one time a boy told me he liked my straight hair better
i told him but that's not my natural hair
i felt insulted
and he said "what are you talking about?"
"i'm complimenting you"
i brushed it off
put the thought away
but as i stare in my reflection
as i touch the coarse, thick curls
my mother and father bestowed upon on me
passed down from generations
of mexican ancestry
i felt the hurt
i felt the words in my head
"maybe if your hair was straighter
lighter
maybe if your skin was lighter
maybe if your nose was smaller
and pointed"
maybe then i would be the perfect
version of myself
but as i began to notice
flowers sprouting in the women around me
loving, appreciating their thick untamable manes
my mind began to flourish
away from the deception
i had been told my whole life
a bold lie
that changed the perception of myself
that made me scrub my skin in attempt to make it lighter
a lie, so discreet and so subtle
that my self esteem descended to nothing
when looking at the natural reflection of my skin, my hair, my eyes, my hands
as a child
as a teenager
i believed the lie
but as a young woman now
i can tell you
it's deception, oppression
to keep woman of color
at inferiority to the european white
embrace your curls
embrace your melanin
embrace your wide set hips
embrace all the things you were once told to hide
i will be who i was born to be
and i don't need anyone's opinion
on how my hair looks
this is who i am
a mexican daughter
wise enough to recognize
the strength and beauty in our differences