I am not a drinker
but
today I am drunk with pain
hurt,
tears,
and  hell

I just think loudly:

- how does it feel to dream of her on the edge of our bed,

I wonder,
how do you feel when you dream of her
while I am breathing like a tired mushroom,
tired of waiting for the wind to blow on the flowers pampered by the sun,
- melted on the edge of the dull  bed waiting for your hands to pick it up,


all this time my lungs were  full of anticipation

the shoulders filled other times with kisses
now entered the column of infinity,


you don't have to feel bad, or
feel like a liar
what I write here is just a thought for myself:

- I understand,

and I understand that you search for what you alone don't know
when believing that happiness is waiting for you on tender,
and
you told me that you both are cut for each other
and it is not a coincidence you lied to her that we are separated,
and we are married for too long, twenty-six  years,
and you opened an account,
what we have is not enough for you,
I understand,
craving for another  motherfacker like you,
craving for bigger happiness,
when I am at work 12hours,
you work from home and get bored
every day, I come home
but
you come from skating, like a teenager
you walk our dog with her
and spend coffee, dinner time
when I enter the house you pretending to cook dinner for me,
when I tell: - You are lying to me mather**
you tell me: - you are crazy,
yes,
I do believe lies can make someone crazy

I understand this world got mad,
but
I didn't expect this madness in my home
sneaking in like a ghost

It would have been much simpler if I didn't understand you,
I could scream at you, cry and be hysteric,
threaten you that I will **** you, throw the glasses,
to arouse your pity, pain, and regret that you will lose me,

I understand,
what could you do when I invaded you with so many dreams,
is she also a seamstress, a collector of dreamers, or a matherfucker

I wonder, not that I'm jealous,
why would I be jealous of lies,

I just wonder,

how do you dream about her? -
where the thought enters her,
through narrow eyes like shirt cuffs,
or lips as thin as  the edge of a glass,
or through the torn heart like a  fir tree,

or you fly, as we ones
do you remember
how you told me on the small, narrow bed in the student dormitory
crowded and happy:
”My love, all your dreams are mine."

I wanted today to write a letter and  thank this person for doing me a big favor and freeing me from a lier

Please take him
and keep him
as a gift

that believe
that happiness can be found by telling lies
over
and over again
and that you can start a relationship by lying
over
and over
again
playing the smart *******

over
and over again
on the brake of your lies

in an even more distant land
where love is a devil eating chains
at a big banquet
hope, a hungry wolf admiring him with lust,
I will go to a country
where souls are called like soldiers in an unconscious war
underground
the curse, a gentle baby suckled by the grass
****** death,  our joy
anger, flying stars
fear, dancing bride
tears broken kisses from victoria waterfall
rain, crayfish in tomato sauce,

let's get rid of this winter
I'm ready to do anything
but anything,
I"ll make death from the water
and  life from the swords,
red blood  shine like the sun,

white and beautiful
this winter wants everything to look like mastery that caresses our eyes,
bears in a den,
when I feel crying like a naughty child
I will go far, far away...
where the earth trembles under your voice
and sad eyes  hug like two prayers on the streets of philadelphia

is the only woman who opens our eyes
so we can see life
under the furrow
gently
the morning  undresses from the fog
cows ruminate the piled up grass in front of them
birds sing again
calling each other for bride”s dance,
the snow doesn't want to leave,
a truck god scatters salt on the road
the sea has no tears to cry
while
the brook under the bridge wipes its eyes with a murmur
  hearts are full like strawberry jam jars
poets,  baby rabbits, ***** up their ears
behind the hill
flying and drinking the waters of heaven
dew on spring lips, - diligent girl
does her job with a lot of patience
when death is reborn

like a wind that burns your chest
we did it again
we  did it the same
again
soul made from the mother's milk soul, hold me
cover me
wrap me in your clay
like a lost child weeping in the streets
without villages, cities
without a country
or a mother
born in war
warm me in your nest under the eaves
you know? sometimes you can't be found  anywhere
and even i know we are not from here
and all is fado, - meat in the ditch
grave in the sea
i'm still looking for you everywhere
then
i return to our house in the air
in the air

life is like a well-compressed gunpowder

one match is enough, bang, immediate effect,  blows everything up
you give it space, you leave too much room
you will not see a spark,

likewise, when the man suffers the spirit is constrained
to wake up
explode, strive
ready to hear when the person moans, whimpers at night

in pain, the spirit rejoices in its own language
and why he wouldn't enjoy
when there is enough work to do for the next hundred years
to dig up the springs
raise the stars (like night)
or like the wind
to sway the waves of the sea to the shore

man, man

you search yourself and you search  yourself for life
the same as when macaca is searching for lice:

