you like holding my hand tight and carrying my mess of pretend because i don't breathe in or out for too long and i love you the [only] way i know how - like the idea that we are made for each other can take us past tonight

i live
for messages strangers leave
on sidewalks
bridges
trees
i love
hearts carved into wood
names and dates
that may no longer mean anything

we leave a little piece of our souls
everywhere we go

baby it's cold outside
i can't sleep at night
having all these nightmares
about mid-July
baby it's cold outside
the wind is sharp and it hurts
more than my skin
it taunts my heart beating in my chest
"everything won't be worth it"
baby it's cold outside
and nobody else seems to feel
the ice like rain
falling from the sky
no one else seems bothered
about mid-July
baby it's cold outside
the sun left my soul
too long ago
baby it's cold outside
and i'm losing home

i pray
you see me
in your dreams

my journal was dedicated to you
a proclamation of
how i adored your smile
how your touch set me on fire
how every minute spent together left me craving
more and more and more of you
rushed scribbles
describing how your eyes searched my soul
and left me wanting nothing more than a look at yours
filled every empty space
my ink bled your praises
line upon line quote the love you claimed
pages were filled with promises you made in a drunken state
my journal was a tribute to you
a celebration of you
a monument
to you
and yours didn't even mention my name