sinking into sleep
- mornings
- hot chocolate on a minus ten degrees
- the first touch
- the immersion of bare feet in warm summer sand
-  the dance of fireflies in June
-  a breather between two *******
-  a sincere smile between two denuded people

I write you a note on a slip of paper, as if I was a kid.
That I love you
Like a quilt on a minus fifteen degrees.
Like a inspiration.
Like a inception of the will.
Like a"Jaffa" biscuits and restful sleep.
Like a flowering cherry tree and glowing nut from a wild chestnut tree.
Like a sudden wonder.
You're asking me whether you are my sudden wonder.
Little, ragged wonder.
Yes, you are, I answer.
You love being my little ragged wonder.

You are asking:
For my nape and chin.
Top of my head  and lips.
Embrace of a careful lumberjack.
You want chin-caress.
For five minutes.
Intensively!

i feel like a bird with 2 broken wings
a knife twisted in my heart
cutting through my soul's strings
broken and shattered with no armour i stand
my pieces can't be put together
I'm no puzzle or spelling bee letters
shattered glass sits on the floor with my reflection torn apart with it
like every piece of me lies beneath my feet
within my reach
but I'm too weak
i can't pick up any piece
my heart still broken with only stitches to fix
i lay down my heart to the broken things list
where i had laid my soul once and my thoughts once
now my heart belongs there
where it hopefully will be repaired
im so scared of the life i will have to face
im an exploding star turning into a black hole
taking the life out of every light like a machine
like I'm made of steel
and i feel like every time i try to touch the light i consume it ,
break it and break every inch of me too
thats what a super massive black hole would do
I'm just like a monster
i still feel used
my eyes are tired of crying
they burn like the fire inside me
my tears had run out like the ocean that once ran through me
i lay down wishing for help
crying out , looking for a friend

You never really know how strong you are until you're alone,
crying and forced to pick yourself up off the floor.
That is when you can truly see how big your emotional muscles are
and I promise
they are bigger than you ever thought possible.

I want to ask
What reminds you of me?
But if you were to ask me back
I couldn't pick one thing
Because my mind likes to bring
Everything back to you
But then maybe my answer is
That I remind myself
Of you

I wish my
lips could
be sewn
shut with
a blood red
needle &
thread,
a visible
display
of how I
feel on my
worst of days
when I
want to
lock myself
away,
when words
are strangers
exchanging
kisses across
lips & hearts
are graveyards
burying
broken
promises.