- with the monkey sister you nibble on your belly
- with the monkey brother you nibble on your back

- the monkey god
after getting tired of stealing (from tourists):
slippers, sunglasses, bags
lipsticks, thong *******
it goes up on your head
to lice you a little bit more
to tickle your scruff

you're looking for her
but she's right there
where else to be
when carried away by the waves
in white snow
discovering
the wind

only you know, humble and hungry dog
the insatiable as you do expect
to lick her legs, and
only you know
that
you promised her round two
(when you already gave it all in round one)

oh, man, man

you are looking, and looking for yourself

macaca shakes its hand: - if you have nothing better to do

look




. |

the universe
it is
a superb creation
perfect
elegance
majestic

while
in its random reality
one thing is certain:
- it is the worst construction
constructed
ever, who believes
doesn't know-
many constants
of arbitrary coupling
mass ratios
families
and families, and families of useless particles
& dark matter, - chewing gum on a stick

gross fact

the universe exists

pregnant abyss
established chain
a fire that breathes equations
while the truth is looking for its head and tail

certainly

by wandering the mind
hallucinating
it cannot be canceled

- the crime of thoughts
it is not its death

wet, wandering free on the streets,
sly, you looked into my eyes exaggerating with a cough: - i think i'm getting a cold,
isn't it the best rain,
the best day,
hug,
in the warmth of a hug, we melted like butter in each other's arms,
it was spring,
and it was the saturday before easter,
an aunt selling flowers on the sidewalk in the voivodeship park
she pointed out to us: - what a lack of education,
look at them, wet and without common sense
and respect, they kiss in the eyes of the world
today, on a easter saturday,
today's youth is  in disarray,
(she looked around seeking consolation, approval from passersby)



he was the lover that every woman carries within her from birth,
he caressed not as if he longed to be satisfied as a skilled lover,
he was soft and tender as a little kitten,
all he wanted was to stay inside her forever: without getting lost,
without taking up space, silent, without demands, pretensions wanted to stay there like a zygote,
a single cell resulting from the fusion of gametes,
without mouth, without eyes, lips, nose,
just  an embryo with a large forehead
which began the life cycle immediately after fertilization
and continues to weave the organs, the body (like when the bees  build the hive)
to mix life, the light that passes only through her womb.



he suddenly jumped up and down:
- this must be the realm between heaven and earth,
he started telling me everything he remembered,
yes everything
it was as if he was rolling like a snowball towards his own center

a knock on your door

  open the door

tonight the presence returned

let the steps lead you to the other side of the door

make your way
trough the light of rocking branches, nursing little buds
in the distance
the snow caresses their sleep
the wind
from time to time
is shaking the remnants of fright

  shards of crystal on the floor

between
no and yes

when you hear a knock on your door

open the door

consider the invitation

if i ever wanted to start over, where would i go:
- i return to the balcony on patrice lumumba street,
on the third floor, i see two ruins around our souls,
modern talking, brother louie is playing,
i wrap myself around your fingers like slimy playdough,
we go home, i see the apple tree in the cemetery, we pick apples:
- let me kiss you on your lips, let me kiss, - we are friends too,
i try to remember what i was looking for among the crosses and owls,
your mother was taking the cheese pies out of the hearth,
it's getting dark, we've put everything together,  waiting for her to fall asleep,
everything that happens, the tray falls and the bread shovel falls from the nail,
deadly silence on the village road, since then
we meet every ten years across the road
speechless, i look at you, you look at me,
father vasile sprinkles holy water, sanctifies the graves.

i wonder
what we would do without eternity,
and flight
on a red brick road
we walk hand in hand, - warm bones,
skin as soft as marrow,
two lions chasing the same prey, we sweat,
wrought iron in quarantine, -
it takes me with cholera symptoms: global fever, eyes pushed  in the back of my head,
extreme thirst, dry mouth, wrinkled skin (pinching, not  responding)
heart
an electric hammer, - do not dare to come,
do not dare to come, sit on your half of the globe, with the clear sky,
here, the days take care of themselves,
they get where they want to get, - like lost doves among tourists feet
i'm following the crumbs,
owls know the hours well, the seconds,
they are also where they need to be,
i don't know what brought you to me,
i don't know what got me to you,
many are coming to ask,
they also want a birthmark from an old tattoo
coffee with milk on your shoulder (mine,
being hidden far away  from the eyes of the world)
we are lottery *****  mixed in all possible ways, and impossible
words, thoughts, lips,  at a conference
we sneeze from thought to thought, - i bow to the audience,
i take the handkerchief out of my pocket, and
whisper  in a low voice: "this is how my man finds me”
i continue to present the lesson on "how to survive in eternity"
i send some dreams through icao isa atmospheric model,  - we dream,
we are on a ship, we go out to sea
a bunch of kids are waiting for us at home to come with food,
(honestly, i hoped for a dramatic ending, i just didn't get it,
for the moment i leave it as it is,
today is today
72-21-2202)

