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  Mar 2018 Anastasia
abby
I know that it's hard
You can feel the anger and frustration rising up from your core
unsure of whether it will seep out of your eyes or your lungs
You're not sure how to react
Do you tear down everything in sight
or do you crawl into bed for the rest of the week
letting yourself fall into darkness

The reality is, you'll do both
Some days you'll want to yell at the top of your lungs
You'll want to throw rocks at windows
rip all your pictures and throw them in the fire
And on other days you'll want to be left alone
in the warm comfort of your bed
with a box of tissues and the saddest music you can find

I know you don't understand why it had to be you
Why you had to be the one to feel so broken
Out of all the people in the world
What did you ever do to deserve this
You'll feel tempted to blame yourself
for the hurt caused by someone else

It's not your fault
It's not your responsibility to control their actions
The fact is, you can't change what happened
As much as you want to, you can't turn back time
What's done is done
Now you're left in the rubble
I know that that's not fair
Nothing seems fair enough

Everything will hurt
Getting up in the morning with a fake smile
Watching the people in your life so full of joy
Forcing yourself to do anything but wallow in pity
It's not easy
You need to give yourself more credit
I know that when you say you're doing okay
you probably aren't, and that's okay

It won't be okay for a while
I wish I could tell you it will but that's not true
It will **** today, tomorrow and the next day after that
You'll have happy days, but you won't be happy

You may not believe it or even want to hear this but
at some point, you'll wake up and it'll hurt a little less
At the end of the day, you are the person you're left with
You will learn how to let yourself feel better
because if you don't, who will?
You don't deserve to feel sad forever
You deserve the chance for happiness
You deserve it all
I'm rooting for us
Anastasia Mar 2018
If I were a scientist
I’d build a time machine
So I could stop time and not have to wake up with the weight of our memories on my chest in the morning.
I’d build a time machine
So that I could go back to the day we met and take a different way home.
I’d build a time machine
So I could go back to the day you wanted to leave, and I’d let you walk away instead.
I’d build a time machine
So that I could kiss you one last time
So that I could wake up to you one last time
So that I could feel your love one last time
I’d build a time a machine
So that I could skip ahead to the day that you are just a memory. The day that I won’t remember the taste of your lips, and what color your bedroom walls were. I’d skip to the day that I don’t love you anymore, and it doesn't hurt to wake up in the morning.
I wish I never met you
Anastasia Mar 2018
It was 5am.
“You’re not sleeping?”
I woke up, electricity running up and down my arms,
I curl my legs up closer to my chest and hide under my covers.
I’ll be safe here.
I twist and turn, shake and rock.
Why didn’t you lie?
The bad thoughts keep coming back like magnets.
I wish you lied.
My bones are sinking into my childhood mattress.
“Here we go again,” I know this all too well.
It’s just a chemical thing.
So I’ll just try to get my head straight.
And in the meantime,
I’ll be missing you.
If you cared, you would've lied. right ?
  Mar 2018 Anastasia
zoie marie lynn
7:43
and i’m trying to not write your name,
you never appreciated my rhymes
maybe that’s why your name doesn’t rhyme with anything.
7:44
and i’m thinking of someone new,
someone better than you
i swear just one more drink then i’m through.
7:45
and i’m out of my mind,
head over heels for someone who’s not even mine
and once again i’m forced to leave you behind.
7:46
and your name makes me sick,
you’re such a
and i’m beyond over you and your heartless tricks.
7:47
and she makes me feel like i’m in heaven,
thank god you showed me hell
thanks to you my swollen heart's getting well.
7:48
i realize it all now but it’s too late,
you’ve already played your promiscuous game
thankfully she told me she loved me and stayed.

(god, in five minutes so much has changed)
it's a vicious cycle you see...
collecting hearts to mend your own
  Mar 2018 Anastasia
G
green eyes and blue jeans,
lips like a mint dream.
crew necks and boxer briefs,
hands to touch me gently.
love me, love me,
hug me and hold me,
against your freckled cheeks;
don't ever set me free.

-a girl thats needy
  Mar 2018 Anastasia
Ruby Nemo
crank the bass to beat away the day
my memory is infected
paranoid of a repercussion
waiting for minutes on end, but no one answers
feel the rhythm through each streetlight as
they sway left to right
I'm l o s t in the night
only a few things to keep you out
indulging in changing news
and stuffing my days with silence
incorporate my feelings in their lousy poems but I
could write them better.
thoughts infiltrate a peaceful brain
turn it up, drown it out
first step is finding time
then finding a place
then staying quiet
move in sudden bursts
no color, only black and white
hit the road but through tinted eyes
music moving me more than you ever could
stay away, I constantly pray
in your world, finding a new lover just
means a new problem so
I'll swim solo for now
cranking up the bass, calling out to the single walker
step aside before I fall
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