i hate it,
that you gaze upon another
while i’m sitting here, upon you,
as just another bother

i know i’m nothing,
you even say it’s true
it’s sickening
that I keep thinking about you.

i’ve given up too many times.
years of waiting, uneventful
i hate it as much as i hate him,
but i don’t want to hate you too

i want to shower you with love,
with appreciation and wonder.
but i don’t think thats possible,
with you like you are now.

so leave me be, as I stay in deep.
roam in my head, again once more
trying to find another connection,
this wall i’ve built, now torn.

i tried so hard, yet effort wasted
my love so wide, yet don’t value a ton
these months have felt like centuries,
and now they amount to none.

you’re gone, i have to accept that.
and we’re done, i have to move on.
so as i walk away, my head still down,
will i ever find another one?