because it  burns  you
you don't like the sun
and the shadow doesn't buy a story,
It knows its edges and the milky ways,
attached to a leaf tail
chlorophyll counts its rays,
***** energy from its light,
- we grow elephant ears,
our heads have shrunk like the peak of a needle
bifurcated,
time does not lie
instead of being permanently bent
head
now it is one meter above the ground
hands / feet / thighs
we do everything we want in upright bipeds
yes,
to get out of africa
we walked thousands of years until we  picked up "the first thumb up"
then again we walked thousands of years,
we raised the thumb up again
thousands of years ... thumb (up) drive one gigabyte,

time does not lie

- i saw you at the țoțora in the polk of medhorotsky,
with the toma from brăila digging  ditches to keep your feet lower,
at a french carnival, you loved a girl and called her by the name
consuelo, mon amour, consuelo, - you wielded swords,
used feathers to write (with the blood) on a soap bubble
you were looking for

the time that does not lie

did you say:

- the night is just beginning to taste like molasses
- from afar, you see love like a bloated balloon lost in the distance
- to recognize the shape of the earth, i have to feel the stars beneath my feet,
to see the one above my head
- people are programmed to see faces even in sandwiches,
to believe strange things, that they can walk on the water or
like in little prince  to believe a talking fox: “though the eyes are eyes, they cannot see,
only the heart can,
tame a flower, and you”ll see that time does not lie ... ”
then what can you expect from the sun
when it burns like a madman in the wilderness and dances like a *****,

hallucinate

they say we are 13.7 billion light-years from the edge,
how  the sun not to like you when it heard you singing a song without a sound,
so simple and clear,
and now every morning it brings you a basket of jackfruit at the gate,

be ”the edge” truth or assumption,
”the foam that forms us and breaks into a vast cloud of styrofoam bbs” (Ken”s words)
who knows, otherwise
it seems that we are close to knowing the real shape of the earth:
jump up, fall on it, is  not  moving,
standstill and solid,
it doesn't matter which way you want to go
you can go in any direction
go far enough
go as far as you can
you will always reach the ocean

did you say:
- we live on an island

i will see you, my love
soon
i will see you in a windless country, in a thoughtless world,
with swords, we”ll cut off all roads in the air, from the earth
with our eyes, we”ll dress them up  in feathers of rio abre-alas,
open wings
one day soon, in the valley on the farm
seduced by the dry edge of the grass
crushed under the earth furrow we”ll forget about ourselves,
we”ll fall like a snow belt in the winter, slow, slow,
lazy to get lost in goosebumps, yellow,
create and raw, soon
the sun will call us to a world where love is truly blind
and deaf,
and mute,
and putrefied like an old woman,
older than stone,  birds, air
water
red angels, maybe one day soon
soon
our love will be easy,
so eeeeeeeasy
as easy as blue cheese mold on the tongue,
like a blues that is digging our thirst at night
like a lip gloss broken with a pointed nose,
warm, soft *******, sweet steam resting on the needles of time
caressed by two strands asleep in the stillness of white *******,
milk carved in palm lines,
hungry orphans,
beggars built in the breath of your chest, we will die
we will die, one day soon
and, you”ll come again with your forehead up, your swaying walk,
oh, your swaying walk, no eyes, no air
it will be easy to bite your lips
touch your hard beard
in a distant world where there are no storms
no thoughts
one day soon, one day
maybe

it's as light as snow,
the steep hill
when the sun rises must not move a finger,
obedient child, the earth wears its white feathery garment,
putrefied by the wet tears,  no need to raise  up my  eyelids,
to speak, to be silent, to nod when i listen,
- like a newborn wrapped in diapers i let the snow cover my green eyes,
when you say: not today. not tomorrow.
i don't  need to cry,
i look at the world smiling and say to myself: what a miracle, what a blessing,
i don't have to do anything of those things,
i don't even have to expect a breeze, the touch of a ladybug on my hand,
and ”never ”, and ”nothing” becomes so much, so much
so much lighter than a stone arrow,
except,
we still see ourselves in the eyes of forgotten children
among the flowers
even so, everything is much easier, all of a sudden
it gets easier, and easier, now,
when we are about to get older
wise.

