I have never felt
this humiliated and betrayed
by my heart

It looked at my life
and beat that strong thud
that sent my foot
pushing down on the ground
in staccato
telling me "enough"

broken homes
turned to houses.

feelings and memories,
buried underneath the deafening silence
of lost love.

no more warm fires
to keep hallways and rooms
full of happiness,
and free of heartache.

no more giggles echoing down halls
and bursting into the empty air of a room
to fill the void with joy.

no more angry shouts
that break the barriers of thin walls.

no more silent tears
that christen the carpeted floors.

nothing.

a home turned house.

wasted to the muted tones of a dead reminiscence.

I don't trust myself or anybody else,
Lost in the thoughts that run
rings around my head.
Trying to keep up
as my brain slips into its comatose state.
No room left to feel
so my hearts begins to disappear.
Death is my friend,
welcoming with open arms and a sly grin.
He knows that I will slowly sink into his depths.
Lost beyond all hope,
as darkness eats me inside out
I cannot,
will not scream or shout,
for help
Or mercy.

i hope one day
i could stop
staring at the stars
in your eyes

to look away
to finally look up
and see the whole universe
beyond my sight.

Before he was here
He would have said, "bereft of feeling,"
Now he says TBI

Before he was here,
Overwatch was a game.
Now it keeps him and others alive

Before he was here
He was a conscientious vegan.
Now he's an omnivore,
Devouring vacuum sealed inorganic meat byproducts.
With vigor

Before he was here
Musty was the damp basement smell-- endearing, familiar
Now it's the infection smell -- nauseating, familiar

Before he was here,
There was good and evil,
Now there are only shades of evil

Before he was here
She was there,
Always.
Now she is gone,
Forever.

Before he was here
Death was distant, clinical
Now it's cloying, visceral

He doesn't know if he'll be able
To return to the time before here
He doubts it.