I’ve always hated winter.
That sharp cold wind blowing upon my skin
The violent crunch below my boots
As I watch my every step

Yet like all things,
A season is just a season
And what must come must go
Yet even the most futile things,
I try to hold on so desperately

Like a frayed rope,
Begging to tear apart,
My palms turn red with desperation
As my arms refuse to give out

Why put effort in fragile things?
Fragile things break apart and leave you
Until you yourself become fragile
And break apart as well

Every so often,
That same dark fur appears again
Crawling around the bright green benches,
It reaches for the nearest bin
To eat the remains of what once was

Under the shade of an autumn’s day,
People whom I don’t know walk pass
Their eyes seem to linger for a second too long,
Onto the lonesome being known as me

But you,
The single black cat who searches for scraps,
Are my only acquaintance in this strange routine
You never reach me, nor I reach you
Yet I do try

Though perhaps you’ve chosen to ignore that
And I place no blame upon your small shoulders
We are simply two interlopers,
Interwoven in this society where we do not belong

So, dear black cat,
Whomst name I do not know,
Come linger a little longer,
In my futile attempt

To belong.

A day spent under the sun,
Only for it to wallow back into its cave
The feeling on my skin still on fire
With that touch you gave me that day

But once sunlight passes,
And the cold dry winds start to blow
my shoulders dip down slowly
The doubt in my mind melts like snow

Your eyes start to feel kinder,
with words that strike like a blunt knife
An old familiar feeling wells in my stomach
I wonder if you'd like to be in my life

But once clockwork resumes,
And sleep wells up in your eyes
I look towards the door, and we part ways,
Under the cool darkness of the night skies

Like a lowly lit candle, it simmers and brews,
Yet the feeling is soon vanished,
When the morrow comes creeping through

A merry go round of feelings,
With a thousand faces upon your skin
We both know we'll never get along
But I don't want to look back and think of what we could've been

Perhaps one day, under the lack of stars in the sky,
As we part ways- I take your hand in mine
And ask you to stay longer, just for a little while
Then you'd look into my eyes, searching for a sign

And maybe you'd find out that I'm lonely
Begging for a flame to warm me at night
And just maybe you'd say "alright"
Cause maybe we were both lonely

That silent summer night

even great empires,
must fall down some day
but i’d never imagine
it would end up this way

the candle; dimmed low
has finally burned down
the ties have been broken
and at night, there’s no sound

for you’ve left me, it’s true
and time-to-time, tears do fall
yet my eyes still shine bright,
and i still do stand tall

so, my dear love,
i must confess to you this

i’ll keep living on
and find my own form of bliss

it’s an undercurrent
simmering below the simple gestures
stares that linger a bit too long
touches with no apparent reason
odd questions just to hear my voice
i feel it.
the undercurrent of your attention
slow yet there
small but rising
i’m not stupid.
i know it’s nothing.
the undercurrent is scented with doubt.
as always.
doubt, curiosity, estrangement
just a simple **** on my shoulder.
it may wash away or it may grow.
i don’t know if it will overflow.

i won’t wait for years.
(but i will keep my eyes on you)

The candle's dimmed so low,
and the wind’s starting to grow
I thought it’d be a lonely night,
so why do I feel alright?

our bridges didn’t burn down,
you didn’t set my heart ablaze
why was I so afraid,
if you’re still going to stay?

nothing has changed,
and i can’t believe it’s so
i thought you’d run away...
again, you make me feel this way

unpredictable, exciting,
yet so gentle in my heart.
I’ll accept this denouement.
this gentle end, apart.

i hate it,
that you gaze upon another
while i’m sitting here, upon you,
as just another bother

i know i’m nothing,
you even say it’s true
it’s sickening
that I keep thinking about you.

i’ve given up too many times.
years of waiting, uneventful
i hate it as much as i hate him,
but i don’t want to hate you too

i want to shower you with love,
with appreciation and wonder.
but i don’t think thats possible,
with you like you are now.

so leave me be, as I stay in deep.
roam in my head, again once more
trying to find another connection,
this wall i’ve built, now torn.

i tried so hard, yet effort wasted
my love so wide, yet don’t value a ton
these months have felt like centuries,
and now they amount to none.

you’re gone, i have to accept that.
and we’re done, i have to move on.
so as i walk away, my head still down,
will i ever find another one?