razor touch
gillette mach3 built with maximum precision
steel on the beard,
the cheek that seeks the skill of the one who
wants to feel the heart in the palms,  
long black night
calling the stars
birds
to taste your color: - scar
leaking in his left eye, like  zoro
you do like to fight
while
she's a larva for you
soft beetle
wingless abdomen that emits light
to give birth to your flight

destined sacredness in the red of the blood,
intertwined shoots from the wisdom of redemption:

- Woman,
no one has ever trusted us more than the good God,
he entrusted us with all his love, with the seed of the worldly fruit,
by his favor we find delight,

- Man,
no one has ever trusted us more than the good God,
he has entrusted us with the source of life,
with all his indulgence he entrusted us,

- let”s never withdraw our holiness, Man
- let”s never forget our purpose, Woman

God has given us all His strength, Man
- That's right, Woman, he gave us all his forgiveness,
his ways, his eyes, his light,
he gave us the whole life in one endless night,
he gave us the potency of sharing  the joy and pleasure of being Man&Woman

- Man, the woman in me is just for you
- Woman, the man in me is just for you

He lives in our eyes, heralds of love affairs,
take me in your arms, Man - come close to Him,
lay your cheeks on my ******* eagerly waiting for your lips,
what a hard-working man you are, listen to a woman's heavy breathing,
a flame that burns in your diligence born of sighing and yearning:
bathe in the richness of the perpetuation of eternal life,
quench your endless thirst in the belly full of sap and fruit,

- look into my eyes, Man
- look into my eyes, Woman

Woman of the holy ray, - come near Him,
let your ear be heard in the beating of the ******* worthy of kisses from the rain,
in the land of peonies, I will be the gardener of your red cheeks,
I promise you everything you want, that you are a woman
I will be a river of honey that flows through the fruitful blood,
-we are his equals, Woman, he built us creators like Him

Generous and dignified Man,
- promise me not to withdraw our holiness from each other,
I'll bring you my lips every night,
rose petals to cover your eyes dazed by the pleasure of bed in two;
the witness of carnal pleasure.
let us give ourselves as if we were living the last moment of delight:

- Man, no one has ever been so generous with us
- Woman, no one has ever been so good to us

- by the command to love one another
he entrusted us with his Holy Ornaments, Man

- he entrusted us with the Source of his Life, Woman

what are you doing? darling,
how are your thoughts, but your words? today
I have a word with you, just one word, and not an ordinary one,
but a human one, like a confession, darling, let's better forgive ourselves,
wild days, no matter how hard we try we won't stop them,
we stand face to face (we can't forgive each other backward)
we can't afford to be the dwarfs in words,
nor hiding in thoughts guarded by saints,
let's  face God and bow our heads in comforting looks
we forget that we have knees, - only earth, a lot of earth,
a lot of earth under our feet and touch, - fingers touch, eyes touch, lips,
let's spread our wings,

We're flying, you'll see, I won't think about where you are or who I'm with,
think about it, if we forgive ourselves now everything will remain the same,
we will love each other innocently, like two children: with our eyes, our thoughts, our dreams,
heartbeats, tender smile, hand touch, we will love playing
I will not get sick of you and you will not get sick of me
you won't forget the flowers at the florist,
and the sun will rise only for the sunflowers

the earth will not shake underneath
think about it, if we forgive ourselves now, it will be just the two of us
among love in between loves, among feelings in between feelings
holding hands like two wise man&woman,
we will reach the time that was not born or passed,
better let's forgive ourselves now
we forgive ourselves as two sincere elders before dying

an opened war,
-  a fair enough war
that starts  in the sky,  and
ends up in your eyes,
sun,
grass,  
everywhere, - eyes war
everywhere, 
( - honestly?
are you sure that you want to **** me?)

the master of the dawn said: - it's strange to be here
on the black lips of the field,  and the evening caught up in between the drops,
with the black trees making me shiver, - Kalos Gheron all dressed up in wet clothes,
blowing hair in the sky and a long beard rooting in the ground,
without cravings and sandals, penetrated by rain, crushed by worries
at the farm, takes the cows to pasture, - the mystery has not left them,
in peace, they ruminate wisely,
the master of the dawn said: - it, also, will snow tomorrow at the fair.


it's  morning in the broken smile by tender snow, by strange snow,
heroic, simple, altruistic, without a doubt, the snow
is sleeping on the branches with the  hearing and sight of a partridge,
under the selfish blue sky, a trumpeter improvises,
- the aristocratic fields parade their white robes,
and the deer you saw last night is lying naked on the blind grass,
waiting for the groom in feather flakes to come,
two stars slip in her eyelashes gently whispering:
- down at the spring the lord of heaven cries out to us,
the time to receive the prayer (until dawn) arrives,


the master of the dawn said:- with him I realize how to overcome any fear,
and how his fantasy rotates, thaws the mist into white locks, (like a trumpeter playing
outside the scene with extinguished effect) at the call of the stars
the lord of heaven calls us.

