"do you love me?"
"i did once."

i complain about the wall between us
but i am the one who built it

the heat of the spotlight
shines on my face
searing off the fear
and melting away my skin that hosted the lies of the day
to reveal the raw truth
that is my gift

and now i am back to where i started
an empty head
an empty heart
with empty words
and empty poems

and hands that just want something to do.

they are there (together)
and i am here (alone)
and yet the earth keeps spinning
and the clock keeps ticking

i wish i was still able to remember
what it felt like to be in your arms.
if only you were here to remind me.

(in memory of when)
the thick summer air pooled around my shoulders melting
me into the swing set,
where my feet dragged the ground whenever i swang
and a girl in a yellow dress sat
next to me her legs sprawled out across the ground,
allowing the grass to kiss her skin
like a mother saying goodbye to her child one last time
and like i would to her as the sun set that night.

(in memory of when)
i sat on my roof and mourned that night
as the stars sang a hymn only i could hear
because the girl in a yellow dress was a bird
and decided this town was just another cage,
one that she could no longer be trapped in.

(in memory of when)
i wanted to go after her
my very being pulling at the edges
to grasp her hand as though it was my very lifeline
but my feet stood cemented in the ground
and she soared high above.

(in memory of when the girl in the yellow dress flew away)