the raindrops  commit suicide  on the window
as if they wanted to wash the goodbye signs
with the blood of the water,
- the rain today carries swords like a samurai,
kills the morning
the horizon is a simple bandana ******* on the eyes,
don't worry, in case if you don”t come
i will understand, - we will be others,
with  their words,
their lips, their smell
their mornings, - sometimes
dressed up in discreet clothes sometimes naked
on the knees,
or dragging our elbows (as in a war)
elbows gnawed by others like us,
their rain
will bring back the good splashes
for the lonely one like us,
not the single one
in a blister of days,

finally
it's raining

it's unfair to hate the morning
- it's unfair to hate,
because
neither the new nor the old
after burning the night
this day does not return in vain,
this day is a good day to be: a leaf
scribbled by the blue of the sky,
green sprawling on the ground, the sea
turned upside down (steam hanging from the sky
mornings), - today i woke up
with all colors of mine caressing  the faint frost on the top of the grass,
dressing up for the winter, wood and smoke rodents,
- to lighten up  the agate eye
i did not  forget the summer flowers either,
colored dust and water
"holi diwali", smiles in clay lanterns, lost kiss in rangoli
- ah, darling,
do not forget,
this day is a good day to be your favorite color,  like
the color of the sky,  of the sun,  earth, or grass ...

you will never know where you forget it
or lose it,
the night is an overstuffed  suitcase
that you never know when it will open wild,

i saw you walking, even more,
i touched you a little with my elbow
everywhere
on the platform it opened like the mouth of a boa constrictor,
i see me running with a red ribbon in my hand,
for the first time we are face to face
overwhelmed by our presence
we become dwarfs: ”poems, poems,… how much lipothymia,
these poems really did it to us, it brought us into exasperation ”- you bite your chapped lips,
i look at your fingers, searching  to hold a cigarette between your lips
no words
naive, i repeat "stay, stay", the train is coming
it's time to live, you lift your suitcase (tightly tied)
i see a rabbit with wet, bright eyes running,

it's autumn, the leaves are like red ***** hanging in the trees,
i clench my teeth, my hands, my eyes tighten, again
determined i want to squeeze all the pain (i would make a fat must),
i want to slap my face,
so, i wake up
to remember how in school i had to learn the names of every war battle,
to learn the name of each river, bridge,
the name of each soldier,
if i knew them, i would be given a red pioneer tie
(which needed to be ironed and kept close to my bed)
at night
stuffed like an old suitcase
the train leaves,
as if through the fog I see you on the platform: - do you want a cigarette,
- thank you, i don't smoke.

(the smoke rolls like a boa constrictor)

this morning
when the sun hit in the window for good, burning; my lips, cheeks
shoulders, *******,
skin
i opened
the eyes -
and i saw how we lost one of our lives -
all that remained was thirst
until the sun-cracked from our burning lips
⁃ we snuck into it to pluck the stars for them,  - lives
that
remained
non-stolen mornings

p.s. ️️️don't forget what you promised me

as you want

non-existence,
yours,
beautiful/old/beautiful/ugly/young/ death woman/
madam -
it does not make any difference,
It doesn”t

tell me what you want, how you want,
- if it makes you feel good
make me the 13th day of the month, year, century,
i know, this year you weren't unlucky enough
tell me how you want: - morbid, bone marrow disease,
cold-lipped monastery,
the wanderer of wandering poems,
the beloved from the workshop, - considered
unsatisfactory,

steal everything you want: questions, thoughts,
eyes, lips, sleep,
- you can be speechless,
consider yourself the last man on earth,
pretend that you do not exist, -

you will not succeed,


for me you are

you

are

the sonnet of a sublime dream,

by the way, - beautifully sublime,

i feel at ease

i will shout many times

i will scream

Sublime! (until i get tired)

you

anyway,

tell me how you want, what you want,

you will not succeed

you will not push me away like you are used to

Connect to GOD
and you’re Always there
because where else could we go?

i am thinking of you, until when.

when. not seeing you.

i stretch out my hands (like a blind man)
stepping on sounds -
pieces of glass underfoot

keeping you pierced in my heels. until

when. i can't hear you.

i soften your steps with my lips

when. i don't touch you.

i don't touch yourtouch.  

until

i cry

i feel you

in the pores

the air sneaks in -

like a skilled thief
enters and exits

trying-to-stop-a-pirouette-of-smoke

(i admire the wisdom of smoke)


dizzy

we can't find the heels

without noise

falls on its hind legs (like a horse) -

from right to left
we do our best,
we try -
on the tips, and again anew

first breath, second, third ...

last -

the sound of a trumpet falls in sourdine

lips-freeze-in-words -



we breathe in a traffic roundabout
the sleeping thoughts wake up in the corner of the eyes -
at the center
a statue is playing the statue game
in a flight -

we live in a bird that receives first aid breath -

is not in a hurry to live, nor to die,

(it is much more pleasant to breathe beak to beak) -

greedy pores
are waiting for an open lip
of the lion mouth flower

*

under the window, the spry rain cleans

is washing the leaves -

crumbs fall into the wet grass

opened pores

are breathing

the fresh morning air -

(déjà vu)

it smells like october

have i told you how i miss you every day

how i love you, have i

have i told you how i love you today more than yesterday

you have no idea how big of a hug i want to give you

and kiss you, and hug you

if i get a chance

have i told you how you are a ray in the morning of Faith

if i had the blessing to see you in person i would shower you with Love

have i told you how you Shine like a star on the night sky


have you asked God what  Love can be like:

- what love can do no one can do

have i told you i care for you,

i embrace you,

i love you as i love God

   you are in God's embrace, Gods Tears

feel inside your heart, God  embraces us

i can feel what love can do for you

have i told you how i love you as i love God

this love  is the love that never changes

have i told you how Love cares for you and gives you wings to fly

fly

drive your Spirit through the red blood with Joy and Peace

drive Your Spirit on the black earth and shine like a Night Star

spread your wings for everyone who needs to fly

spread  your wings in the sky of the Divine

you have so much Light to give

you have no idea how much Light you have to give

i see your Light,
i touch your Light,
i breathe your Light

fly

but if you need some one who cares for you

if you want to cry, - cry on my shoulder

God is Blessing you with Love

breathe the freshness of Faith

shower in Eternal Gratitude

Peace is with You! Peace is with You

let it Be in Blessings and Grace! let it Be

let Your Heart touch the earth with its tremblings

fly in Divine Peace

fly with your  Angels

fly

i will be there
flying with God's  Angels
i will be there in the garden of Love
if i had the blessing to see you in person
i would shower you with God's Love in all moments of your doubt

i hope to see you soon
but not too soon :)
all in Divine right Time and Order, as it always will be

have I told you i just Love you

my heart overflows with the Love of God

follow your Spirit

i will be there in the garden of Love

have i told you that i love you as i love God

dream in the night breeze
tell me
who
who crushes our cries
who keeps us on our knees

dream in the night breeze
look into my eyes
touch my lips with promises
promise me to hold me in your arms

promise me

i will plant for you a forest in the desert
to be able to shout at me
the echo to knock on every door
and ask
how to have you

- clearwater how to drink you

this loneliness is needless
the roads are superfluous
even the rain is a stranger
an intruder
it can leave
it can leave
to leave us
to leave us alone
to leave us in the lust of madness

let it be the day when we are grassroots  growing in soil
let it be the day when we are water in the riverbed
mysterious light
a whisper in the creed

you are all I have
you are all I have in my heart

when do you come?

I received a ticket to the land of never happened,
not knowing how to find its non-end
I flew until  landed on an eyelid,
- you were standing still,

then I thought,

to be able to stand face to face,
let”s carve the gate of the kissless,
- we have eyes, we have,
we flow into them like a river of milk,
eye to eye, lip to lip, - no kiss,
like marble statues, we remain devoted to innocence,
we keep it as holy water,
we drink it without wetting our lips,
without being crazy to kiss when the village burns,

and instead of the table of silence
we better carve the table of non-silence
- everything will be perfect,
without struggling in our own nets,
we hide in one eye, small, small,
unseen and beautiful,
when the unlived would see us
so cute, and quiet,
quite,
like two fireflies,
would let us,
it would let us play between your eyebrows,

*

and we played,
we played with two strands of grass,
the grass of never happened,
it was sweet
so sweet
that the insomnia of a poem struck us,
(already written by the other eye,
but who cares
when I already had a ticket to the land of never happened)

the  dawn did not rise over the village,
- the dawn promised to wait for us,
and the garden,
beautiful garden
is waiting too
in this long morning like a year-long,
in which the muses smoulder like coal all year round,

- muses are not like poets,
not even like the sun
to burn their flames in floating waters,

- dawn does not rise over the village,
dawn awaits for us,
-  swore to the muses,
swore to wait for us
until the water reflected in the sunrise
will shine in our eyes
like the night star

Who Told You

You call again, and you talk endlessly
In this house, we spend many nights
Night after night, night after night
You tell me that you are mine
Now you left first, stay where you are,
Do not call me, do not ask

Why you call, who tolled you
That I miss you
Who told you that I love you
Your shadow follows me
like a spell running after me,
running after me
after you left,

How many time I have to tell you
We are the unfortunate one,

Stop calling me, stop talking with me
My home is not your home
I want to forget, I want to
Forget your voice, there is nothing
Nothing we can share,

~ your power and money you protect assiduously are not yours, but somebody else’s belongs

~ to those that stay bend in front of the sewing machines, and sweat from morning to night in the rice fields

~ carving out their backs in faith and in prayer, when you are exploiting every inch of their skin in hidden forms of slavery,

~You, wearing  at your ceremonies clothes made by devoted hands waiting for centuries justice to come and kiss their palms with humbleness and forgiveness,  

~while you still keep covering your misery of habit and greed in silk and playing the saver of those that never gave up on fighting against your lost sense of humanity ...

we tremble daily from word to word,
we seek meaning in the solidarity of sentences,
when the verb "was" freezes the words in immortality,
we get lost on long roads, - only
words build bridges,
  then
they isolate in self-sufficiency and absurdity,

the world is built from one word to another
reborn from one word to another

the travelling light
thaws time
- from sunset
to the east
late borders we are
silently watered by rain
- two halves of a stone
that are rounding their edges in the sun
like two lips
forgotten
in the restful easiness
from in between two *******

I get stuck too,
because
sometimes
I wonder
what to say
when I
myself have not finished my waiting,
my obsessions, my doubt, ...
and when I finish it,
how will I be able to advise you?

How I can be sure?

When, still, all my obsessions
and commitments
go hand in hand.

I don't know,

Honestly,

Sometimes,

If these words are not superfluous,
Forgive me for announcing you
That you have your own life,
Wait for it!
As she waited for you …

We are here for  trying,
no matter what
- never stop trying,

We also are here to desire.

If the desire for life is not burning inside your heart
go in the flower fields,
lie down in the green gras
deepen your hands în the black earth,
squeeze its juices, let it drain through your fingers,
meet the sun rising,
let it be your guiding light into the darkened tunnels of the soul,
walk and flow with the waves of the sea,
give a hug to someone, and dream, dream, dream ...

After,

We can try again if we are tempted,
We can help
if help is needed,
We can share
if the heart opens for sharing,
After,
we can try one more time
if we are tempted,

we try over and over again
for reaching up to the sun,
all we do here is trying ...

on that day
she performed the dance
in a mortal silence

lustful intensity,

the unusual
exit with the back
was hiding her face
without any wave of hope,
the eyes
where
seeking consolation,
her spine
became alive
like a tempting serpent,
arms
were wavy wings
a cry for help,
legs outstretched
like two cello strings
rising
under the guidance
of internal forces,

the pirouettes
faked
with a great talent
the lack of courage,
as a sacrifice brought to the air
she kept doing
dozens of rotations
as if
the body
was anointed
with the dark air,

then,

it fell into its arms
like a wet coat,

every movement
spoke
again and again
"I love you
and
I hate you",

sun rays
died
in a light
that bowed obediently
under  the public eyes
riveted
like a forest
of frozen trees,
waiting for
what's next

although
we have eyes
and
it is said
"the eyes make the mind",
in this life
we don't really see others,

absorbed by ourselves
we notice the others
only then
when their weaknesses catch our eyes,

vanity,
fear, - is a cloudy glass
through which we look at those around us,

rarely,
here and there
two people
undress in the fire of love
burning the blurry layers,

- in the light of the fire
empty hearts can see
the nakedness of the newborn.

the onion in  father's hands had no time to cry,
he punched it with his fist on the corner of a table,
then ate it with salt and sheep's cheese,
(like pyramid builders my father was paid in onions)

the onion in mother's hands was sweet,
called brotherly onion, and made many leaves,
spring after spring
it was multiplied throughout the village
people kept wondering
how the onion in mother's hand
doesn”t bring tears,

- the onion in my hands is waiting

to clean it with my hands,
to cut it with a knife,
to punch it with a fist,

I think,
whenever I have an onion in my hands
I think,

the onion is waiting,


the onion in my hands

is waiting

to cry

as I go up and down the stairs,
the rain stops abruptly as if struck by lightning,
the breath of spring deflowers my lungs,
I see two eyes bathing in the outpouring of sounds,
the chirping of birds snatches my mind,
pulls it on a string,
- the thought
sits on the lilac leaves,

I cling to everything that gets in my way,
I feel like then
when I was drowning in the pond at the far end of the village
hanging from a willow branch
at the bottom of the water, I hear your voice,
you were whispering:
"breathe, breathe, move your hands
move your legs,
it will come, it will come "

with the tightness of my heart, I take my head out of the water,
expire water,
for the rest of my life, I stay away from thirst,

at times

I prefer to be a sauerkraut
or dilute like a mercaptan
which passes through its own volume of air,
raising its value to an acceptable limit,

I search,
I give myself time,

I end up in a world of smells,
lichen, moss scent the forest
without losing patience
or weight,
lazy molecules (arouse my envy),
- little magicians on stones,
faithful masters of the forest boulders,
a carpet of green moss
I will be,
without blood in the veins,
without flowers,

today I will be
a moss that absorbs all the moisture from the rain
until I get over my own invisibility.

heavenly goodness,
I come to you like a fanatical believer,
thirsty for confession in prayer,
I come to touch you with God”s words;
- my heart burns like an unquenchable fire,
light from light, feel the trembling of the burning fire,
- from shore to shore I will be your horizont
wearing a candlestick with a hundred arms,
- when the nights sleep one in each other,
come to me, - comfort the heavenly vault,
let your hungry eyes feed on the ******* devoted to white milk,
- blade of grass that trembles at the first breeze,
- dream born at the window, untamed goodness, feel my breath,
let me be your healing chrism, throw your arrey on me,
- come,
I will caress you in the valley of the thighs,
as a skilled architect mark my skin with kisses,
play with my holy adornments, - overindulge,
mix me with your blood,
with your holy rebel wake me up from the deep sleep,
conquer my hips as they swim in the trembling of temptation,
drink me like the ocean drinks the sea,
open the gates of heaven,
unleash your desire in the fainting circles, - healing power,
anoint me with chrism,

The Man of the Woman of God
You are the healer of the seed.

in a drop of honey. meant to be. to be lost.
although. it seems. the moment has passed.
in reunion. the candour of the words touches our breath.
there are not many thoughts to see.
the fateful meeting. shared without being.
during another equally fateful meeting.

you're right. i still wonder where you are.
from whose sleep you are born in blue mornings.
flowing appearance disguised in the bird thrill.

the green eyes. thirsty eyes want you
- greedy seekers for physical existence.
while the heart is a master on the other side of the hours and days.
piling them against the walls of fleeting sleep.

a memento. about how far we have come to forget.
and how much we hold on. on the line of the palms. deviations from the sun's rays. forced into curves of smiles. what breaks the skin. in the flesh. i'm not alone. when it hurts. the gates of heaven open the perplexity.

in bewilderment you remind me. who am i.

Halfway between past and future,
Life and death, singularity and universality,
The eye is looking through the clepsydra of time,
The Absolut,
- I am the only one twisting the strings of conflux,
The Eternal tells,
-All things from today and tomorrow already happened,
It is all in vain, don't even  bother,
There are even memories of
The worlds that haven't been born yet,

Tying to suspend time,
Why?
When the days and nights are unchanged
From the beginning of the world.

****** battles take place in the Blue Ravine,
pirates ships are drowning in blind ghosts
Moby-**** bites the boat in two,
possessed by fallen angels
you hurl the harpoon in the belly of the white whale,
lost sailors save you,

wandering haunts disguised as paper boats,
pirates with one eye dig up Saturnian pleasures,

you swim,
as if you were an amphibious man,
you catch her,
you hold her in your arms,
you kiss her,
the fire ignites,
she burns like a good lye wood,

the salt and ashes  sleep  between your fingers,
your tongue burns,
you need water,
a Fairy brings the spring water to your gate,
you sip  from her palms
(with a thirst of a fish drowned in its own brine)

The fairy puts words on your lips,
calls you by name, you reach the shore,
with  eyes, wide opened you  look in the dream book,

You realize, - there is no escape
big nuisance, "I'm touched by a drop of wax"
you'll never be what you used to be
you jump out of bed
you run
you suffocate
the rain takes a cold shower on you

You run outside and sit on the roadside bench,
Finally,
You see how little John and Mary play in the rain puddle with a paper boat.

they are invisible
there are always bridges
across the chasm,

Your memories will always be the treasure of your soul,
Good, less good, light as the sun's rays
Or heavy as a well stones,
Protect your memories
And stop fighting for the man without a past,

Let the memories make you happy in the sadness of the day,
Today and tomorrow,
Do not chase them away like fierce enemies,
How to live in a world without a past,
How to lose the love for what we lived,
And the pain we felt,

Let them caress your soul like a feather in a dream,
When only the stones see you and the dogs boo you,
And the knot tightens in your throat,
At times, memories are the only one soothing you,

And the only one calling for hope at the table of pain,
And the only one calling  the desire in the bed of love,
And the only one that fight as can fight.